Posted in Explaining the Strange Behavior, Family, Religion

My Soul Cries Out to Thee

I left work early today, and I was home before Mom brought Thor in from their excursions.  I was more than two hours earlier than I ever get to the house.  When I heard them coming in the front door, I told B, “I’m going to hide.”  So, I threw a blanket over myself and sat on the sofa–hiding in plain sight works on 7 year olds.  It works on Grandmas, too because I had to wave at Mom to get her to notice me, and put a finger over my lips to keep her from exclaiming.

Thor was standing not 3 feet from me, and B said, “Hey, I think there is a lump over there on the sofa that might want a hug.” Thor paused, then walked over to me and started laughing.  And he laughed, and laughed, and laughed until he had tears in his eyes, hugging me, then leaning back to look at me and laugh some more.

It’s amazing and wonderful how something so simple and silly can bring so much joy.

My mom called me later to tell me how happy it made her to see how much the boy and I love each other, and to say, “And that’s how much I love you, too.”

You guys…I am humbled and grateful every day of my life.  It isn’t possible to do enough to deserve the love I’ve had around me, and it pricks at the most latent parts of my spirituality.  Critics talk about how the desperate and the downtrodden invent gods to make themselves feel better, but it is when I am at my happiest that I most want one.  I just want to say thank you and express my gratitude to someone–I need to say thank you*!  I’m after God’s heart because mine gets so full.  I miss my old zealotry and surety the most when I am bursting to say thank you.

Thor wanted to show me one of the Bibles my mom has bought him–it’s verse style, not story style, so he’s very impressed.  I asked if he’d like to see my favorite verse, and he said yes, but he certainly hoped it was in the New Testament because the Old Testament sure is boring.  He was in luck.

Romans 8:38, 39 reads, “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[k] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

He read that out loud in whatever translation his was, and I said, “That’s my favorite verse, and that’s how much I love you.  Nothing can ever separate you from how much I love you, or change that you are mine.”

It’s always been the “because He first loved me” aspect of Christianity that attracted me to the faith.

At this point in my life, I have a thousand more questions than I will ever have answers regarding God, but that’s okay.  Because if the god I chose  loves me anywhere near the way I love Thor–anywhere near the way my mother loves me, then the questions and uncertainty won’t bother him at all.  Not even my disbelief could separate me from that love.  (Sacrilege!  I know.  But not even his willful refusal to acknowledge me would make me turn my back my son, and I am an imperfect being.  It is possible [I think not probable, since he doesn’t show any tendencies toward serial killing or despotism] that he could do things to horrify and make me not like him, and possible that he could distress and disappoint me, but there is nothing that could quell the love I have for him.  Maybe that’s part of the imperfection of humanity–if it is, I prefer it to deity.)

Anyway…it is in every sense of the word a blessing to be married to my husband and into his family, and to belong to the family I was born into, and to have the family of friends I’ve made, and especially to be the family that we became when we had Thor, and I want to express my gratitude to everyone who has made even an ounce of it possible.

Here is Thor, having bored himself to sleep, reading Genesis.
Here is Thor, having bored himself to sleep, reading Genesis.


*This is a real issue for me.  I have sat on hold for 15 minutes waiting for a store manager, just to say thank you for good service.  I have a compulsive need to show gratitude that can manifest in a slavish devotion depending upon the level of thanks I am giving.  I guess there are worse compulsions?

Posted in Friends of Mine, Style

Sweet Treats and Heavy Metals by GreyGyrl Star Makers

I met Amber when I was working at the nation’s largest video game retailer.  She, Amy, and I were all expecting at the same time.  Three months apart each, Amber had Breanna, then Amy had Bel, and I had Thor.  And ping, ping, ping, we came back to work.  Then, Amy left, I left, and Amber left, and we’ve all been doing various things since then.  One of the things Amber has been doing, is making jewelry with Breanna.  Creative and amazing on her own, when you add Breanna to the mix, you get a duo of fantastic artists, making one-of-a-kind jewelry.  I love it!

The beautiful Breanna and her red crab resin pendant.

I asked Amber to write up the story behind GreyGyrl, the name of their Etsy store, so I could share it with you all.  I think you’ll love the jewelry!  It ranges from sweet-enough-to-eat, to truly sentimental.

Great advice. Great jewelry.

GreyGyrl – Star Makers is a mother daughter team Amber & Breanna Barnes (age 34 and 7) creating and
designing jewelry pieces.

The idea behind it was to find something fun to do as a hobby that both mommy and daughter enjoyed.
More times than they will actually admit, involved trips to Michaels & Hobby Lobby for weekend art
projects. It was actually Breanna (age 7) who asked the question maybe we can try to make stuff people
wanna buy. Then we can have more money for even more art stuff.

Stuff people might want to buy. I love this one–I think it looks like tattoo art.

So then Amber (age 34) began surfing the world of Google and researched some ideas. Starting
with Resin seemed the most fun. Both mommy and daughter looked at the various charms, shells, and
ideas and began designing. Once a few of the pendants were made with only a dozen or so causalities,
next step was to set up an Etsy Store. Breanna named the store and up went the listings of handmade
pieces for sale. The first few sales however did come from Grandma but the mother daughter duo was
not picky! Now random strangers are finding the little shop and more and more items are being added
all the time!

Some of Amber’s metal stamping work.

Also the types of pendants include Custom and ready-made metal stamped pendants, the latest favorite
etsy style scrabble tiles turned charms, resin and more. It’s a great hobby and a way to make a few extra
bucks while being home with the kids, but the best part is hearing how much someone loves the piece
designed by Breanna (age 7).

I know you know someone who would love to have this one!

Check out GreyGyrl.  These are wonderful people, and lovely jewelry.

Posted in Family

Mom! Mom! Mom!

At 6:45 this morning, I called my mother for advice.  Luxury.  What a luxury.

I was waffling over whether or not to send Thor to daycamp, to go on a field trip to a water park on a heat advisory day.  Since this is my first rodeo, I called on my mother.  While I may have thought she was extremely overprotective in my youth, I am alive today, with no major scars, no diseases, and all my limbs, so she must know a thing or two about child rearing.

“It’s supposed to be 112 today, and Thor has his field trip to the water park.  If it were me, would you have let me gone?”

“No,” she said, without hesitation.

“Okay, because I was worried about him being out in the heat.”

“I wouldn’t have sent you.  Too hot.”

“Good enough.”

“Want me to come get him?”


45 minutes later, she was there.  Luxury.

I’m a daughter, and all daughters and mothers have their moments, but I want you to know that I am well aware of my fortune in having a mother who is there.  Who shows up.  Whose support I can count on.  Whom I can trust.  Whose main concern in life is that her child is safe, happy, and sound. 

It is a luxury, and I am grateful.