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I have never been much of a housekeeper. Well, my mother says that I was fastidiously tidy as a small child, but I don’t remember that. What I remember is a tornado blasted bedroom with toys and clothes everywhere. I am what you call a Messy. If I don’t put something away immediately, it’s going to sit there for a long, long time. After all, what’s it bothering?

As B and I were preparing to move, he suggested that we give tidiness a try at the new place. Since B and I share the same working level of housekeeping skillsets, this is a challenge.

Some of you are really good at this. Some of you, like Grace, can work a full time job, take care of two children, cook meals from scratch every day, keep a sparkling clean home, and still have time to post semi-weekly pictures of half naked Hugh Jackman. (Where do you find all these pictures, Grace? Or does the man just never wear shirts?) Some of you, like Jamie, are SAHMs, who make cozy homes that are delightful and inviting, and still look like you could eat off the floor (or drink coffee off the sofa arm–but that’s my fault.) I live in awe of you. It’s a talent, ladies, whether you recognize that or not.

Some of you, like me, are missing that chip. Which is why I have someone coming to give me an estimate on what it would cost to have them scrub my toilets and dust my mantle. However, I am very proud to tell you that for the past two weeks, I have made both my bed, and Thor’s bed every single day. Sometimes twice, if naps were taken. I haven’t done this since…ever.

I have this inner all-or-nothing switch that makes it difficult. See, I either have to clean everything I see and not stop until I am finished, or do nothing at all because only doing it halfway makes me panic, and then I am nervous and unhappy, and start telling myself what a disappointment and waste of space I am. I could never get a handle on our house, so I really spent a lot of time in that tailspin.

As I was cooking last night, in my wee, tiny, little kitchen (five Lane-sized steps long, and two Lane-sized steps wide), cleaning as I went, and keeping things neat, I realized I was feeling very happy. Secure, even. And it hit me: I had been intimidated by the size of the kitchen in our house. Too much room to spread out in. Too much counter space for me to destroy with the detrius of my cooking. In this tiny space, I felt like Snow White. If bluebirds had come flittering in to make pie crusts, I wouldn’t have batted a lash (I might have swatted them away, though, because there’s no room for anyone else while I’m in there.)

For a second I thought, “You can’t handle big space–you don’t deserve big space.” Then I thought, “How rude! I totally deserve big space! But you don’t start a kid in calculus when he can’t even work fractions.” And that’s sort of what I did to myself. I never even learned to manage a small space, so when we moved into a sprawl, I panicked. MUST CLUTTER! MUST…ACK! WHAT DO I DO?! And when I felt overwhelmed, I gave up.

I realize 40 is very old to try to start learning this stuff, but I’m trying again. I have to. In the small space, we don’t really have a choice. We would be over our heads with three plates in the sink and two pairs of socks in the living room.

B is making his effort, too. So is Thor. We may never be Better Homes and Gardens perfect, but at least we’ll be able to have people come over without me wanting to cry.

Also, I feel very silly saying this, but the new place just seems to have a good energy. Maybe there is something to Feng Shui? Maybe there is something to the view of water and wood? Or, maybe I’m just happy. Whatever. If I can get someone else to mop and dust, I think I can manage the rest.

Arwen did this, so I’m gonna.

1. What did you do in 2010 that you’d never done before?
Sold a book.

2. Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I don’t really make NY resolutions, but this time last year, I was looking for a job and was determined to make a solid go of any job I got. If that was a resolution, I kept it.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
No

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Knock wood, no.

5. What countries did you visit?
Mexico

6. What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010?
The self-discipline it takes to keep up a nice looking home.

7. What date from 2010 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Thor’s first day of school. That’s a biggie. Not in small part because it meant saving $140 a week!

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
I feel like getting and working hard at my job was an achievement. I regained a lot of lost self esteem.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Laundry and toilet scrubbing.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Not anything notable.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
We paid off both cars. Does that count?

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
My whole family did well. We are all very human, but the good thing is that we all understand that, and love each other anyway.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
I really wasn’t around much of that this year. A relative struggled through a nasty spell, and the persona t the root of his trouble was appalling, but I never saw it personally.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Daycare, up until September.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Moving! We are city folk again!

16. What song will always remind you of 2010?
Dynamite

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? Happier
ii. thinner or fatter? 7lbs fatter
iii. richer or poorer? In balance, about the same.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Laundry and toilet scrubbing

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Feeling guilty about laundry and toilet scrubbing

20. How (did) you spend Christmas?
With my family, mainly assembling Thor’s gifts.

21. Did you fall in love in 2010?
I stay in love.

22. What was your favorite TV program?
Nothing really sent me this year, but I do laugh a lot at 30 Rock

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
No

24. What was the best book you read?
Slummy Mummy

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
How to work my iTunes

26. What did you want and get?
A good job

27. What was your favorite film of this year?
I can’t think of one offhand. We didn’t see a lot of movies this year.

28. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
We went to the Melting Pot and ate fondue…and I was forty

29. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Someone to do my laundry and scrub my toilets…not to seem repetitive

30. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2010?
Snug

31. What kept you sane?
A good sense of humor

32. What political issue stirred you the most?
None of them. I’m too jaded to think my stirred-up-ness matters, so I just glower at them all.

33. Who did you miss?
All of my grandparents

34. Who was the best new person you met?
Well that is easy. Rebecca.

35. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010:
What goes around, does come around. And when you use what you have to help people, other people will use what they have to help you.

36. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
I can’t believe I’m about to write this, but “All you need is now.”

I have been coveting a dress from Pinup Couture for over a year now, so when it went on special for the holidays, and I came into some birthday monies, I snapped it up. I am thinking about it now because I’ve just been trying it on and admiring it in front of the mirror. I fully intend to wear it to B’s holiday party, which happens in just a few weeks.

The Ava dress in Jade Green.

It’s amazing, isn’t it? I also have some black satin, wedges with a rosette, which I plan on wearing with it.

I’ve even found the perfect foundation garments for the shape of the dress, no mean feat, and I have a stunning faux fur wrap to wear with it, courtesy of my mother’s Home Shopping Network addiction and her great love of dressing me up. Thanks, Mom!

Together with a vintage emerald bib necklace, I think this dress will knock it out of the park.

However, I am feeling a bit like a dumpling lately. Or a pudding bag. I’m not sure which. One of the reasons Thor got a Wii for Christmas, was so that I could use it for workouts. I bought a Biggest Loser game (pre-owned from GameStop, a former employer of mine–shop their used games, I have great affection for the used games department at corporate, as they used to employ my Lobster and were very good to her) and gave it a go this morning.

I’ve never watched the show, but I’ve heard that the lady trainer is evil, so I chose the man trainer. I couldn’t find a Mii who was near my age/sex/size, so I just picked a blonde and went to town. Not bad, although, it did require some coordination and the ability to pick up a choreographed movement. I just kind of bounced around in place when it came to that.

I also bought an egg timer, and will start doing situps and pushups again. To start, I’ll do as many as I can for one minute, then two minutes, then three minutes. Then I’ll start doing circuits of one, two, and three minutes. And I’ve got to start watching what I eat again. With so many excellent restaurants around…

Anyway, that’s where my brain is tonight.

I trust you all had a merry Christmas. Mine was lovely and low key, just the way I like. The birthday went well, too.

Yesterday, I was on my way to do some grocery shopping and take care of my hobo-nails (the move did nothing for my manicure), when I realized I still hadn’t gotten my oil changed. So, trying to be a responsible adult since I am now 40, I searched out an open oil change place. The only one open was WalMart.

I do shop at WalMart–I’m not a snob about where I spend my money. They have good products that have always lasted a long time for me. Now, I won’t shop at every WalMart, or every Ross for that matter. Some of the stores are just too unorganized, cluttered, or flat out dirty. If I feel the need to sanitize my hands after every aisle, I won’t shop there.

The WalMart near our new home is just such a one. It is groddy. But, I needed an oil change, so I stopped off. The tech said, “You okay with a two and a half hour wait?” I said, “Okay.” It could be worse, right? At least there were things to look at inside. I wasn’t stuck sitting in the waiting room of an NTB for that length of time, smelling tires. And I’ve been there. With a toddler. Oi. He said, “That’s how long it’s going to be. Give me your phone number, and we’ll call you when it’s ready.” I did as instructed, then went inside to bide my time.

This WalMart has a nail salon, so I figured I’d kill all my birds with one stone. I could get my manicure, and do my grocery shopping, and eat a Big Mac while I waited for my car. I went to the embedded McDonald’s and ate lunch, then went into the nail salon. For their prices, I could get a mani/pedi and a little design, without spending too much more than I had planned on spending on a manicure at the Hawaiian Nail Bar (my favorite place to go for pampering.)

I got very good service there. So good, I might actually brave the horrors of that WalMart to go back. However, when I explained why I was waiting around, the nail tech cried, “No! Don’t ever take your car there! I took my car there and it broke the next day!” My heart sank, but what could I do? I smiled. Surely my car would be fine.

My timing was excellent, and I finished my shopping just at the 2.5 hour mark, and trekked back to the automotive area. I was congratulating myself on having kept a smile on my face whilst dealing with rude people, miscreant children, and the general yuck of a bad WalMart, and I was hopeful that I wasn’t going to have to wait too long for them to finish up my car. I began to pontificate. If we all smiled, if we all were kind, wouldn’t this be a nicer place to shop? Maybe I could be contagious. I smiled more, feeling gracious and –quite honestly– a little bit superior. I was wonderful, and these people were nasty. Wonderful, wonderful me. I nodded benevolently at a cretin who didn’t understand saying “Excuse me,” when you cut someone off. Poor dear. (What goeth before a fall? Oh, Lane. Will you never learn?)

Was my car ready? Er, yes. It had been ready for nearly two hours, cha! Just been sitting there waiting for me.

Ever feel your face fall? My smile fell right off. I said, “They told me it would be two and a half hours…” “Yeah,” the cashier grinned, “that’s what we tell people to give ourselves some leeway. It never really takes that long.” I gaped. I said, “But the tech said they would call when it was finished?” The cashier shrugged, “It’s been ready a long time.”

So much for my self-congratulatory mood. That’s cause and effect hubris for you, right there. I start feeling smug about how I can be patient and zen in a disgusting WalMart for 3 hours, the day after Christmas, and Zeus goes, “Ha ha, we’ll see about that.” Hmph.

Anyway, I paid the nice man, and rolled my basket full of groceries out the back door to my car, fussing to myself as people watched me struggle with the door and the buggy, dead, glassy eyes barely flickering registration that another human being was in need of help. So much for benevolent understanding that not everyone was raised to help people. I glowered nastily. I got my cart unloaded and put away, then went to start my engine. Can you guess what happened next? Or didn’t happen?

No more smiling at all. I spent the next twenty minutes insisting upon having my battery jumped because there had been nothing wrong with my car when I had driven it into their bay of doom, and having one after another tech argue with me. Poor B kept taking my calls, alternating with, “I need you to come down here because these fools are giving me $*%^,” and “Don’t leave yet, maybe this one can fix it.”

One finally got it going, and I drove away mad. Hopping mad. No smiling. No joy. Only aggravation and worry that my milk was spoiling in the backseat.

But it wasn’t a complete wash. I got a great manicure, and bought a couple of new, inexpensive sweaters to wear in my new, much more casual work environment. I also learned where not to go for car repairs, and remembered that being patient only works if you are patient all the time–not just when it is convenient.

Cold today, so I am layered up in one of my new sweaters. You’ll have to flip the colors for full effect, though. My tshirt is blue, and my sweater is a nice, butter yellow. I don’t know why the yellow sweater isn’t showing up online. Pricing is about right on everything, save the earrings and shoes. I bought my Merrells on sale at Cabella’s for $23, and I have worn the heck out of them for two years. They are incredibly comfortable and very, very warm. Important for my cold feet. The earrings came out of my mother’s jewelry box, decades ago.

I always buy a size or two up in a sweater. This does make me a little sad, when looking in the mirror, but it allows me to get more layers under it. I don’t like to wear coats, so my layers work best for me in cold weather.

We are moved! Whew.

That is, we have moved everything we need from the country house into the town house, and will now work toward preparing the country house for sale. Then, after we sell it, we will move out of the leased town house and buy a new home, at which time we will move again. P.S. I forgot my knives and cookware, but I got all my shoes. This should tell you all you need to know about my kitchen prowess.

My jewelry cabinet fared well! That is, my jewelry inside the cabinet fared well. I nearly destroyed the cabinet itself. My mother gave me some furniture slides a while back, and I used those to move the cabinet. Those things are AMAZING, by the way. If you have to move any furniture, or anything heavy I highly recommend them. It was going well until I tripped, then the cabinet fell like a tree and I cried like a lumberjack. Don’t you bet it is an ugly thing when a lumberjack cries?

B came running into the room, assuming from the commotion and my wails that I had split myself in two. I sobbed and pointed, and wailed some more. I’m blaming stress. That and all I could think was, “Mom paid god knows how much for this for me, and I have destroyed it! Destroyed! I will never have anything this nice again!”

But, I had wrapped the cabinet well enough that none of the mirrors cracked, and the only damage was done to one of the top corners. Thank Grilled Cheezus for bubble wrap!

Even having been dropped and moved, and bounced around in a truck, all my jewelry stayed put in the sticky saran wrap. The earrings that were jogged out of place stuck to the wrap, so it was very easy to keep everything in tact. Happy!

Thor loves the new place. I am very comfortable and happy in the new place. B likes it and is very happy about how it changed our commutes.

Driving home the other day, I was thinking about how fortunate we are. We have worked hard for what we have, yes, but there are other people who have worked just as hard, and harder. We are very blessed and fortunate, and grateful for what we have. I am very thankful.