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I Am Not An Animal


I woke up with one eye allergy-swollen shut, and by the time Thor’s baseball game was over (they won!) I had been sneezing and coughing for 2 hours.  That, combined with my blazing cold sore and generic bloat rather limited my self confidence, and I elected not to go to the audition.  There is another slot tomorrow evening, so if I am feeling more like a human and less like The Elephant Man’s niece, I’ll hit that one.  If I am still a crusty, ragweed-riddled version of myself, I will just stay home and try not to frighten children.

Meanwhile, here I am on the sofa rubbing my eyes and whining.  I want a robot so I can send it out for ice cream.

As a reminder:

We’ve just hit 100 subscribers to The Outside Lane, so it’s time to celebrate!

cropped-tol-smug1.jpg

The giveaways of Some of my Favorite Things will be done by random drawing on Tuesday, May 6.  You have until 11:59 pm, Monday, May 5 to get your name in the drawing as many times as you like.  To get in on the drawing do one, or all of the following as many times as you like:

  1. Leave a comment on ANY entry from the blog
  2. “Like” the Facebook page
  3. Leave a comment on the Facebook page
  4. Share the blog from your Facebook, Twitter, or Blog (and leave the link in a comment on TOL or the TOL Facebook page)

Don’t go nuts, though.  If you leave 50 comments saying the same thing, you’re only getting one entry.

When I have 2 winners, I’ll pick some of my favorite things to fit the person.  I’d hate to send a guy a bunch of face cream.

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When Lazy and Nihilistic Have a Baby, and GIVEAWAY!


An 18 wheeler full of beer just pulled up alongside my building and unloaded 34 kegs onto the sidewalk.  I have a feeling they meant to be on the other side of our building, which shares parking with a tavern and 3 restaurants.  I’m watching the driver run fulls over (to the tavern, I am assuming), and bring the empties back to his truck.  Nice day for it, at least.

So, tomorrow are the auditions for the community theater.  Even though I’ve had weeks to prepare, I’ve done nothing toward it.  This is nothing new.  I always tell myself, “I’ll prepare.”  Then, a day before, I tell myself, “Well, if you can’t ace it without preparation, you didn’t need to be doing it anyway.” 

That’s what it looks like when Lazy and Nihilistic have a baby.

I’m still leaning toward going, if only because I need to do something outside my comfort zone before I become a full on hermit.  As I’ve said, worst case scenario is I come back with an embarrassing story to relate to you all, and that’s still full of win, so I may as well go.

And, In case you missed it:

We’ve just hit 100 subscribers to The Outside Lane, so it’s time to celebrate!

cropped-tol-smug1.jpg

The giveaways of Some of my Favorite Things will be done by random drawing on Tuesday, May 6.  You have until 11:59 pm, Monday, May 5 to get your name in the drawing as many times as you like.  To get in on the drawing do one, or all of the following as many times as you like:

  1. Leave a comment on ANY entry from the blog
  2. “Like” the Facebook page
  3. Leave a comment on the Facebook page
  4. Share the blog from your Facebook, Twitter, or Blog (and leave the link in a comment on TOL or the TOL Facebook page)

Don’t go nuts, though.  If you leave 50 comments saying the same thing, you’re only getting one entry.

When I have 2 winners, I’ll pick some of my favorite things to fit the person.  I’d hate to send a guy a bunch of face cream.

Uncategorized

Double Giveaway Celebration!


We’ve just hit 100 subscribers to The Outside Lane, so it’s time to celebrate!

cropped-tol-smug1.jpg

The giveaways of Some of my Favorite Things will be done by random drawing on Tuesday, May 6.  You have until 11:59 pm, Monday, May 5 to get your name in the drawing as many times as you like.  To get in on the drawing do one, or all of the following as many times as you like:

  1. Leave a comment on ANY entry from the blog
  2. “Like” the Facebook page
  3. Leave a comment on the Facebook page
  4. Share the blog from your Facebook, Twitter, or Blog (and leave the link in a comment on TOL or the TOL Facebook page)

Don’t go nuts, though.  If you leave 50 comments saying the same thing, you’re only getting one entry.

When I have 2 winners, I’ll pick some of my favorite things to fit the person.  I’d hate to send a guy a bunch of face cream.

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Giveaway–I Nearly Forgot!


The Outside Lane is up to 96 subscribers.  When we hit 100, I will do a giveaway grab bag of some of my favorite things.  If you’ve been reading, and haven’t subscribed yet, press the button! 

If we can get to 100 by the end of the day, I’ll do 2 giveaways.

Yay!  Free stuff!

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When You Have a Hoo


I used to have several excuses not to get out and run in the mornings.  Here are my best ones:

  1. I am afraid to go out by myself.
  2. I have no running shoes, and am not going to spend $$$ to buy them.
  3. I have no time.
  4. I hate running.
  5. I am really, really afraid to be out by myself, like paralyzed with fear that someone is going to jump me from behind, knock me down into that ditch and do horrible things to my half dead body.  Terrified.  Can’t breathe without crying kind of afraid.

But,

  1. I got a dog, so I am not alone.
  2. I found some really good running shoes for super cheap at Ross.
  3. Actually do have time for it, even if I only get up 30 minutes earlier.
  4. I also hate brushing my teeth (I do–hate doing that), but do it anyway, twice a day.  How is running any different?
  5. I got a dog who is quite protective, is going to end up being pretty tall, and who needs more excercise than he’s currently getting.  I have discovered that if I am busy trying to keep him from eating every perceived threat  that crosses our path, I don’t have time to be afraid.  However, I am fairly certain that any real threat would take one look at Hoo, and let us pass on by.

So, after getting Hoo, I upped my walking in the evenings from “Never” to “Sometimes” and almost “Frequently.”  Not quite, but almost.  This morning, I got up early to go jog with him.  We had a nice time, he and I.  He especially loved it when I stopped to fix my sock and he got to stick his tongue so far into my ear that it tickled my brain, which shocked me so much, I toppled over, and he got to climb on top of me, bat me with his massive paws, and swipe his tongue all the way up the left side of my face.  All this time I’ve been afraid of being mauled by a stranger, and it’s my own puppy who is the beast.  I am a little bit in love with this animal.  Just a little bit.

As we were crossing a street, a coyote ran out in front of us.  The coyote barely registered us, giving us just a glance before trotting on by, but Hoo lost his mind.  I’m not sure if he thought, “My people!” or if he thought, “My dinner!” but he wanted that coyote so bad he nearly took my arm out of socket.  The coyote appeared to want a nice thigh from the unwitting warriors out doing the boot camp session in the rec center parking lot. 

They had no idea they were being sized up by a wild animal.  The coyote stood on the edge of the parking lot, eyeing them for a few seconds, then he shot on into the woods.  I guess he didn’t see a weak one he could separate from the pack.  Boot Campers, you lived to see another day! 

We were only out for about 30 minutes, but Hoo was very happy about the outing.  I was, too.  It was nice to get out and go.  Did I run?  Not even a 10th of the way, but I did walk so quickly I might as well have been jogging.  Now my excuse is that my socks come off when I run, so I need new socks, I guess.

I will never like running, but I will always like walking the dog.

My handsome prince.  I love his ears, and his eyebrows, and his beard, and even his sloppy tongue.
My handsome prince who drives away fears. I love his ears, and his eyebrows, and his beard, and even his sloppy tongue.