I am home earlier than usual and was flipping through channels when I came across a show that I thought was about plastic surgery.  I had watched for a few seconds before I realized it was not.  It was Big, Rich Texas.  It was horrifying.  This must be how the people of New Jersey feel about Jersey Shore.  Horrifying.

I don’t even know where to begin.  I’m still aghast at the one “character” who looked like a version of The Joker accidentally injured in an accident in a Mary Kay plant, rather than falling into industrial waste.  Whoever did the airbrushing on the photos at this cast page deserves a prize or a prison sentence for false advertising because those photos in no way represent the swirling vortex of whatinthewhore that was tottering around on too-high heels in today’s episode.  Unholy use of eyeliner, Batman!  Dang.

Please, children, do not try to emulate a group that looks like it crawled out from under a Wet ‘n Wild factory after a rough night at a half off sale in Charlotte Russe.  How is this entertainment?  It isn’t even well acted!  How could it be?  None of the faces move.

Good night.  That was just terrible.  Terrible.