Posted in Advice, boot camp best, Health, Inside Lane, Philosophy, relationships, Uncategorized

What is Sexy: Part Five and Final

In just a couple of days, on May 22, you’ll see The Outside Lane featured on theNickelodeon Parents Connect Sexy Mama Boot Camp.  Leading up to that, I’d like to introduce you (and any new readers) to some things I think are sexy.

1.  Taking care of yourself is sexy.

The older I get, the more truth I find in the addage, “If mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.”  And, mama can’t be happy if she is sick, tired, or sad.  I find in my own family that my attitude affects everyone.  Last year, around this time, I felt like I was mired in a mess of myself and tired of making excuses for putting off taking care of Lane.

  • I had not taken time to exercise because I already had working-mother-guilt about leaving Thor in daycare, and I couldn’t stand the thought of him being in someone else’s care for even five minutes more than was absolutely necessary.  This was an excellent excuse to avoid the gym!
  • I had neglected my eating habits because I didn’t have time to shop, prepare, or cook decently.  This was an excellent reason to order pizza!
  • I had completely ignored my emotional self because I was trying to be a soldier.  This was an excellent reason to…uh…blog?

A friend’s divorce (that mirrored my parents’)  pushed me over the edge.  I was reliving the same hurt I had experienced with my parents’ nasty split, and old splinters from that broken heart were working their way into the present.  It jolted me and forced me to really take stock of what I had, and what I needed to have in order to get me through the next fifty years of my life.

Breaking points don’t have to be bad.  You remember Glow Sticks?  The only way to get anything good out of them is to break the capsule inside, release the chemical compound that catalyzes illumination, then shake like crazy.  The potential to glow is in the stick the whole time, but until you crack the hard shell surrounding the hydrogen peroxide and let it out into the phenyl oxalate ester and fluorescent dye (thanks, Bill Nye, Science Guy!), activating the potential, you’ve just got a whole lot of nothing at all.

I think a lot about glow sticks when I’m having a rough patch.  How will I shake up what’s been broken, so that instead of being bitter, I can be brighter?  Sounds corny, doesn’t it?  Rave on!

Last year, I quit making excuses for not taking care of myself. 

I got into therapy, joined Weight Watchers, started working the menus I had through my membership to, and I hit the gym.  I worked on healing my heart, my health, and the circumference of my hips.  I swam laps.  I did yoga.  I substituted apples for Doritos.  I went for long walks with my family.  I changed jobs.  I made changes in relationships.  I learned to say no to other people, and yes to myself without guilt.  And I like to think I am brighter for it.  I know I’m happier.  I know I’m healthier.

Following is a list I can highly recommend for sexy, sexy self-improvement.  Some of it is local to me (in Dallas/Fort Worth), but it’s a starting place of what to look for if you’re outside the area.  Take care of you, Boo.  No one else is going to do it for you, but everyone around you will benefit when you get started.

Posted in boot camp best, Explaining the Strange Behavior, Women Worth Knowing

I’d Do Me

I want this blog entry to be really special.  Because, if you’re a new reader who has come over from the Nickelodeon Parents Connect site and hit the “previous posts” button, it is likely that this will be the blog entry you read, and I want you to enjoy yourself here. 

I started blogging with a LiveJournal in December of 2001.  I had met this guy I really liked, and I wanted him to like me.  He had an LJ, and I hoped that if I started one, I could catch and keep his interest.  It worked well enough that he married me, and seems to still like me.  He still reads my blog after ten years.  That’s something!

I drove all my LJ friends berserk with journaling my wedding (2 out of 4 bridesmaids have confirmed I was bridezilla.  The other 2 said I was just fine, but they might just have been afraid of me.)  Eleven months after that hoopla died down, I started driving readers further nuts with journaling my pregnancy.  My first Mommy Blog was born five months into the pregnancy, and I kept up with Mommie Diarist until just before Thor (the nickname our son has had since his first sonogram) started Kindergarten–he learned to read, and I didn’t want to embarrass him by keeping a totally Thor-centric blog. 

I started To The 9s, a fashion/style/etiquette based blog, while I was working for a staffing agency.  The impetus for that being the number of job candidates I was seeing, who showed up for interviews wearing dirty, wrinkled, extremely casual attire, including flip-flops, and the coworker who never bothered to dry her hair before coming in to work. 

I kept up with that through the chronicles of my Exotic Dance Class, a diet, and the gutting depression that came with having made a very bad decision to change jobs.  The Women Worth Knowing project came out of those days as well. 

I started thinking about the wonderful women I knew all across this world, and wanted to introduce them to one another.  I created a profile Q&A and sent it off to various and sundry, and started posting those as a means of highlighting women who were successful in their endeavours at home, in the workplace, and in the world.  You can read the archives here and join the Facebook group here.  Eventually, I’ll start updating again.  I know some really amazing women.

To the 9s went the way of the Dodo, and when I was ready to start blogging again, it became The Outside Lane.  Part mommy-blog, part human interest blog, part fashion/music/movie reviews blog, part soapbox, part therapy, all me.  I have no idea how you would market this thing.  It’s very…diverse?  I hope it’s diverse and not just scattered.  I write about what I find interesting.  I write the topics of conversation I’d like to have.  I like to think the common thread is my personal sense of humor, and I like to think that comes across whether I’m shaking my tiny fist of rage, or shaking my booty.

If you’re here from Nickelodeon’s Parents Connect, then you’ve come by way of the Sexy Mama Bootcamp.  If you’re looking for advice on how to be sexy, the best I can give you is to fall in love with yourself. 

And buy one of these t-shirts.  If you wear one of these t-shirts, you will be totally sexy.  Trust me.  I’m an expert.

Posted in Uncategorized

A Special Highlight Post

In just a couple of days, on May 22, you’ll see The Outside Lane featured on theNickelodeon Parents Connect Sexy Mama Boot Camp.  Leading up to that, I’d like to introduce you (and any new readers) to some things I think are–this is something I think is outstanding.  You’ll remember LynDee Walker from a previous highlight post.  Her daughter, Avery, is a young activist, whose work to save people from the painful deaths associated with Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disorder and heart disease caused by smoking should not go unnoticed.

Consider this a mini-Women Worth Knowing entry.

Avery and her grandmother.

Avery’s much beloved grandmother died after a protracted battle with diseases caused from years of smoking.  Not one to sit idly by, then eight-year-old Avery took a stand against smoking.  Kids Against Smoking is the resulting website, with Avery’s story, 10 Gross Smoking Facts, and a No-Smoking pledge.  She says:

Kids should be against smoking so they won’t grow up and hurt their grandchildren the way losing my grandma hurt me. I miss her, and so do my mommy and little brother. My mommy says that if my grandma had never started smoking, she would probably still be here with us. She started when she was 14. That’s still just a kid, not that much older than me.

Avery and her very proud mommy.
Posted in boot camp best

What’s Sexy: Part Two

In just a couple of days, on May 22, you’ll see The Outside Lane featured on theNickelodeon Parents Connect Sexy Mama Boot Camp.  Leading up to that, I’d like to introduce you (and any new readers) to some things I think are sexy.

1.  My cousin, LynDee Walker, the award-winning journalist is sexy

LynDee Walker

LynDee is a fantastic writer, who is currently contributing articles on parenting to The Examiner.  You should read her work because she is smart, she is sincere, she is loving, and she is a lovely, lovely human being.  LynDee asked, specifically, that I link to her column about Mike and Laura Canahuati, and their baby Avery, who suffered from Spinal Muscular Atrophy.  Check it out, but grab a tissue first.

2.  Turning your hobby into a booming business is sexy

If you were a baby, you would want to wear fashions from Too Too Fabulous.

My friend, Cameron Stutzman, turned her crafty hobby into the too, too fabulous TOO TOO FABULOUS.  Shop her store for adorable baby and toddler clothes, mega hairbows, and exactly the kinds of shoes you’ll need to train up your favorite little future-shoe-diva.  Custom items at great prices.  You’ll love it!

3.  Sharing your knowledge is sexy

Julie Anne Rhodes is sexy.

I can’t say enough about Julie Anne Rhodes.  She is one of my feminine role models.  She is as comfortable in Versace as she is in her chef’s apron, and as willing to share tips about both.  Julie Anne’s Personal Chef Approach to cooking has made my kitchen life a cinch, and made me feel like a success at the same time.  You will definitely want to check out her site, and definitely want to join as a premium member.

Posted in boot camp best

What is Sexy: Part One

In just a couple of days, on May 22, you’ll see The Outside Lane featured on the Nickelodeon Parents Connect Sexy Mama Boot Camp.  Leading up to that, I’d like to introduce you (and any new readers) to some things I think are sexy.

1.  Funny Girls are Sexy

Sheila Cooper of Locked Out Comedy


One of my absolute favorite things is Sheila Cooper–she’s actually a person, not a thing, but if you ask her to be a thing, she’d be able to pull it off in a heartbeat.  Why?  Because Sheila is a member of the hilarious Locked Out Comedy improv troupe.   Check out their website and see if there is a show going on near you.  You’ll be glad you did!


2.  Great jewelry is sexy

Jewelry by June

You all know I love jewelry, but by far my favorite jewelry designer is June Pillay Graham of June Bijou.  June’s handcrafted necklaces, rings, earrings, and bracelets are so beautiful.  Every piece is a tiny work of art.  It’s also good to know that June is a wonderful human being.  I adore her.

3.  Activism and Public Service are sexy

Fighting against Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia

Eddie and Rhonda Brown are my neighbors.   In August of 2010, Eddie and Rhonda’s three-year-old daughter, Chloe, was diagnosed with Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia for a second time.  Chloe’s older sister, Bailey, was looking for a way to help.  Bailey and her school lunch table decided that on a Friday they would all wear Orange in tribute of the Leukemia Ribbon, to raise awareness of the disease affecting Chloe. It became a Friday thing, and soon, Eddie and Rhonda were founding Orange Out, a non-profit developed to help families of children fighting cancer.  Find out more at:

Follow us on Twitter at