Posted in books, Career, Explaining the Strange Behavior, Friends of Mine

Flat Friends


Did you know that you can track your pizza delivery from Dominos now?  With cute animated pizza guy and everything.  Like I needed something else to distract me!

dominos

Between that and Pottermore…

Some books, I wish I could experience again for the first time.  I wish I could experience all of Narnia again, A Wrinkle In Time, Skinny Legs and All, Tam Lin, and the first Harry Potter book.  And Slummy Mummy, because I laughed out loud at that book more times than you need to know.

Pottermore (and yes, I was sorted into Gryffindor, though I expected Hufflepuff) is bittersweet because even though JK Rowling writes for it, the adventure is over and no matter how many potions you get to make, Harry, Ron, and Hermoine have long left the building.  I like to think we’d all have been friends.  I like to think the Pevensies, the Murrys and I would all have gotten on–I always thought my dearest elementary school friend was exactly like Meg Murry, so I loved Meg Murry all the more. 

Yesterday, I was thinking back to how I got started writing.  I can’t remember a time I wasn’t making up stories for my own entertainment.  When forced to lie down for naps, I would tell myself stories–frequently involving Mr. Spock ending up as my guardian, since he was a favorite.  Then, when I was in 3rd grade, a friend introduced me to fanfiction, and it wasn’t long before I was crossing over Battlestar Galactica with Star Blazers.  –That’s an easy way to go to practice writing.  No character development required.  You only have to work out the plot.  Or, in my case, work out how live action could cross over with anime.

Maybe if I am ever a famous writer, Leonard Nimoy and Dirk Benedict will find out how instrumental they were to my development and–well, that’s not ladylike writing, and Leonard Nimoy might not be limber enough at this stage of the game.

Posted in Lancient History

Little Girls Understand


Because some things are too funny not to share…

Of course, you have to have been a child who was as invested in writing stories as I was. And I was. I wrote my first fanfiction in early elementary school. It was a crossover between Battlestar Gallactica and Star Blazers. Starbuck (original Starbuck–the male version) was going to marry Trelaina of Star Blazers. I had just read Forever, by Judy Blume, and I made sure to include a blow job. That’s right. I was writing smut as an eight-year-old. My older friend ratted me out, concerned that I might have been heading down (ha-ha, head-ing!) the wrong path, so I kept my fic to myself until junior high, when a friend and I used to write Duran Duran fanfiction back and forth for each other.

You see, I would write out her scenarios with Nick Rhodes, and she would write out my scenarios with everyone else, and sometimes Nick. I was an equal opportunity fan. I have had a crush on every member of that band, for at least five minutes. The Warren crush lasted five minutes. I announced I had it, Kim sent me a picture of him with his hand down his pants, and that was that. I went back to lusting for Billy Bob Thornton, who seemed the cleaner choice.

Most of our fiction was very, very dramatic and usually involved at least one, if not three, near death scenes, and even a gang fight. We were both into Westside Story and The Outsiders. Now try to imagine John Taylor in a gang fight. Now come back to me. Stop laughing.

Oh, and we always wrote ourselves as being 21…because that was OLD and WORLDLY.

Darice, who is going to have to do a WWK Q&A soon, and I were laughing about our fourteen-year-old selves, and I shared the former information with her. Not five minutes later, this is in my mailbox:

LANE: “I’m… dying….” ::coughcough::

JOHN: No! Lane, don’t… you can’t die!

SIMON: We haven’t fulfilled our love yet!

NICK: Well, I did —

SIMON: — you what??

JOHN: But she’s mine!

ANDY: What about me?

EVERYONE: NO.

LANE: ::coughcough:: now, boys… you mustn’t… fight about me… ::coughcoughLaTraviatacough::

ROGER: Oh, Lane, we’re sorry… at a time like this!

::everyone gathers around Lane’s bed. Except Andy::

LANE: That’s more like it… 😉

It’s as if she had access to my old Composition notebook. And I laughed so hard that B came in and insisted to know what was so funny. I tried to explain that he wouldn’t find it so amusing, and he was very disappointed. But as Darice quoted Jim Morrison, “The men don’t know, but the little girls understand.”

If I were 14 right now, I would probably be writing Beiber fic. He would cut his hair for me, in the only act that could save my life, showing his true love.