Posted in Uncategorized

Up in Arms

Doing an audition for stage is a lot more fun than TV or film.  With a stage audition you generally have a live audience of other wannabes, and I play a lot better to a crowd than to just one or two people.  Put me on a stage in front of a teeming mass, and I do a lot better than when you put me in a cold room, in front of a table with two casting directors and a video camera.  Doing a stage audition is a little bit like doing a performance, and I can tell myself to go out there and entertain the people.

The other great thing about a stage audition is that you get to watch everyone else.  If you like musicals, and you’re doing an audition that calls for a vocal, it’s like getting a free showing of some of your favorite songs.  It was a decent night for music, last night.  No one was terrible, and several people were quite good, so I got a great show.

I dorked out when it was my turn.  I had prepared one piece from Harry Connick, Jr., but in light of what everyone else was performing, decided to go with an actual Broadway number, and did an accapella version of Never Fully Dressed Without a Smile, from Annie.  If I’d just stood still and sung, it would have been a good performance, but I couldn’t stop my arms.  I had some crazy Matt Smith arms going on.  When I tried to put them down at my side, they were shaking visibly, so I–well, it is highly likely that I looked like a monkey on crack.

I belted the tune well enough, but managed to go Al Jolson on the last line.  Still not sure how that happened, but if nothing else, I was memorable.  Good, strong voice, terrifying body movements.  I hope that’s what the director was writing on my call sheet, not, “Woman is having a seizure–who let her in the door?”

When I finished, the director said, “…aaaand we got some choreography on that one.”  I tamed my elbows at that point, but giggled psychotically as I went back to my seat.

Then, they made me dance.

They made us dance, I should say.  All the actors got up and did a flap step, a shuffle step, a time step, a shuffle-ball-change step, and a flap-ball-change step.  I stood in the back and hoped I didn’t look too much like Frankenstein’s monster being threatened with fire.  AAARRGH!  shiffle shuffle  AAARGH! flap flap

After that, it was time to read.  We did groups of 4, and while I feel like I did read well, I also stomped on someone else’s line.  To my credit, it was a cold read.

So…  Good, strong voice + Decent vocal range + Good cold read – Insane body movement – psychotic laughter – overweight = Probably in the top 25% of my age group.  The good thing is that I have no delusions of being a Leading Lady.  I’m a Second Banana all the way.  I’d like to end up with a couple of lines, but I don’t harbor any great hopes of getting cast in a named part.  There are too few parts within my age/range wheelhouse, and I was not the best one there*.

We’ll see what happens.  The director said he wanted to cast within the week, but he may have to do callbacks.  I’m not going to cry if I don’t get called.  I’m just going to practice not waving my arms around.

As a reminder:

It’s your last day to enter the Subscriber Celebration Giveaway.


I’ll be drawing two names as winners tomorrow.  To get in on the drawing do one, or all of the following as many times as you like:

  1. Leave a comment on ANY entry from the blog
  2. “Like” the Facebook page
  3. Leave a comment on the Facebook page
  4. Share the blog from your Facebook, Twitter, or Blog (and leave the link in a comment on TOL or the TOL Facebook page)

Don’t go nuts, though.  If you leave 50 comments saying the same thing, you’re only getting one entry.

When I have 2 winners, I’ll pick some of my favorite things to fit the person.  I’d hate to send a guy a bunch of face cream.


*I did have the shiniest hair.

Posted in continuing education, Explaining the Strange Behavior

Exit Stage Left

To audition for community theater, or not?  All my excuses for not doing it have evaporated in the past year, or so.

I haven’t auditioned for any stage work since college.  The last stage audition I did was for Into the Woods, where I blew my 2nd callback.  It was one of those things where, while it was happening, I knew it was happening and I couldn’t stop it.  It was like hitting a bum note that you have to hold a while, and not being able to correct that sucker back into tune.  The director asked for a second interpretation of a delivery, and I did the EXACT SAME THING again.  Twice more.  I could not physically change my delivery and it was amazing in how awful it was.

The director and I were locked on each other’s eyes, and he was looking at me like I was some kind of bad American Idol audition joke, and I was looking at him like I knew it.  Train wreck.

I did get a part, but I turned it down because I chickened out.  I was afraid I was going to have another acting-stroke, only in front of the audience.

Since then, I’ve excused myself because either I was too busy, lived too far away from any theater, or had a very small child.  Now, I live 1/2 a mile from the theater, have the time, and my child is old enough to either sit and read during rehearsals, or hang out at home with Daddy–those are good excuses to cover up the reason:  I’m afraid I don’t have the chops anymore.  I’m afraid of being rejected.  I’m afraid of not being Meryl Streep–I shouldn’t be afraid of this because I have never been, nor will I ever be an actor of that caliber.

Anyway, since it’s fear that has kept me away, I think I should face it and get my butt down to the auditions in two weeks.  Worst case scenario, I freeze up and some people giggle at me behind my back.  Best case scenario, I get the part I want and spend the run of the show making people laugh.  Likeliest scenario, I earn a part in the ensemble, make a few new friends, and have a laugh myself.