Exit Stage Left

To audition for community theater, or not?  All my excuses for not doing it have evaporated in the past year, or so.

I haven’t auditioned for any stage work since college.  The last stage audition I did was for Into the Woods, where I blew my 2nd callback.  It was one of those things where, while it was happening, I knew it was happening and I couldn’t stop it.  It was like hitting a bum note that you have to hold a while, and not being able to correct that sucker back into tune.  The director asked for a second interpretation of a delivery, and I did the EXACT SAME THING again.  Twice more.  I could not physically change my delivery and it was amazing in how awful it was.

The director and I were locked on each other’s eyes, and he was looking at me like I was some kind of bad American Idol audition joke, and I was looking at him like I knew it.  Train wreck.

I did get a part, but I turned it down because I chickened out.  I was afraid I was going to have another acting-stroke, only in front of the audience.

Since then, I’ve excused myself because either I was too busy, lived too far away from any theater, or had a very small child.  Now, I live 1/2 a mile from the theater, have the time, and my child is old enough to either sit and read during rehearsals, or hang out at home with Daddy–those are good excuses to cover up the reason:  I’m afraid I don’t have the chops anymore.  I’m afraid of being rejected.  I’m afraid of not being Meryl Streep–I shouldn’t be afraid of this because I have never been, nor will I ever be an actor of that caliber.

Anyway, since it’s fear that has kept me away, I think I should face it and get my butt down to the auditions in two weeks.  Worst case scenario, I freeze up and some people giggle at me behind my back.  Best case scenario, I get the part I want and spend the run of the show making people laugh.  Likeliest scenario, I earn a part in the ensemble, make a few new friends, and have a laugh myself.