Category: Women Worth Knowing

Style, Women Worth Knowing

Women Worth Knowing: Meet Natalie Perkins

the outside lane

I talk a lot about style and fashion, and I speak from the perspective of someone who has been small enough to wear sample sizes, and large enough that I couldn’t shop at Express.  I know a thing or two about dressing a tiny, cute body, and a thing or two about dressing a larger, cute body.  What I know best of all is that it isn’t the size of the body making it cute, it’s the attitude wearing the body, wearing the clothes.  Nothing I like better than a sharp dressed attitude, so I was excited to find Natalie Perkins.

Jezebel.com introduced me to Brisbane native, Natalie Perkins, an artist (portfolio here), fashion blogger, and joy to behold.  Natalie came to my attention when Jezebel reposted her blog article about having become a focal point of a Facebook group dedicated to mocking larger bodies in skinny jeans.  Refusing to be bullied out of hers, Natalie took the gospel of greatness at any size into their group and invited them to get to know her as a human being, rather than throwing internet eggs at a nameless soul. Kindly and gently, and with excellent syntax probably wasted on that lot, Natalie suggested that hating her figure wasn’t the key to happiness, but that it could be found in learning to love one’s own.

What I love about Natalie’s blog and twitter feed is that she posts about style (fashion/home decor/art)  in a way that makes you feel like you could be just as much a bon vivant as she.  Rather than just drawing back the curtains to allow you a peek behind the runway into a world exclusive of you, she flings open the doors and invites you to experience the color and texture she found there.

Great fashion is about art, and art has nothing to do with your height, weight, hair color, or shoe size.  Great art has to do with passion.  Natalie is full of that.

Meet Natalie.

Name: Natalie Perkins
Age Range: On the cusp of my 30s
Preferred Job Title: Artist
Industry: Graphic design/ illustration

Who are you?
I’m Natalie, and I feel like I’m working out who I am every day. The things that characterise me are friendliness, my laugh, my real-world ditziness, and my passions for self acceptance and art. I was born in Brisbane, Australia and I’ve only really left this town on short trips interstate, but I’ve wanted to visit or even New York one day (something I’ve wished for since I was little!)

Describe your family:
My family is very big, welcoming and loud. We like to argue and laugh, and this can be a little bit intimidating for new people but we always want to include people and bring them in. We don’t shy away from hard issues, and I can credit my family for pushing me through some really awful mental health times.

What does the first hour of your day look like?

When I wake up I usually go into the bathroom and splash my face with water, then go and make myself a coffee. I sit down with emails and try to plan out the rest of my day. Sometimes I’ll eat toast (buttered with a little bit of strawberry jam) but it’s a struggle, I have never enjoyed eating in the mornings.

The last hour?
Preparing for bed usually consists of a hot Milo, some stuffing about watching tv or browsing the internet, and then I brush my teeth and wash my face.

What makes you feel successful?

Finishing a drawing that achieves the things I set out to achieve. Solving problems (usually visual/ spatial problems!) When I’ve been of assistance to people. Receiving praise!

What brings you joy?
I feel joy when marginalised people receive equitable treatment; when I’m formulating a creative plan (for a client or for my personal work); when I’m laughing with my friends and family; and when I am alone, working. Also… puppies! I am unapologetic about my love for dogs, and even though I can’t have one in the apartment I currently live in, I will lavish attention upon any puppy I see.

What women do you admire?

I admire my female friends and my Mum and Nana. I also admire countless many activists and artists: Beth Ditto, Nomy Lamm, Charlotte Cooper, Tori Amos, Marianne Kirby, Marian Bantjes, Hazel Dooney, Lesley Kinzel, Kate Harding, Sia Furler, Aimee Mann… I could go on forever!

What do you like best about your closest friend?

My closest friend is my husband. I love that he is open to discussing really sticky issues, and that he understands my need for alone time.

What do you like best about yourself?

I like that I am more concerned with personal growth and self awareness than I am with being wrong. I don’t mind admitting I have thought or said or done something hurtful because I am so mindful of all the things I don’t yet know in the world. I want to learn and be taught by people who know more than I do.

What advice would you give boys about girls?

Girls are human beings, boys are human beings. Girls don’t all exhibit the same behavioural traits, we are a gender that consists of billions of different, beautiful characteristics. Instead of assuming a woman will react a certain way, give her the opportunity to react how she wants.

How do you overcome adversity?

Adversity is so varied for everyone. In my life I have had access to a huge range of privileges (I’m white, middle-class, uni educated etc); I have had some very dark times that perhaps weren’t as awful because I did have certain privileges. I found that having a strong support network really helped me, and talking through problems was a key factor.

How do you want to be remembered?

I think I’d like people to remember me for being myself, to the full extent of my being, including all the nice and the not so nice bits. I want to have challenged people and nurtured unconventionality!

Learn more about Natalie here:
Blog: http://www.definatalie.com
Portfolio: http://www.natalieperkins.com

Women Worth Knowing

Women Worth Knowing: Meet Jill

the outside lane

Charlcye invited me to lunch one day to meet and welcome one of our coworkers from the Field.  Her name was Jill, and she was flying into Headquarters for the first time.  Part of our job was to make sure our partners in the Field knew how valued they were, and that we were there to make life easier for them.  Some people made that job more challenging than others, and then there were the team members like Jill, who made it a pleasure.

That also happens to be the best word to describe her.  Jill is an absolute pleasure.  She is a smiling, delightful, candidly happy woman, who more than lights up a room.  She lightens a room.  That is, she lifts the weight of the world from it with the effervescence of her spirit.  She is champagne in human form.

Jill is a good leader because you want to follow her.  Who wouldn’t want to follow her?  She is realistically optimistic, trustworthy, and knows her business.  If you’re asking her about numbers, you can take her answer to the bank.  If you’re asking her about people, you know she’s thought it through.  She gets results because she drives for them, but also because she makes you feel so darned good about being in the car with her.

When she responded with the answers to her profile questions, she added a little note.  I share it because it is an example of every communication I have ever had with her, professional or personal.  She builds up her contacts with sincerity and sweetness, and that makes her utterly irresistible.  Jill said, “I do remember flying into Dallas for a wedding in 2002, and I wanted to see the big [corporate headquarters.]  So Charlcye and you, and someone else met me, took me to lunch, and I got the star treatment tour. I remember thinking wow… These beautiful women are so cool and so nice ….weird!!! No cattiness and I was in love at first sight!! Aside from you and Charlcye always always always picking up your phone and emailing right back whatever I needed, you two really helped me grow and want to do well!”  See what I mean?  How could we not want to do anything in the world for her?

Meet Jill.

Name:  Jill

Age range: 30s but say forever 29.99 plus tax

Preferred job title: leader and trainer

Industry: retail retail retail

Who am I? I am a high-spirited sometimes misunderstood person that is always thirsty for change. I thrive on high stress and new adventures and am an organized mess.  I believe there is a reason for everything and all will turn out just fine… If not better. My eyes continue to strain to see things clearly for what they really are and I can find good in everything. Maybe in denial??

I believe in karma and God and I have lived a truly blessed life that I admit I did not even appreciate until I went on a medical mission to Rwanda Africa. Beautiful people!!

My family: I have an awesome husband, Kevin, of 14 years on 7-27 at 7pm, who stands by me in every crazy idea I come up with. My parents just this weekend retired and are moving to Indiana where they grew up and met.  Heartache! I am so Daddy’s little girl! They are fabulous parents who taught me my strong work ethic, respect for myself and others, and [they] never judge me!

I have a great stepson who is almost 18 and just received a full ride academic scholarship to Kentucky! Very proud!
I have 2 kitties that I took in as strays and we just got a puppy Hank who is in k-9 academy for 2 more weeks! Wish me luck…

First hour of the day: Procrastination and snooze button a few times! I dislike mornings! Mom said I was born at noon and truly that is when I would like to start my day 😉  The last hour is making my next to do list that never ends but I get great satisfaction from crossed out lines and check marks.  Maybe take my makeup off… Maybe not…

What makes me feel successful: Going home at the end of the day knowing I helped others and gave my best to my team and my customers.  Seeing others around me grow spiritually and professionally. I live to make people smile and feel appreciated.

What brings me joy: Red licorice, diet Pepsi, new pjs, not getting up early, pink cherry blossom trees.  African children with their ginormous smiles.  Opening up a door for someone who needs it, randomly paying for the car behind me in a drive thru anonymously.  Music music music! I heart music! I must have music playing at all times possible. Sometimes the song in my head doesn’t quite match up 🙂

What women do I admire:
Famous: I admire Oprah for speaking her mind and not waffling, for accepting what shape she may be at that moment and for changing the way I look at things.
I also admire my mom for working so hard and doing without so many gets so we could have nice things!

What do you like best about your closest friend: That she can pick up wherever we left off no matter length of time and not make me feel guilty.  For telling me the truth: yes you do have food in your teeth or a bat in the cove boogie 😉

What do you like best about yourself: I like that I can keep falling and keep getting back up again. I like that I am meeting new people who bring good into my life. I do like having green eyes.

What advice would you give to boys about girls? Always edify your mom and partner in front of anyone.
Always wear clean underwear when traveling, and it will stop hurting when the pain goes away.  Girls are like sourpatch gummies. Sweet on the inside if you give them time to melt 🙂

How do I overcome adversity: I [do it by having] confidence and by loving all kinds of people, striped, polka-dotted. Plaid doesn’t matter to me and I can get along with almost everyone…the ones I can’t .. I still try and pray for peace in their lives and I believe there is a reason deeper than I can see or know as to why they act the way they do .

How would you like to be remembered? With a big smile making a difference in my world close to me and far from me and that I never quit and gave up trying and learning.  As a great daughter, wife, stepmom, sister and friend.

Women Worth Knowing

Women Worth Knowing: Meet Velma

the outside lane

Velma, my father, and my mother. I’m in the picture too, but it would be about 7 more months before you could see me.

Velma was a fifteen-year-old from North Florida when she married Buford.  She had her only child a year later, a boy who would grow up to be my father.  Two years after that, in 1942, Buford was killed in a car accident.  At the age of nineteen, Velma was a widow.

She would marry twice more in rapid succession, ultimately ending up in Alabama with my Granddaddy, George.
In my mind’s eye, Granny is always dressed in a neatly pressed coral colored, sleeveless, cotton button-down shirt and matching gingham checked capri pants, her red hair perfectly bouffant in juxtaposition to the beads of perspiration dotting her upper lip and forehead as she works in that hotbox she called a kitchen.
Sometimes I can manage to put her memory in the metal rocker on the front porch, or at least sit her down in the dining room, but before I know it, she’s gotten up and she’s frying cornbread, or baking a cake, or putting ice water in a mason jar.
I probably know Granny’s backside better than I ever knew her front, having followed her up and down the length of that narrow space more times than I could tell you.
For most of her life, Granny worked in the cotton mills.  It was hard labor, done in bricked out buildings with no natural light or ventilation, long before OSHA or Workman’s Compensation.  By the time I came along, when she was 47, she was dealing with emphysema.  The chain smoking didn’t help.
She was working for J.C. Penney’s when my parents met, and she furnished her house using her employee discount and the layaway program.  Little by little, Velma plugged away at beautifying her home.  If she wanted something, she would put it on layaway, and pay it off a dollar at a time.  Clothes.  Shoes.  Handbags.  The plastic covered sofa in the living room.  The glass swans on the mantle.  She worked long and hard for everything she had.
We lived just down the hill from Granny while I was in kindergarten and first grade.  My father was in Okinawa, and we had moved home to be near Grandma and Boom, and Granny and Granddaddy.  Granny would pick me up from school every day and take me to the Magic Market for an Icee, and keep me at her house until Mom came to pick me up.
I thought she was the most beautiful, elegant grandmother in the world.  She was poised and graceful, and moved like a dancer.  I never heard her raise her voice–not even the time I stuck a straight pin into her backside.  She was all Avon jewelry, pretty shoes, and perfume to me.
She was not without her challenges.  Her ill-health made her very difficult at times, and for various reasons, we were not close for many years.  Thankfully, in the last two years of her life, we were able to connect and fall in love again.
Cancer had whittled her down to nothing, and to her dismay her hair had grown back as white as snow after chemotherapy, but she still walked like 40s runway model and though they hung on her, her clothes were always clean and pressed.
I really didn’t know her well enough to tell you too much about her, but I do know that she always wanted a bigger bustline.  At her viewing, before her funeral, I kept staring at her body.  Something wasn’t right.  I thought it might have been that she wasn’t wearing her glasses, or perhaps her hair wasn’t just right.  I stared and stared and couldn’t put my finger on it.  Then, as I was turning away, out of the corner of my eye it hit me.  Granny had a substantial rack!
The funeral home had stuffed a bra for her, I guess assuming she had died of breast and not lung cancer.  Granny had gone from wearing a training bra all of her life, to a full and lovely C-cup between the swells of which, her final nightgown dipped into a valley against her sternum.
She would have loved it.
Women Worth Knowing

Women Worth Knowing: Meet Krista

the outside lane

If you ever want to share a taxi in Las Vegas, I highly suggest finding out whether or not Krista would care to share it with you.  She’ll make the frustrating ride worthwhile with her quick wit.  Also, you could find much worse things to look at.  I tried not to let my staring be too obvious, but Krista is very pretty and I like looking at her.

Since I have known her, Krista has battled cancer and fought back from a near death hospitalization while holding down more than a full-time job, often under extremely stressful office circumstances, raising Greyhounds, dealing with a failing economy in a very depressed market of the U.S., and is newly single after an arduous struggle to save a long-term marriage.  And she has done all of this with grace, humor, and fantastic looking hair.

You want to know how good survival can look?  Look at Krista.

She is generous and loyal.  She is a hard worker.  She is effortlessly stylish.  She is unsinkable.

Meet Krista.

Name:  Krista Butala Chapman

Age Range:  Late 30’s (shhh… I will now stay this way forever. What?)

Job Title:  Creative Director – I make the pretty.

Industry:  Advertising/Media – I bleed CMYK


Who are you? I am recently divorced after a 16 year marriage and starting over in my late 30’s. How did THAT happen? My grandmother asked me last week “what are you going to do with the rest of your life?”

I think I became physically ill for about 10 minutes as I collected myself. As of this moment, I am not too sure where life is going to take me but I’m ready. Life, I’m driving a new car, hit it.

Describe your family: My family is all over the country and I count my close friends as family as well. From the each coast; East and West, the Midwest, the South, Southwest… the people I love are everywhere. Did I mention I have a 12/13 year old half sister? Yup. There’s a shock to my 30 something brain.

What is the last hour of your day like? My feet hit the floor at 5:30 am after I hit snooze about 3 times. I shower, beautify (as much as I feel is humanly possible on a day-to-day basis), dress and let my 2 small dogs out. Pack a lunch, drink a cup of coffee, pop my vitamins, have a smoke (I know, it’s bad for you) and bolt out the door for work. I am tired already.

The last hour? [The last hour of the day I] wash [my] face, brush teeth, change in to pj’s. I am in bed usually by 9-9:30 and will cuddle up with my dogs while I watch tv and drift off to sleep. I usually wake up in the middle of the night with a 10 lb italian greyhound on my face. She might be trying to smother me in my sleep, who can tell? Ooh. I am living on the EDGE!

What makes you feel successful? I find success in so many things, which surprisingly, doesn’t include my job. I’ve won awards and all those things but the simple fact that I wake up everyday, take a breath and know I’m still here after all I have been through? That is success.

What brings you joy? Ah joy. I have always said, you MUST find joy in all you do. Even the tiniest bit, otherwise it’s not worth doing. At this current time in my life, knowing I have employment, having my 2 dogs, a roof over my head, knowing people care about me, support and love me… that brings me joy.

What women do you admire? I admire my grandmother. She’s 86, has 5 children, a long time widow and to this day, she’s STILL feisty. She’s just always amazed me and she’s so damn strong. When I grow up. I want to be her. And the woman looks damn good for 86. They let me vent, scream, cry, laugh and have a damn meltdown and come back to my center without judging me… and all within a hour’s time span.

What do you admire about yourself? I think I admire my strength. I am one damn strong woman.

What advice do you have for boys? Oh [what advice do I have for] boys? Just listen. Communicate with us. Appreciate us.

How do you face adversity? I should be the poster child for adversity. Divorced parents, my mother almost died in an accident when I was 14, I put myself through college with very VERY little assistance, moved across the country alone, I’ve had cancer, I’ve almost died in surgery, been through divorce, worked my tush off to get where I am… yes. Adversity, I do not fear you anymore.

How would you like to be remembered? I would like to people just to remember how my face lights up when I smiled and that I truly loved.

Women Worth Knowing

Women Worth Knowing: Meet Pamela

the outside lane

Used with permission. Photo by Jason Wesley Upton.

I started reading Pamela Ribon’s recaps of The Gilmore Girls on Television Without Pity several years ago. She never failed to make me laugh. Liking to laugh and being a nosy thing, I followed a link to her blog and spent many happy hours catching up on her world. Then, I started following her on Twitter. It was like making a friend, only she was an imaginary friend since she had no idea I existed. I will not lie. I have fantasized about how much fun it would be to hang out with Pamie at the Krystal Burger or the Krispy Kreme. I don’t know why, but all my BFF fantasies about Pamie have to do with fast food. Wait. Yes, I do. Ha!

Over the years, I have emailed Pamela Ribon (I can only call her Pamie if I am in the throes of a BFF fantasy, otherwise, she is Pamela Ribon) and been fangirl giddy when she responded. I wrote her once just to tell her how much I enjoyed her blog. Then I wrote her to get more information on Pamela’s annual book drive the Dewey Donation System. I wrote her to say congratulations when she started writing for Samantha Who?, and again to say bravo when she was leading a strike team during the 2007 WGA strike. When I picked up this project again, I thought, “Oh my gosh…Pamie! My BFF Pamie would be so good for this!” Then I remembered Pamela Ribon wouldn’t be able to pick me out of a crowd with a pink carnation, so I wrote to her again with fingers and toes crossed, knowing she was very busy with her latest book release. I named dropped my high school chum, Laura House, hoping that would help sway her.

Graciously as ever, she responded, and I’ve been teasing you with her profile ever since.

Pamela’s latest publication is Going In Circles, a book about friendships and finding your way out of heartache through, well, ass-ache. I just finished it last night, and it is every bit as good as her other books.

Along with being a sitcom writer, novelist, blogger, twitterer, former television recapper, activist, and philanthropist, Pamela is a Roller Derby girl. Isn’t she exactly the sort of woman you want to know? She is.

Meet Pamela.

Name: Pamela Ribon, aka Pamie, aka Wonder Killer
Age Range: I just turned 35 and I don’t understand how that happened.
Preferred Job Title: Writer, performer, derby girl, professional silly person.
Industry: Your television and your bookshelves.


How did you come to writing as a profession?
I hustled. Oh, Internet. You used to be so much smaller. I wrote a “web diary” back when people couldn’t understand why other people would willingly read the words of strangers on the Internet. And upon that, I built my empire! In all seriousness, I seized every opportunity I could find. At one point I was performing six shows a week in a comedy club, writing a weekly tech-humor column for the Austin American-Statesman, wrote the dub scripts for Japanese anime, updated my personal site every day, and at two in the morning I would write recaps for Television Without Pity (which back then was known as Mighty Big TV). Oh, and I had a full-time job doing tech support for IBM. I do not understand when I slept.

As the freelance work became more consistent, I was able to support myself through writing alone…as long as I maintained at least six active jobs at all times.

It occurs to me that I still, twelve years later, have never held just one single job. I moved out to Los Angeles in 2000 and started the hustle all over again. I was lucky enough to find a few very supportive agents, and within a few years I’d sold my first novel, a screenplay (based on that novel), and landed my first television gig on a pilot for Oxygen that you never saw.

I consider myself very lucky to work in an industry that spends 99.9% of its time saying “no.”

Where do you draw inspiration?
I have a hard time drawing inspiration from anything other than my life. If I don’t see myself in the situation, or know how I’d react to it, it doesn’t feel real to me. I wouldn’t know what to say about it. This is probably what keeps me from the entire vampire phenomenon. I don’t know how to imagine myself in a world filled with immortal blood-drinkers. If only Twilight was about klutzy people who dance uncontrollably whenever they hear “Shake Your Rump” by the Beastie Boys. There’s a genre I can embrace.

How much research goes into a novel?
I often quote my literary agent when this question arises. A few years ago, I think right after the second novel was published, she smiled and asked, “So what terrible thing are you going to have to go through in order to get your next novel?”

Describe your family: I can’t do that succinctly, so I will direct you to 320 pages of answers in a novel called “Why Moms Are Weird.”

What does the first hour of your day look like?
Make coffee during the following: Feeding two cats (give insulin injection to one cat) and last night’s dishes. Coffee. Daily Show during: email, Twitter, Facebook, Words With Friends, more coffee, and then “Oh, crap. Did I forget to brush my teeth?”

The last hour?
I either fall asleep with a book in my hand or in the middle of laughing about something that probably won’t seem as funny in the morning.

What makes you feel successful?
When someone I don’t know tells me about something I wrote that made them feel something they’ve been struggling to understand.

What brings you joy?
The people I love in places I love. Travel. Karaoke. French fries. David Sedaris.

What women do you admire?
Mary Tyler Moore, Carol Burnett, S.E. Hinton, Carole King, Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Ellen DeGeneres, Fiona Apple, Tara Ariano, Cori Stern and of course: Oprah.

What advice would you give boys about girls?
The fact that they might be smarter than you is a good thing. Never make them feel small.

How do you overcome adversity?
Without adversity, I wouldn’t be anywhere. Since I was very little I only wanted to do the things I was told I couldn’t do. Not *shouldn’t*, like touch a hot stove or something. I’m still very observant of rules and laws. But if someone ever told me something was “too hard” or “extremely unlikely,” that’s when I went at it full-force.

How do you want to be remembered?

This question is so morbid! But you know, obviously I want to be remembered. Why else would I have written half of my life down for people to see? For strangers to judge? But I can’t actually think about someone I love missing me because it makes me too sad. I can’t even handle how much my mom misses me right now even though we got off the phone about an hour ago.

Fondly. I want to be remembered fondly. And that something I said or did or wrote makes them laugh right when they need to most.