Posted in Friends of Mine, Women Worth Knowing

Meet Miss Pistol

I tell you what, I know some of the most interesting people in the world.  I am just lucky that way.  And you’re lucky because I like introducing people.  I should really get back to work on the Women Worth Knowing Project, but while I am procrastinating about that, I can’t let you miss Miss Pistol.

I was sitting in a training session for work, talking with a colleague, only to find out that she is the owner/operator of the Miss Pistol Ladies Gun Club and Concealed Handgun Training school.  I was giddy and squirmy because I secretly enjoy shooting at things, but I know that’s not politically correct or ladylike, and so often you say “gun” only to have someone shout “control!”  I don’t like shooting at people or animals, and I don’t like video game shooting, but I love nailing targets.  I begged for an air rifle until I got one for my 12th birthday, and I spent a lot of time making my own targets and shooting at cans.

Meet Miss Pistol.

From her website, Miss Pistol says:

I didn’t even hold a real gun in my dainty little hands until my early twenties when I first started living alone. I did do some damage with a bb gun when I was a kid but that’s another story. My dad let me borrow his handgun to try and keep me out of harms way. When I got it home, I literally picked it up with my index finger and my thumb, like you would a dead rat, and gingerly placed it in my nightstand. I felt safer but I worried about it. What if “harms way” literally knocked on my door or worse… barreled through it? The most I would have probably done was point the gun at him for a few seconds until he figured out I was more scared of the gun than him and just snatch it from me.

Luckily for me, my boyfriend wouldn’t leave me alone about learning how to use my dad’s gun, and was a willing and able tutor. He took me to the gun range for the first time and taught me how to handle a gun safely and how to shoot it. He even paid for me to get a Texas Concealed Handgun License, and shortly thereafter, I bought my own gun. In learning how guns work I’ve learned to respect their power yet not be too scared of them anymore. I’m confident in my shooting accuracy and feel safe knowing my gun can help me protect myself if ever needed.

I’m always so amazed at how my girl friends are astonished that I carry a gun, and it finally dawned on me that that many girls (and even men) aren’t as lucky as I am. They may not have grown up around guns, or maybe don’t have friends that could help them out. If they are independent and brave enough to try to learn about guns on their own they are bound to walk into a world filled with confusing terminology, acronyms, and scary looking fellows that could not get on a beginners level if they tried!

Not any more. Every post on is guaranteed to be clear and concise without using confusing terminology or acronyms. You’ll find helpful images and videos to make learning easy. Together we’ll remove the fear and fog surrounding guns, and have fun doing it!

Tell me this doesn’t look like an awesome gun club!

I know guns are a loaded issue.  They should be.  Guns should be taken very seriously, and gun safety should be taken very seriously.  (I was thinking about that watching Once Upon a Time, last week.  I wonder how many people have accidentally shot someone, copying media interpretations of gun-handling?)  Harm’s Way has come barreling through my door before, and I did have access to a gun, but I was afraid to touch it back then.  My situation was resolved when one of my home invaders chickened out and ran, and the others ran after him, but it could very easily have gone the other way.  Even the 9-1-1 operator was concerned that I wasn’t armed to defend myself.  That’s why I am glad for women like Miss Pistol, who are striving to make it safer for women to arm themselves.

I intend to sign up for her December CHL class so I can learn properly.  And then I’m joining that gun club and I’m going to go shoot at things!  (Like her nifty Flower Power targets–because I really don’t enjoy shooting at shapes of people.  I don’t even want to shoot paper people.)

Follow Miss Pistol on Twitter

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Posted in boot camp best, Explaining the Strange Behavior, Women Worth Knowing

I’d Do Me

I want this blog entry to be really special.  Because, if you’re a new reader who has come over from the Nickelodeon Parents Connect site and hit the “previous posts” button, it is likely that this will be the blog entry you read, and I want you to enjoy yourself here. 

I started blogging with a LiveJournal in December of 2001.  I had met this guy I really liked, and I wanted him to like me.  He had an LJ, and I hoped that if I started one, I could catch and keep his interest.  It worked well enough that he married me, and seems to still like me.  He still reads my blog after ten years.  That’s something!

I drove all my LJ friends berserk with journaling my wedding (2 out of 4 bridesmaids have confirmed I was bridezilla.  The other 2 said I was just fine, but they might just have been afraid of me.)  Eleven months after that hoopla died down, I started driving readers further nuts with journaling my pregnancy.  My first Mommy Blog was born five months into the pregnancy, and I kept up with Mommie Diarist until just before Thor (the nickname our son has had since his first sonogram) started Kindergarten–he learned to read, and I didn’t want to embarrass him by keeping a totally Thor-centric blog. 

I started To The 9s, a fashion/style/etiquette based blog, while I was working for a staffing agency.  The impetus for that being the number of job candidates I was seeing, who showed up for interviews wearing dirty, wrinkled, extremely casual attire, including flip-flops, and the coworker who never bothered to dry her hair before coming in to work. 

I kept up with that through the chronicles of my Exotic Dance Class, a diet, and the gutting depression that came with having made a very bad decision to change jobs.  The Women Worth Knowing project came out of those days as well. 

I started thinking about the wonderful women I knew all across this world, and wanted to introduce them to one another.  I created a profile Q&A and sent it off to various and sundry, and started posting those as a means of highlighting women who were successful in their endeavours at home, in the workplace, and in the world.  You can read the archives here and join the Facebook group here.  Eventually, I’ll start updating again.  I know some really amazing women.

To the 9s went the way of the Dodo, and when I was ready to start blogging again, it became The Outside Lane.  Part mommy-blog, part human interest blog, part fashion/music/movie reviews blog, part soapbox, part therapy, all me.  I have no idea how you would market this thing.  It’s very…diverse?  I hope it’s diverse and not just scattered.  I write about what I find interesting.  I write the topics of conversation I’d like to have.  I like to think the common thread is my personal sense of humor, and I like to think that comes across whether I’m shaking my tiny fist of rage, or shaking my booty.

If you’re here from Nickelodeon’s Parents Connect, then you’ve come by way of the Sexy Mama Bootcamp.  If you’re looking for advice on how to be sexy, the best I can give you is to fall in love with yourself. 

And buy one of these t-shirts.  If you wear one of these t-shirts, you will be totally sexy.  Trust me.  I’m an expert.

Posted in Explaining the Strange Behavior, Uncategorized, Women Worth Knowing

What I’ve Been Doing…

I’ve been busy, busy working on new “art” for The Outside Lane’s cafepress store. Remember that through April 30th, half of all profits will benefit the Dallas Area Rape Crisis Center.

I’m working on a line of “motivational products.” Well…as motivational as you get from a girl like me. Things like this:

And this:

And attempting to capitalize on the moment for charity:

And another, lovingly hand drawn with Sharpie Girl Power product:

If you’d like one of these items in a different format (stickers, mugs, underwear) let me know. I’ll make it happen as best I can.

Posted in Howling Sea Lane, Inside Lane, Lancient History, Women Worth Knowing

Why WWK Is Supporting the Rape Crisis Center

I’ve made no secret about the fact that I was date raped when I was 21. That’s actually how I lost my virginity. You want to talk about awful first time experiences…sheesh.

To this day I have a lot of confusion about what happened and what to call the events that transpired. My own intellectual knowledge that “no means no,” and “NOOOOO means NOOOO,” gets muddied with the common response to the call of rape: What was she wearing? Had she been drinking? Where was she? What time of night was it? Did she struggle? Was she a tease?

I was wearing a black velvet catsuit and a gold smoking jacket with black velvet lapels and some really, super cute shoes. I’d had a glass of wine. I was in the boy’s bedroom. It was close to 2am. Once I realized it was going to happen no matter what I said, or how loudly I said it, I think I must have quit struggling–I don’t know. I’ve blacked that out. I do know Information Society was playing on the radio–maybe that’s why I blocked it out. I never liked that band.

Was I a tease? No. I’d been very frank about what I would and would not do. I was perfectly happy to do anything that could not result in pregnancy, and was precise about what acts that might include. The boy seemed quite pleased with the deal.

I didn’t tell my mother because I was afraid she would kill the boy, and then I’d have a mother in jail. I did not go to the police because of the above. I didn’t figure anyone would believe me. I am exactly the kind of girl This Cop was talking about. Maybe I wasn’t dressed like a “slut” but we can all be realistic about how I would be viewed based on dress, drinking, and willingness to do some if not “it”.

My Great-Aunt is a different story. And her story is much more to the point.

Aunt N was in her 80s when a man broke into her house to beat and rape her. He accomplished his goal.

I have no idea what she was wearing at the time, but I’m pretty sure it involved Granny Panties, not a visible thong. I highly doubt she’d been drinking. She was in her own home, in bed, in the middle of the night–right where she belonged. And she fought as much as an octogenarian can. Given her nature, I can assure you that she was not a tease.

Rape has nothing to do with what you wear, your state of mind, where you are, what time it is, whether you fight, or whether you’ve ever had sexual relations with your attacker.

Rape has nothing to do with YOU.

Rape has to do with the Rapist.

Rape isn’t something you bring on yourself.

Rape isn’t something that you do to yourself.

Anyone who has been raped will tell you how unpleasant it is–it isn’t something anyone would court.

Rape isn’t flattering.

Rape isn’t a compliment.

Rape isn’t a judgment.

Rape is an attack, a violation, and a crime–it is nothing positive, and it is nothing you can force anyone to do to you. You cannot MAKE someone RAPE.

Rape is not a reaction.

Rape is only an individually driven action. It is a purpose driven action.

I support, and have put the WWK project’s support behind the Dallas Area Rape Crisis Center because I’ve been there and I know. And because women and men, girls and boys who are hurt need help. They need to know there is a safe place to go, where people will believe them, and help them. Help them understand that the problem isn’t THEM.

The problem is, and only ever will be the Rapist.

Raise your kids to respect themselves enough that they would think it beneath them to take something not freely given. Raise your kids to respect other people enough that they wouldn’t dream of taking what wasn’t clearly offered. That’s how you deal with rape.

Posted in Friends of Mine, Women Worth Knowing

Friends of Mine

Sorry for the radio silence. I’ve been editing and reliving my youth.

Me singing along to Friends of Mine--shouting along, really.
A bunch of my girlfriends and I hauled ourselves up to Oklahoma to see Duran Duran play at the Winstar Casino on Friday night. As I’ve said, I haven’t been to a Duran Duran show since 1989, so I was pretty excited. Excited enough that I dodged a barricade and got right up against the stage, where I commenced to bopping around like the person I thought I was too cool to be when I was 17. Pffff. I’m not cool and no one cares anyway. I’m going to dance and sing along!

I did. In 5″ heels.

The show was great. The band sounded fantastic, and looked better than they have in years. There wasn’t a lot of audience engagement or excitement from the band (until the encore), which made it feel a bit like watching a pre-taped show, but the band had also just come from SXSW and had apparently had a miserable struggle against traffic to make it to the OK venue. The sound was good enough that the rest really didn’t matter. I am so glad I did it! So glad I went.

In general, I dislike live shows. They don’t usually sound as good as I want them to, and I also dislike being shoved and battered by overzealous fans. You have to be polite people. John Taylor doesn’t want to marry you now. He especially won’t if you have blood all over your shoes and pants legs after trampling half of Dallas to get to him. Not a good look.

I made it half the show up at the stage, got all the photos I wanted, then enjoyed the expressions of surprise as I salmoned my way away from the band and back to where most of my friends were sitting. I spent the last half of the show dancing with my girlfriends and having more fun than I’ve had in ages. I know some delightful girls.

Some photos for you:

I tried to get everyone, but the drums and keyboards are backlit half the time, so it’s very difficult to get any good shots of Roger or Nick. And Roger’s hidden anyway. But those are nice, and I did have a great time. Did I mention the great time?

Saturday morning was the Women Worth Knowing event, and you can find video of Charlcye’s fantastic session over on the brand spanking new More to come on that site as I am able to edit old content into the new digs.

Saturday evening, I met up with girlfriends again to have dinner at Palomino’s. I’d never been there before, but was very impressed. The food was lovely.

Now, I am recuperating from the festivities, having gotten home between midnight and 2am all weekend.

Back to regular blogging next week. Hope your weekend was as much fun as mine!