Category: Uncategorized

I found my new hobby.

I listen to NPR on my commute, and regularly find myself thinking, “I know what that is, but I don’t know anything about it.”  Take NATO for example.  I know what NATO is, know what it does, and have some idea of how it came about, but it’s all very nebulous and indistinct.  I want to be an informed citizen, so I need to know more than just what the acronym stands for, right?  Or at least what the acronym stands for–especially since I had it wrong.  North Atlantic Treaty Organization, not North er-um-er Treaty Organization.

Unable to find anyone willing to play with me, I abandoned an idea for further self-education decades ago, and dove headfirst into zealotry instead.  I am no longer a zealot, but am still very curious, so I am reconstructing the old idea to fit into the 21st Century.

The old idea was to take four subjects monthly (an artist, a scientist, a political figure, a religious figure), study them out and keep myself an index file.  In 1991, that would have meant a lot of time at the library.  In 2012, it means filling the celebrity void left in my internet usage with meaningful reading.

Now, I intend to take four subjects monthly, study them out, then blog a summary of what I find most relevant or interesting about them.  Instead of limiting myself to public figures, I’ll be looking at whole categories.  When considering art, it might be an artist, or it might be a movement.  It might be one specific work.  I will consider art, history, geography, science, and politics for now, and I’m starting with that mental list I’ve made from NPR reports.

For the rest of January, I will be looking at the history of NATO–I’m counting that as politics.  I’m already reading about Catherine the Great, and I’ve been nibbling at the Tudor Dynasty–counting as history.  I’m looking at Russian geography, the science behind the Small Pox vaccination, and am going to consider art depicting military feats from 1770–1800.

In other words, some of my posting will be great bloody bores!  Unless you’re into that sort of thing.

Shout out to Zendictive, whose comments always make me smile.

Even CNN is trying to tempt me to break my No Celebrity Gossip resolution.  Fie on them!  I will not fold!

I am not sure whether to be amazed or embarrassed by the amount of time I now realize I was spending on [specifics redacted because I had just typed way too much information about other people’s drama.]  I think embarrassed is the right way to go, and once the shock wears off, I’m sure I will be.  Meanwhile, I am simply agog at how very little I have to do on the internet now.  I check gmail, check facebook, read my comics and…then go back to my books.

I picked up a new one this morning, and by “picked up” I mean I added one to my Kindle.  I heard Connie Rice, cousin of the former Secretary of State by that same last name, on NPR, talking about her book about her struggles both against and with the LAPD in efforts to build a strong, healthy community.  Had to have it.  As soon as I finish Catherine the Great (whose reign’s naval prowess is impressing me just now) I’ll start on that one.  From one strong, world changing leader to another.  Impressive women.

I’m told that if I want to succeed in establishing myself as a blogger worth reading, I need to pick a topic and stick with it, becoming an expert in it.  Oops.  Never going to happen.  I can’t even stick with a hobby longer than it takes to master it, then I’m off to the next.  In fact, I’m due a new one.  Wonder what it’s going to be?

I’ve done it.  Fait accompli.  All of my clothes–every stitch of them–now fit neatly into my chest of drawers and my closet.  With some wiggle room.  However, Thor’s are a different story.  Ha!  Granted, that has a lot to do with growth spurts and a Grandma, but I still have a lot of work to do on his wardrobe.  And, I want to do more work on mine.  I’ve already started a new charity bag.

I need to tidy up a little more before bed, then, I think I’ll sleep like a log.

It’s been a full day’s work, and I’m not close to finished, but after taking ten 13-gallon bags STUFFED with clothes to the donation site, I am confident that I have met my goal of being able to contain all of my clothing in half a closet and one chest of drawers.  Go team me!

Tonight, I am going through my troves of sleepwear and culling out that massive stash.  You see, the problem isn’t that I buy a lot.  The problem is that I am easy on my clothes, so just about everything I own is in nice condition, no matter how old it is.  In fact, one of the shirts I am keeping is–dare I admit it?  20 years old.  B likes it on me, so it gets to stay.

How that matters where sleepwear is concerned is that my sleepwear is in even better condition, as it is only ever slept in.  So I have scads of fluffy, pretty things that are so fluffy and pretty it is hard to part with them.  Kind of like the shoes (which go to their new home tomorrow).  It doesn’t hurt that back in the thin days, I always bought size large because I liked to swim in my clothes, so everything still fits.  However, I have given myself the two drawers in the bottom of our platform bed to house my sleepwear, and I am way out of room.  Time to move on.  Time to share the relative wealth.

Way too much laundry to do, but once it is done and everything is put away, it’s just maintenance.  Maintenance is easier than organization.

Organization is a pain!

I have found my time in therapy to be very fruitful.  I am drawing to a close on this aspect of it, feeling like I’ve gotten enough out of my time to focus less on rooting out the causes of my behaviors, and more time focused on behaving differently.  I had goals going in, I have met them, and now I am going to live better.  Part of that living better is letting go of stuff.

I grew up surrounded by stuff, and I don’t think I was even aware of it until I started watching Thor’s environment clutter up.  And the more stuff he amasses, the less he plays with–almost as if he is stifled or confused by the options.  Or, like he’s forgotten he has X,Y,Z because he can’t see them in the toybox.  When I’ve finished my decluttering, he’s next.

I have a picture, somewhere, of me sitting in a landfill looking pile of clothes and stuff (not trash, just shirts, and jeans, and dresses, and nightgowns, and books, and boxes, and records, and shoes, and dolls, and…ugh.)  Stephanie Black had come over to organize my life (having been the most organized person I’ve ever encountered to this day) and was shocked by the number of articles of clothing I owned.  I’m going to have to find that picture to post because you just wouldn’t believe me if you didn’t see it–also, because I used to be ashamed of it, and it was really nothing to be ashamed of.  I was overwhelmed by the amount myself, and was so buried by the emotional mass of it all that I was paralyzed against making a dent in it.

–I know exactly which photo album it is in, I just don’t know if the photo album is in storage–

Stuff was how my mother showed me she thought I was worthwhile.  Money was how my father showed me.  Where it got hairy was when Mom spent frivolously on me, and Dad protested.  I might not have needed (or even particularly wanted) everything I got, but my understanding was that in being Gifted, I was being Loved by both parents at the same time–something that I can count on one hand ever feeling outside of being given a gift–so I learned to crave Stuff.  Stuff filled a void in me.

You might say I was raised to speak Gifts as a love language, and Loads of Stuff became my slang.  I certainly wasn’t raised to speak Acts of Service.  I did know Words of Affirmation.  I still like those.  Tell me I’m awesome!  (Another area in which I am repairing myself, is in believing people when they say they like me, or think I’m nifty.  Previously, I either thought they were just lying to be kind, or that they wanted something and would dump me as soon as they got it.)

I just wasn’t very healthy 6 months ago.  Now, I would call myself pretty darn good.  I have decided what I want to be when I grow up, have decided that it is okay to want that, and am actually pursuing it.  I have decided how I want to live and am living that way.  I have decided which relationships are edifying to me, and I have culled out those that caused me hurt.

And, I am culling out my Stuff.  I have implemented Phase One of Austerity Lane Style, and I’ll tell you more about it later.  For now, I need to go get Thor a drink of water, and see if his next loose tooth is ready to pull.  Here’s hoping he learns to speak every language of love in equal measure.