I just sent my mother back to surgery, and am sitting in a terribly uncomfortable chair in a waiting room, waiting. The good news is that I have a fully charged iPad, a bluetooth keyboard, and there is free coffee. It’s funny how much hospitals have changed since I was a candy striper. It’s funny how much technology has changed since then. In 1985, the only waiting room entertainment you got was an old National Geographic, and me. I think the chairs were more comfortable, though.
For now, I’m going to plug in my headphones and close my eyes.
Valarie thought it would be fun to hear what Destinee Faith Miller had to say about the Miss Universe 2013 pageant, and I agreed. However, after trying to “interview” her about it, I found myself getting into a truly crazy-making philosophical argument with her about feminism and body image. You try arguing with an imaginary person you invented out of your own head. No interview. Instead, here is a nice little blog entry where Destinee gives you the run down on the Top 5 finalists of the competition, with a bonus look at Miss USA.
Hey, y’all! I am so excited to be here on The Outside Lane today. I am your pageant-insider look at the Top 5 finalists of the Miss Universe 2013 pageant. Miss USA did not make the Top 5, so we’ll be looking at her separately, and considering what took her out of the running.
The Top 10 Finalists.
The last ladies standing were Miss Brazil, Miss Ecuador, Miss Philippines, Miss Spain, and Miss Venezuela. As you can see, the competition was fierce. From the swimsuit competition, the ladies go on to evening gown, where they are whittled down to 5, then they hit their marks for interview. No one knows better than I do how quick an interview question can kill your shot at the crown! But, a bad evening gown can hurt you, too.
Let’s take a look at the Top 5, with their National Costumes, Evening Gowns, and their Interview answers. I must apologize for the shoddy quality of the photographs. Lane does not share my dedication to perfection, and said I was just lucky to have photographs at all.
Miss Brazil, here, was your 4th Runner Up. I thought her National Costume was inspired–maybe inspired by my ideas for the Tiny Miss Proverbs 31 pageant! While I loved the colors, the chest piece, and the headdress, I felt like the skirt took away from the overall quality. It wasn’t flattering at all.
Her evening gown was too much like lingere for me. I did like the sparkles, but the dusky rose color and the fabric looked like Eva Gabor’s favorite negligee. If you can picture it showing up on Green Acres, you shouldn’t find it on a runway.
Her interview went like this…
Question: What is your opinion in places that do not allow women to vote, or drive cars?
Answer: Good evening everybody! In my opinion, we as women achieved our independence through time. Unfortunately nowadays we still have problems with our independence. But we need to keep our open minds because nowadays we are homemakers, part of a work force. We are capable of everything.
Now, if you ask me, she didn’t answer the question. What’s she asking us to keep open minds about? Is she asking us to keep open minds about people who think we can’t drive in our high heels, or vote with our tiny pea brains? That’s a bad answer. She should have talked about how God endowed us all with certain unalienable rights, and the right to vote is one of them. She should have said how women’s voices need to be heard in order for us to have equality and justice in our governments, and how women ought to be able to drive themselves down to the polls so that they can take part in what makes their countries great. God, country, and a pretty smile–she’d have placed a lot higher if she’d done like that.
4th was about right for her, I think.
Miss Philippines placed 3rd. That girl was stunning! She had the most beautiful hair, which she wore down straight for most of the competition. I just loved her hair. Her National Costume? Not so much. It looked like she’d chased a chicken around the yard for a hat, then grabbed one of the bridesmaid dresses out of her old maid aunt’s closet. It looked two sizes too big, and the color did nothing for her beautiful complexion.
I’d say the same of her evening gown. It was a lovely, flattering, structured gown and it moved beautifully, but the color was terrible.
Her interview went like this…
Question: What can be done about the lack of jobs for young people starting their career around the world?
Answer: I do believe we should invest in education and that is my primary advocacy. … Education is a primary source and a ticket for better future.
She actually gave a much more detailed answer about education, but I can’t find more than that up there. I thought she did an excellent job, but she didn’t answer her question either. What she did do is manage to turn her answer to her primary advocacy and make a passionate cry for funding it. The problem is, getting more education just means more educated people who don’t have jobs. They asked her about fixing the job market, and she answered with sending more people to school.
I really expected her to place higher because she was so pretty and poised. I truly believe a better gown would have gotten her at least to 2nd Runner Up, possibly even to 1st. I kind of feel like she belonged up there based on her looks and poise, but her boring National Costume and that chartreuse evening gown did her in.
Miss Ecuador took 2nd Runner Up. Look at that National Costume! That’s about as perfect as it gets. It’s glamorous, it’s sexy, but it isn’t at all trashy–Miss Great Britain is an example of how National Costume can get trashy right quick if you aren’t careful. Oh, I just love that costume! I wish so hard she had gone with that royal blue for her evening gown. That just flattered her complexion so beautifully!
Instead, we get another cast off from Eva Gabor’s boudoir. I don’t know why girls wear that old lady, seafoam green. It’s a pretty color, but it has no energy, no zip, and just looks like a day lounging on the chaise with your Bichon and your manservant. Miss Universe has to have energy. She’s got a lot to do.
Her interview question went thusly…
Question: What would happen to the world if we could no longer use the internet?
Answer: Tech has disadvantages – we are no longer close with our families. We use the methodology of computers and internet for the positive. It is never too later to start. Let’s start now.
Answers like that make me wonder how many translators have been paid off to ruin a girl’s chances. That answer was awful. Not as bad as the terrible answer I gave that one time, but nigh on unintelligible. That answer really should have dropped her back further in the rankings, at least to 3rd Runner Up. The fact that it just dinged her to 2nd tells me that if she’d done a better job with her interview, she’d have been serious competition for the crown.
I do love some fringe. The judges must have too because here is 1st Runner Up, Miss Spain. I’ll tell you right here and now, once Miss USA was out of the running, Miss Spain was my pick of the pack–but I knew she wouldn’t win. She was too sweet looking to win–didn’t have enough edge to her. I thought she had the prettiest, brightest smile, and she was poised and graceful without looking haughty. And also, fringe! I just loved her National Costume.
I loved her evening gown, too. It looked a lot prettier in motion than it does in the still pictures, but when she was walking it was just divine. It fit her perfectly and flattered her skin tone better than any other gown in the Top 5. I loved that pinky-champagne bodice, and you know how I feel about sparkles. Y’all, I just loved her! And I think she would have won, too, but…
Her interview question went like this:
Question: What is the most significant thing we can do help elect women to political offices around the world?
Answer: In order to select a good woman, she must posses good qualities in order to do a good job – discipline, knows how to adapt… so she can fulfill her job.
Y’all. That question is so easy, and I’ll bet you money that Miss Philippines was just mad as a hornet that she didn’t get that one. THAT is the question you answer with Education! And you tie that in with that little Malala girl, who got shot for wanting to go to school. You answer that by saying that there are little girls who are willing to risk their lives, standing up to terrorists for an education so that they can learn and lead the next generation into peace and prosperity, so the most significant thing we can do to help elect women to political offices around the world is educate girls and young women, and offer them opportunities for higher learning, and advocate internships or something like that. I’d have knocked that one out of the park! And she should have. It wouldn’t have mattered if she had, though, because once it was down to those 5, the winner was clear.
And, I can’t be too mad because Miss Universe 2013, Miss Venzuela, is a showstopper. You look at her posture, how she holds her shoulders and the tilt of her chin. That girl is a professional, and that is what confidence looks like. How could you not give her the crown? It just looks like it belongs on her head by sheer force of her own confident will. Are you going to crown sweet little Princess Spain, or the clear Queen of the Universe Venezuela?
Now, her National Costume’s colors horrified me. She looked like she fell into a vat of My Little Pony cake mix, but that girl can flat wear a hat. As awful as her colors were, the costume itself fit her like a glove, and she wore the fire out of it. That would have overpowered a lesser woman. I do just love how she wears a hat.
When I first looked at her evening gown, I didn’t think much of it, but now I find myself admiring it. It is white without being bridal, and structured without looking restrictive. I like how it is sort of space-aged, and how the beading harkens back to the art deco days, and I do love a well executed long sleeve. I did not like how obvious the modesty panel was, and I hated her shoes. Those are shoes you’d find in Tishelle Tucker’s closet.
Her interview question went like this…
Question: What is your biggest fear and how do you plan to overcome it?
Answer: We should overcome all our fears and this in turn would make us stronger. As soon as we overcome our fears, we can face any challenge.
I honestly wasn’t sure that she understood the question, and thought she was just lucky that Spain had blown her answer, and Philippines had such an ugly colored dress. I don’t think she’d have lost the contest either way because she was just head and shoulders above the competition, but you want your beauty queens of her caliber to win by a landslide, not muddling through an interview question that was actually the easiest of the night. That was an excellent opportunity for her to showcase her charm and wit–but maybe she doesn’t have any. I don’t know. I’d have said, “Why, Judge, my greatest fear is messing up an interview question like this!” Then, I’d have smiled brilliantly and dipped my chin while the audience laughed, and I’d have followed up with a serious face and said, “The only way we can overcome our fears is by powering through to the other side of them. We cannot allow fear to hinder our progress–that is how the greatest nations in the world have come into prosperity. We must face our fears and conquer them, so that we can achieve our goals, and find peace and harmony for the world.” See? That’s how it’s done.
You get a really good look at Miss Philippines’ hair here. Those women are just gloriously beautiful! The only thing missing was Miss USA, and it about broke my heart when she walked out in her evening gown because I am 100% positive that’s what cost her a spot in the Top 5.
Y’all, as happy as Miss USA’s National Costume made me, and it did! Her evening gown made me sad. Look at that poor thing. The bodice mashed her bustline down so that she looked oddly flat-chested–more like she had pecs than a feminine bosom. The modestly panel made a weird line across her sternum, and that waistline? Terrible. The dress made her look thick and took away all her curves, when only moments earlier her swimsuit made it clear she was a glorious hourglass of All American.
I really wish we’d gotten to hear her interviewed because she did a really good job at the Miss USA pageant.
I was really proud of all the girls, though. They were beautiful and no one fell down, or forgot her name, or anything crazy like that.
And I’m real happy I had a chance to visit with y’all today.
Buy Lane’s book and learn all about me! It’s called TIARA TROUBLE, and you’ll love it.
Today, our writer guest is Meredith Schorr, author of JUST FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS, STATE OF JANE, and her latest novel BLOGGER GIRL. We were fortunate to get a little time to interview Meredith about her new release.
The Outside Lane: Kimberly Long, the main character of BLOGGER GIRL, is relatable and beleaguered. What is the challenge in taking an ordinary girl and making her extraordinarily readable?
Meredith Schorr: My brand is “chick lit for real chicks” and so common to all of my books is a very relatable heroine – someone who might remind the reader of herself or at least someone she knows. While I strive to create likeable characters, they are always flawed. I allow them to make mistakes, to feel jealous and insecure, to snap at a friend or colleague, to make dumb choices. I care a lot about my characters and it often hurts me to put them into difficult situations especially when I know their judgment is off, but if it is important to the story and adds an element of depth to my characters, it’s the right thing to do.
TOL: What do you like best about Chick Lit?
MS: I like that chick lit is often grounded in reality but peppered with a lot of humor and *usually* a happy ending. Chick lit takes real life situations and struggles and makes you laugh about them. I often nod my head in understanding while I am reading a chick lit book and feel that I am not alone. And when I read the last line, the book often leaves me feeling warm and fuzzy inside with an optimistic spirit.
TOL: How do you think writing for women has changed since Bridget Jones?
MS: I think initially, many authors tried to ride the coattails of the Bridget Jones phenomenon and write similar stories. Most did not succeed in my opinion but some did. Some authors captured the humor and realism and created unique characters to love but others were just poor imitations. As a result, the market was saturated with unimaginative books full of clichés until editors stopped publishing chick lit unless the author was already very well established. During this time, in my opinion, there weren’t nearly enough humorous books written about women as some of the bigger authors changed their style to write more serious women’s fiction but with the growth of self-publishing and smaller “indie” publishing houses, I am seeing a lot more well-written, original and hilarious stories again. I don’t only write chick lit but I read it as well and so I am thrilled to have discovered so many new authors over the past few years.
TOL: What has been your biggest learning experience in releasing your third novel?
MS: I have learned that giving away free copies of your book in exchange for reviews before the book is released really does make a huge difference in spreading the word. With my other two novels, I didn’t have nearly as much time pre-publication to contact bloggers and readers of the genre. By the timeBlogger Girl was released, there was already a certain amount of buzz from people who had read and enjoyed it and so sales picked up quickly whereas with my other books, it took several months
TOL: Talk about your publishing experience—how did you choose Booktrope?
MS: After I finished writing my second novel, A State of Jane, I wasn’t sure what my next steps would be. I wasn’t interested in spending years querying agents who would then spend years shopping around to publishers. I also didn’t want to self-publish because with my busy day job, I knew I needed the support of a publisher behind me in terms of editing, formatting, cover art, marketing etc. Unfortunately, I was not happy with the publisher of my first novel. A writer friend told me about Booktrope. I knew a few authors who had published with them and had enjoyed their books. Upon doing research, I was incredibly impressed with Booktrope’s “team publishing” philosophy. Every Booktrope author is teamed with an editor, cover artist and book manager and everyone on the team receives a portion of the royalties of the book. It also seemed that Booktrope was very much in tune with the changes in the publishing industry and willing to take risks. I loved that they offered marketing support because my original publisher did not. I also liked that their books were priced competitively, that they were always looking for new ways to market books, that they were staffed with experts in the field yet allowed the author a certain amount of control as well. Although they weren’t accepting unsolicited submissions at the time, I was lucky in that one of their best-selling authors, Tess Thomson, referred me to them and they offered me a contract. I had a great experiencing publishing A State of Jane with Booktrope and so when Blogger Girl was finished, I did not hesitate sending it to them. And now they have taken over the rights to my first novel, Just Friends with Benefits, too. I look forward to a long writing career with Booktrope!
TOL: Cast your book for the movie version. Pick your stars!
MS: Kimberly – Isla Fisher
Nicholas – Matt Long
Bridget – Blake Lively (with red hair)
Hannah – Kristin Ritter
Jonathan – Adam Brody
TOL: How much of your own world figures in to the worlds you write about?
MS: Although all of my novels are 100% fiction, most of my inspiration comes from real life. Characters are often loosely inspired by people I have met. And I will admit that I often take bits and pieces of real life, tweak them and use them out of context. Life is too humorous not to!
TOL: If you could get a cover blurb from any author in the world, whose words of praise would you want on the back of your book?
MS: Well, my chick lit “crush” is Sophie Kinsella but I would have to go with Judy Blume. Her YA books kept me (somewhat) sane turning my tween/early teen years. I read every book over and over again (and not just Forever…) It was like she just knew what I was feeling. To have an icon like Judy Blume endorse one of my books would be a dream come true.
TOL: Meredith, thank you so much for joining us today. We certainly appreciate your time.
I received a promotional copy of BLOGGER GIRL through Chick Lit Plus to review (and I bought a copy, too, because I know how writers rely on sales.) There is a lot to like about Meredith Schorr’s third book, BLOGGER GIRL. There is more to like than not. It is a well written, well edited Chick Lit book that follows the expected rules of the genre while taking some unconventional twists and turns that keep the story original and fresh. I liked how real the relationships between the characters felt, and had fun with the meta aspects of the main character’s (Kim Strong’s) daily life.
Meredith writes assertively and assuredly.
I wish I had liked Kim Strong more, but I have this feeling that she and I would not enjoying sharing a seat on the train. This is mainly because Kim reminded me way too much of the worst parts of my younger self, and I would either be lecturing, or shaking her by the shoulders. No one likes to get yelled at on the train, and certainly no one wants to be shaken.
BLOGGER GIRL really hits its stride right around the halfway mark, and was not a bad way to spend a few hours.
The only thing keeping me from giving the book 4 stars is the fact that Kim and I have a personality conflict, and I am afraid she will make fun of the size of my rear as soon as I am out of earshot. This does not mean that you and Kim will have a personality conflict, so take my opinion with a grain of salt.
4 out of 5 stars for me
Author Bio:
A born and bred New Yorker, Meredith Schorr discovered her passion for writing when she began to enjoy drafting work-related emails way more than she was probably supposed to, and was famous among her friends for writing witty birthday cards. After dabbling in children’s stories and blogging her personal experiences, Meredith found her calling writing “real chick lit for real chicks.” When Meredith is not hard at work on her current work in progress, she spends her days as a trademark paralegal at a law firm in New York City. Meredith is a loyal New York Yankees fan and an avid runner. She also loves to read and is always on the lookout for her new favorite author. A State of Jane is her second novel.
November 4 – The Little Black Book Blog – Review & Excerpt
November 5 – Book Mama – Review, Guest Post & Excerpt
November 6 – Books in the Burbs – Review & Excerpt
November 7 – The Gothic Ballerina – Guest Post
November 11 – The Outside Lane – Review & Q&A
November 12 – Chick Lit Club Connect – Guest Post
November 14 – Livia Ellis – Review & Excerpt
November 18 – Bee’s Knees Reviews – Review, Guest Post & Excerpt
November 19- Storm Goddess Book Reviews – Review & Excerpt
November 20- Leigh Bennett – Review, Guest Post & Excerpt
November 22 – Chick Lit Plus – Review
November 25 – Jersey Girl Book Reviews – Review, Guest Post & Excerpt
**Everyone who leaves a comment on the tour page will be entered to win a $20 Amazon gift card! Anyone who purchases their copy of Blogger Girl before November 25 and sends their receipt to Samantha (at) ChickLitPlus (dot) com, will get five bonus entries.**
Very nice reviews over at Ai Love Books and Sapphyria’s Book Reviews today. Also on Sapphyria’s blog, you can read up about my propensity to pretend I am smarter than I actually am. Not that you haven’t already experienced this yourselves.
So, my book cover is a nice, strawberry ice-cream pink, with tiaras in the title and hanging off the title itself, and the back cover says pageant, pageant, pageant–I knew going in that this would be off-putting to hundreds of thousands of people, and it is exactly why I did not try to book any author events at the womyn’s bookstore. I fully expected to attract a niche audience, though I hoped (still hope) to draw a larger group.
I have been so pleased, and so appreciative of the bloggers who have hosted my tour, and who have said things like, “I’m not a pageant person,” or, “I don’t like beauty pageants,” or “I never cared about pageants,” only to talk about how Destinee won them over. I really love Destinee, and I’ve said I tried to write a character I wouldn’t mind taking on a road trip. It feels really good when I see those reviews saying despite their initial misgivings, they enjoyed spending a few hours in the proverbial car with Destinee.
My mother has surgery next week, so I’m not sure how much I’ll be online. No internet at her house (how?!) and the Starbucks down the street closed (seriously?!) I will try to queue up a few entries, but if there’s radio silence, consider it a great time to read Tiara Trouble.
Oh, and to celebrate the Miss Universe pageant being held tomorrow night, Tiara Trouble goes on sale for Kindle on Saturday. 99 cents! Go, Miss USA!
There is a happy little review of Tiara Trouble over on Brooke Blog’s today. I’m glad she’s looking forward to the next installment! So am I. Now, if it would only cooperate, we could all be happy.
I’ve rewritten the first half of the book five times now. I’m on the sixth iteration of it. Each time I think, “This one is it!” So far, I’ve been wrong. Outside of making the plot iron out properly, I am very worried that the next one won’t be funny at all. I’m afraid I used up all my pageant humor. I definitely used up all my funeral humor.
Middle children are the rebels, though, right? So if TIARA TROUBLE is the first born, and MISS MAYHEM is the problem child, then whatever the third one ends up being named should be the happy-go-lucky, adored baby of the family, yes? I just need to get MISS MAYHEM born.
Meanwhile, I am awaiting word on the romance novel. I use that term loosely. Romance, I mean. It’s definitely a novel. I submitted it about a month ago, and got a request for the full manuscript about a week later. Last week, I realized that I responded to the request for the full manuscript using the wrong subject line. The publisher had asked for a very specific subject line.
When I saw that, I panicked and thought I’d either sent myself back to the slush pile, or I had ruined my chances by being careless. I emailed an apology with the proper subject heading and got a response (on Friday) that the manuscript had made it through the first time, and was in the final stages of the submission process, and I’d hear from the publishing house within the next week. Tomorrow marks the end of “within the next week.” So, I’m watching my email like a hawk.
On the plus side, I do feel like with that submission I finally got the hang of the query process. I think I have the hang of how to write a good synopsis, and have a decent grasp of the log line. You know, words I rarely used in my everyday vernacular up until a few months ago. Funny how every trade has its own language.
I received a promotional copy of BLOGGER GIRL through Chick Lit Plus to review (and I bought a copy, too, because I know how writers rely on sales.) There is a lot to like about Meredith Schorr’s third book, BLOGGER GIRL. There is more to like than not. It is a well written, well edited Chick Lit book that follows the expected rules of the genre while taking some unconventional twists and turns that keep the story original and fresh. I liked how real the relationships between the characters felt, and had fun with the meta aspects of the main character’s (Kim Strong’s) daily life.
The Outside Lane 