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Chef Lane

Fishy

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My family succumbed to whatever it was I suffered through yesterday and this morning, so by the time I had cooked my grilled tilapia with mango salsa, they were out. I just got around to trying it. Not bad.

It’s a little bland. I under-salted both the fish and the salsa, but that’s okay. The fish is nice and flaky, and the marinade seems good. I think I’d like the salsa to be a little sweeter. I might put a pinch of sugar in the next batch.

We’ll see if the fish reheats well, tomorrow. (My gag reflex works at the idea of eating reheated fish. We may just throw it away. I dunno.)

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Dreaming of Vacation

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I am at home today, nursing an ear issue. I took one too many direct hits to the ear canal at GWL on Saturday, and haven’t been the same since. To amuse myself (after having spent 45 minutes putting together a Lego monstrosity–attention all gift givers, if it says 7+, Thor can’t assemble it himself. I will end up doing it. I prefer Barbies. That written, I can hear him playing now, and it was worth every neck craning, ear canal throbbing second. Thank you, gift givers!) I have posted my review of my trip to Europe, and am now reposting my tripadvisor.com review of the Barcelo resort in San Juan del Cabo.

We traveled to the Barcelo through cheapcarribean.com, which worked out all right, and I would use them again, but only to book the hotel/air travel. I would not book any excursions or transfers with them. We brought a 4 year old, picky eater, and were prepared to feed him with snacks from home. The food here was great for all of us, and we even found a great variety for our son.

[The transfers we paid for through cheapcarribean.com turned out to be twice as costly as a taxi, and did not run during the hours we needed for our return flight. Boo!]

The Bad
Our flight brought us in early, and we arrived at the hotel by 1. Our room would not be ready until 3. That was fine. We enjoyed lunch at the first of many buffets, then settled down in the palazzo to wait. The sea breeze was nice, and the atmosphere was very lazy and good for a vacation. However, after sitting outside in the heat for so long, we were dismayed to have our room readiness delayed. We did not actually get into our room until 5. The front desk staff was fairly surly about it. [To be fair, by 4:30, so was I.]

Our room (in the Building 3 everyone talks about) was great looking, with a view of the adult pool area. The air conditioning never worked properly. It would blow, but the room never cooled below 25C. We put in three maintenance requests, then just gave up. It was not so hot as to be miserable, but was never so cool as to be truly comfortable to this AC spoiled person.

The a la carte dining was not good. The buffets were really, very good, full of variety and savory dishes. We ate at two of our a la carte reservations (now made in advance by the hotel, so you will not have any trouble getting them) and skipped the third. The food in those restaurants was substandard as far as I am concerned.

Not truly bad, but disappointing was the one big activity we had planned. We took our son on the advertised dinner cruise on the Buccaneer Queen. The cruise itself, and the pirate show were fantastic. The crew was great. The dinner? There was not one. There was a snack of mini croissants dressed with a single slice of ham, lettuce and cheese, carrot sticks, celery, and jicama, with a big bowl of guacamole and chips, slopped in the center of the deck for a free for all of the ship guests to grab. It was unappetizing, but our son ate two sandwiches, so he was happy.

My husband adds that the martini bar at the hotel sucked. He is correct.

The Good
As everyone has said, Building 3 is terrific. It is a good location, clean, quiet, and well appointed. The cleaning service was aggressive. Even after we hung out our DND sign, they still knocked to remind us that they would like to come in to clean the room. I wanted to nap.

Our mini bar was kept stocked. We had plenty of towels, and plenty of bath accessories.

Service in the buffets was excellent. Service in the spa was excellent. I had the best massage of my life in the Barcelo spa. [I also had the worst body scrub, but the massage was so good, I almost didn’t care.]

The swim up bar was nice, and the frozen piña coladas were tasty. They were also very agreeable to making kiddie drinks.

We came here to be lazy and just shut down, and it was the perfect place to do it. In spite of the little annoyances, we had a really good time. We slept, we ate, we drank, we swam, we went to the spa, we watched our son play himself tired in the kiddie area, and we slept and ate some more. It has been a relaxing, good vacation.

I would recommend this resort to people with families of small children. They do cater to the family, and the environment is family friendly on the whole.

Activities
We did the Buccaneer Queen dinner cruise and took a glass bottom boat out to The Arch. Both were well worth our time and we would do again. We booked through the resort and were happy with how quickly and easily we were able to sort out what we wanted to do.

Time Shares/Airport
If anyone begins a conversation with, “Let me give you a Spanish lesson,” they are trying to sell you a time share. Just say, “No, gracias,” and keep walking. Something important to know is that when you get off the flight, you will enter a room after baggage claim that is full of time share personnel at counters that look like rental car counters. Just keep walking. Your transport options are waiting for you outside.

Have fun!

Lancient History

10

the outside lane

Ten years ago, just after I’d met the Lobster, before I met B, and well before Thor was a twinkle in anyone’s eye, in January, Renae and I took a Contiki tour of Europe. If you can drink like an Australian, or if you don’t mind people who do, this is the tour company for you. However, if you are a minister’s daughter/social worker and Marine’s daughter/current employee of a religious organization, whose drinking escapades are so far limited to each other’s company and a small mini-bar in a Shreveport hotel room, you might want to look for something a little less…sodden?

There is very little in my life that I would do over. I believe in looking forward, not back. But, this is one of those things. I would redo this trip in a heartbeat, given the chance. I would know where not to eat!

Renae and I had a fantastic time, no denying, and in celebration of the fun, I am reposting the original review [with edits for detail] I wrote of our trip, then only distributed to my coworkers and my friends at TTP. Now, anyone in the world who googles Contiki can read it. Ah, the internet.

Enjoy.

okay, here is the rundown of my trip. Wake up call was at 6:00 every morning, and usually we didn’t get back to our hotels before 11:00 at night.

day one: I lost half my travelers’ cheques in the airport–someone returned them to security, though, and I found them (yay God!). Had a lovely projectile vomiting incident on the plane and had to change clothes before going through customs [terrified small child who was watching me heave and blow the bottoms out of the paper barf bags]. We spent 3 hours getting from the airport to our hotel–all the locals were on their way to work, so the trains were too stuffed for us and our luggage to get on. We also wandered around outside in the freezing rain for a half hour looking for our hotel. Turns out that we were wandering around exactly IN FRONT of our hotel the whole time. It just didn’t have a sign on it. We ate lunch and took a double decker bus tour, on which I promptly fell asleep and snored through all the major attractions of London. I found Trafalgar Square particularly nice for sleeping. We had a nap back at the hotel before meeting up with the tour group for the first time, and then ate Greek food for dinner. Tour group was 51 people. 8 Americans, 4 Mexicans, 3 South Africans, and the rest Australians with serious drinking problems. Left there and took the tube all over London, snapping pictures like idiots, running all over the place. Loved it. Didn’t want to leave. Hair dryer blew up. One hair appliance down. One to go.

day two: We got on the bus and headed for Dover, then crossed the channel into Calais. I spent the entire ferry ride on the floor of the bathroom with my head IN the toilet. Miserable. Back on the bus for some more motion sickness, and then by late evening we were in Amsterdam. Renae and I split up from the group, who had mostly gone on a candlelight cruise of whatever river runs through Amsterdam, and we wandered all over the city for 3 hours. We avoided the drug houses and did our best to stay out of the red light district. Somehow we ended up in the WORST part of the city, but found our way out and went to a cafe where a geriatric group was assembled playing dice. Went back to the hotel and tried to sleep through the drunken Australians screaming in the hallway. Curling iron burned up…literally. Spent the rest of the trip washing hair and letting it air dry. In other words, I had 2 bad hair weeks, but still managed to survive!

day three: Went back into Amsterdam in the daylight. Visited the Anne Frank house, which was very moving for me personally, and bought wooden shoes and postcards. Got back on the bus and started off again. The bus driver got lost in Germany so we were nearly 2 hours late in getting to St. Goar, our next stop. It was a hideously charming little German town nestled between 4 mountains right on the Rhine River. I kept thinking about my old Gnome books and wondered if Trolls lived under the bridge. I didn’t see any. Tried to sleep through the drunken Australians who were banging on my door in the middle of the night because they couldn’t remember which rooms were theirs.

day four: Was forced to watch a demonstration of how beer steins were made. Escaped narrowly with sanity in tact. Was forced to look at many cuckoo clocks and hummel dolls. Managed not to cry. Boarded bus once more and headed for Munich, driving through the German Alps and seeing more castles than should be allowed. I now yawn at castles. Made a stop outside of Munich to visit the Dachau Concentration Camp. Spent an hour walking around there. Life changing experience really and I don’t want to negate it by writing about it here [in a joking manner.] Off to the hotel at Munich–bathroom had heated floor tiles! MMMMMM! Warm feet! Happy feet! There were 5 inches of snow on the ground by the time we got to the hotel. Off to the Haufbrauhaus where the Australians drank upwards 2 liters of beer each (some had 5). Back to hotel where I tried to sleep through drunken Australians screaming out the names of their various roommates, while trying to find their hotel rooms. [And banging on our door, yelling, “Jon/Mary/Pete! I know you’re in there! Lemme in!” as they shook the door knob and kicked at the facings, from about 2am onward, until they started passing out in heaps in the hallways.]

day five: Hated the Australians. Went into downtown Munich, saw the Haufkirche and the Glockenspiel. Big church with lots of freaky art and dead people in the first, and a big clock at the second. Had lovely coffee and Bavarian creme donut in a cafe. Got back on the bus. Hated the [loud, rude, foul smelling] Australians some more. Drove through Austrian Alps and tour manager forced us to listen to the entire soundrack of the Sound of Music as we drove [the entire time we were in Austria]. Hated him. Amused self by thinking of ways to kill him. Arrived at Innsbruck late afternoon and toured the city–well, the tourist part anyway. Bought souvenirs and ate pizza, then got back on the bus. Went to hotel, ate dinner, went directly to bed with a hacking cough and a high fever. Did not even hear the Australians, though Renae tells me they were louder than ever and tried to get into our room again.

day six: Hated the world. Hacking cough, fever, runny nose, and German food wreaking havoc on my system. Boarded the bus and drove through more alps to deboard at the ferry in Venice. Ferried into Venice without puking. Yay me! Strolled through the city of Venice for 5 hours, including a gondola ride which was fabby. Found many great costume, wig, and mask shops. Drooled. Window shopped Versace, Gucci, Prada, et al. Drooled more. Ate authentic Venetian food. Tried not to vomit. Strolled more. Had severe chills interspersed with cold sweats and dizzy spells. Chatted up by an Italian man who gave me roses. Nice. They like that hacking cough there. Just means the girl is too tired to fight. Toured St. Mark’s Basilica. Watched the lunar eclipse. Fell madly in love with Venice, wanted to stay there. Sent postcards and got yelled at by the post lady for being too slow. Went back to the hotel and tried to sleep through the Australians, who had discovered Chianti.

day seven: Spent the day on the bus driving to Rome. Saw the most beautiful countryside I’ve ever seen. Enjoyed it through a still fevered haze. Arrived in Rome late evening and took a brisk walking tour of the city that I thought might finally end my life. Wheezed, coughed, shivered, and sweated, but saw the Trevi Fountain, Pantheon, and several monuments. Ate some really gross ravioli and went to bed. Hated the Australians. Got up in the middle of the night, walked down the hall [in my tatty pajamas, glasses, crazy snow cap hair, and big old breathe-right-strip…sexy!] and begged the Australians to be quiet so I could sleep. Got laughed at by Australians, went back to bed defeated and cried a little. Finally fell asleep.

day eight: Got up and growled, snarled, and was generally nasty to Australians. Left hotel on foot at 9AM, walked all day long with a stop for lunch until 9PM. Only 2 of my toes bled, though. Saw ALL of Rome. Outstanding city and I want to go back. Toured the Sistine Chapel and St. Peter’s Basilica. Got ripped off at lunch and paid WAY more than we should have. Finally made it back to the hotel. Managed to ignore the Australians and get 3 hours of sleep. Cursed Russell Crowe, Heath Ledger, and all their countrymen. Repented and remembered to pray for them instead of being mad at them…forgot again by the time I woke up.

day nine: Got up and boarded the bus, driving all day until we arrived at Florence around 3PM. Made fun of the Australian that was so drunk he fell down in the bus toilet. Really enjoyed his pain. Toured Florence, including seeing the Academia and the David (hoo! everyone should see that). Had art overload, but loved it. Went to a leather working demonstration, had lunch in a fabby cafe, and otherwise loved Florence. Want to go back there and stay a week. Hacking cough settled into a rumbling cough, and fever broke. Went out to dinner with the group and ate very well, then went to a disco where I was chatted up by a man [there’s a whole story here about me being a “beautiful dangerous angel”, and Renae having dazzled our dinner waiter so much that he followed her to the club. I’m too old to retell it without sheepishly acknowledging that this was a tourist disco, and I’m sure these local boys used the same lines every night because it was like fishing in a barrel. Renae and I disappointed them sorely.] Renae and I rounded up as many of the falling down drunk Australians as we could, put them in cabs and helped them back to their hotel rooms. [Unwittingly, we set our drunk-girl-loving tour guide onto a very sodden 18 year old, stating our worry for her. He promised he would take care of her. Oh, he took care of her all right. I’m sure her mother would not thank us.]

day ten: Drove to Lucerne, Switzerland. Tied an Australian’s shoelaces together while he slept on the bus. Laughed wickedly when he got up and tried to walk. Waited for him to go back to sleep and talked someone else into doing the same thing. Laughed even harder when he got up and tried to walk again. Repented for that just now. Bought swiss army knives for friends. Wanted to go back to Italy. Purposefully tripped an Australian, who had been particularly nasty the night before just to watch him fall. Repented. Went back to hotel, ate dinner, had a bubble bath and made fun of the Swiss…that’s a long story in and of itself.

day eleven: Drove to Paris. Arrived in time to go up the Eiffel Tower. Had a picture made with one of the telescopes, refused to tell anyone why [will still deny, deny, deny.] Tripped the same Australian on purpose again. Didn’t repent that time. Drove through the city at night. Fell in love with Paris. Wanted to live there. Felt bad about tripping the Australian, repented. Went back to the hotel and fell asleep before I even got under the covers.

day twelve: Spent the entire day in Paris. Saw all the sights. Ate lunch with the locals in a very posh restaurant. Found out that I really *CAN* speak French fluently well enough to get around. Chatted with a local. Did the Louvre. Had massive artattack and had to be dragged from the museum under duress. Went to see Charlie’s Angels at a cinema on the Champs d’Elysees. Loved Paris. Loved it. Loved it. Had learned to ignore the Australians and got another good night’s sleep.

day thirteen: Drove back to London. Immediately ditched the tour group without so much as a goodbye to more than 5 of them. Went to hotel in a giddy stupor shouting (well, croaking with glee), “Free at last! Free at last! Thank God Almighty, I’m free at last!” Had Indian food for dinner, listened to BBC radio, fell asleep.

day fourteen: Got up at 4AM and went to airport to go home. Seriously considered kissing ground on landing. Decided against it. Kissed mother instead.

Chef Lane, Uncategorized

Getting Cooking

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I am not much of a cook. I’m okay, but it’s real work. My greatest accomplishment of the year was not setting anything on fire, and I managed to fry chicken last week. Since we’ve moved into the new place, and since my commute and Thor’s school line up with it, I am endeavoring to cook at home every week night. I thought I would share my adventures.

We didn’t move our whole kitchen into the townhouse. Right now, I have a single pot, a single skillet, a baking square, and a le creuset dutch oven to work with. I won’t move my whole kitchen until we’re in our new place, but next weekend I’m going to go get the rest of my le creuset set, so I’ll have another skillet, and a couple more pots. Until then, my cooking is all about timing out what I need to cook first.

B doesn’t like to eat vegetables, but does like salad, so I served three of those last week. Ahead of time, I chopped up red, yellow, and green peppers, and carrots, and put those in baggies. I bought shelled pistachios, and bags of salad. I split out the salad into gigantic ziplocs, then, as I served, would add peppers, carrots and nuts, and B’s favorite salad dressing, shake and plate.

Tonight, I premade this recipe for grilled tilapia and mango salsa to cook tomorrow. The mango salsa too a hella long time to finish, and I’m not sure my mango was entirely ripe. I’ll let you know how it turns out.

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Let it Foam, Let it Foam, Let it Foam

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I preface the following with the understanding that Great Wolf Lodge was not built for adults, and that it is a for-profit business.

On the whole, I think GWL is a good experience. I would give it 5 out of 5 stars for delivering on its promises of entertainment and fun for children. I would give it 3 stars for value. I would give it 3 stars as a hotel

A few years back, as a Boys and Girls Club of America charity event, we got day passes to use the waterpark at Great Wolf Lodge. Thor loved it. We enjoyed it. We said to ourselves, “We’ll get these day passes every year!” Alas, the day passes went from $15 per person, to $35 per person, with so many blackout dates, we would not be able to use them. So, instead of taking a train ride on the North Pole Express this year, we decided our annual Holiday Family Outing would be a stay at Great Wolf. We were all looking forward to it.

You can go on their website and find the pricing. Trust me that we took the least expensive option available, and that we’ve been counting this in our budget since October. It still hurt my teeth a little to sign the initial paperwork with the cost of our room and breakfast package. For that amount of money, I expect Ashton levels of quality.

The room itself was nice. It was standard fare, with two queen beds, a sofa sleeper, and the all important coffee maker. The bathroom was very small–the same size as the bathroom in our townhome–with the sink and vanity outside, in the actual room, where you would normally find the closet space. Plenty of hot water, though, and plenty clean. This was one of the cleanest rooms I’ve been in. Everything looked brand new.

We put our things away, got into our swimwear, and headed to the waterpark. It was a Spring Break kind of crowded. Bodies everywhere. Little bitty tiny people, Thor sized people, tweens who were soooo over it, and grown ups who were chasing the rest of those bodies around. I mean it was packed. I assumed that the content of the knee deep kiddie pool was mostly kiddie urine, and that the rest of the pools were a mix of chlorine and tween eliminations.

(Aside: Most waterparks have these fountains that shoot up out of the ground now. The water pressure is pretty high, and the jets are pretty strong. Kids put their feet over them, aim and can spray you for miles. More precocious little girls… Listen, I have now seen five different little girls, in two different waterparks, straddling these things with glazed eyes and goofy smiles. Uncomfortable. Betty Draper would not approve. Sally Draper is another story entirely.)

Again, Thor had a blast, and B and I were enjoying ourselves. I did take one too many direct hits of water to the ear, and bashed my knee up (yes, same one) when our float capsized on a ride, but it wasn’t bad. Everything was fine until I got into the adult hot tub, which was so chlorinated, I got out in under three minutes. I have a weird sensitivity to chlorine, and it was downhill from there.

We stayed in a while longer, then went to dinner. Wow. Up front, I will tell you that dinner cost $50.19 without including tip, and consisted of a buffet. The buffet was in sections containing: Black eyed peas, turnip greens, and fried chicken, pasta, fish with sauce, and some other vegetable, and mac and cheese, peas and carrots, and chicken strips. Those were the only options. I chose chicken strips, which ought to give anyone who has ever met me great pause. The grown ups were not pleased. But this was Thor’s trip, so…back to the room for a rest.

Story time was supposed to start at 8, and it was going to snow in the lobby! All month, I’ve been hearing commercials for how it snowed in the GWL lobbies every evening. I was pretty interested in how that would work.

By the time we got back to the room, B was suffering from ear trouble, too. When it was story time, I took Thor upstairs and we both looked at each other like, “What is this supposed to be?” Chuck E. Cheese’s friends Moose, Racoon, and Boy animatronics were singing some song about how there was nothing to be afraid of in GWL, and how children should go to sleep and not worry about being eaten or something. It sounded like a song the old witch might have sung to Hansel and Gretel.

“Don’t be afraid lalalala you won’t even fit into the oven lalalala nothing here will eat you lalalala just be strong and relax lalalala…”

I don’t know about anyone else’s kids, but up until those lyrics, it hadn’t occurred to mine that there might be something to worry over. “What could eat me?” Thor wanted to know. “Nothing. It’s a joke,” I promised, wanting a distraction.

Score! It had begun to snow. Snow! Something you don’t see much of in Texas. But something that you do see enough of to tell the difference between actual lacy ice crystals and dishwashing foam. It was foaming in the lobby. Thor looked at me and frowned. I suggested we go get him a magic wand and do one of the magicquest games. He thought that sounded like fun.

We lined up to pay for his wand and game, another $32, and set off. If I hadn’t been having equilibrium issues, that might have been a lot of fun. I think this is a fantastic concept–a scavenger hunt dressed as a magical adventure. Thor was totally into it. But, since I was feeling like a seasick muggle, all I could really tell you is that we walked 8 flights of stairs looking for Thor’s quest items (elevators are not allowed for magicquesting), dodging unsupervised tweens who were doing the same. The only thing worse than a pack of unsupervised tweens is a pack of wolves–and only then because the wolves will eat you. Wild tweens might, but I got the feeling that these gentrified ones would just whine that we weren’t already cooked and garnished. That, Thor, is what you had to fear at GWL. Tweens.

Again, we understood that this was not a grown up hotel, so you can’t really complain about the free range children. I’m not complaining. I am reporting. I do hope that we are never the parents who give a child a wand and tell it to run free, though.

We accomplished Thor’s quest and returned to the room, where it was B’s turn to have magic fun. While they were gone, I considered ordering a pizza, but I was afraid they would charge me my firstborn, and he wasn’t available for barter at the moment. I made coffee instead.

The room’s coffee was fantastic.

B and Thor returned, and we paid another $7 for him to be able to play a video game on the television. Not the most cost effective weekends we’ve had.

By 10, we were settled in to sleep. This is good, because GWL enforces a quiet time from 11pm to 7:30am. So why was I on the phone with the front desk at 11:45pm?

I have no freaking idea what was going on upstairs, but it was loud enough to wake up Thor three times, and to keep me from going to sleep at all. And I have slept through a tornado in a campsite. I can sleep through anything. I thought.

We passed a miserable night. Because we were on the first floor, where the waterpark and game hall are, we could hear every sound as they cleaned and prepped after closing, and again in the wee hours as they started prep and opening procedures. Misery. I was a devil woman by the time our alarm went off. Devil woman.

I explained the problem to the front desk at check out, and was asked if I had called to report the noise. I said yes, and the girl said, “Oh…then I’m sorry.” She could not have cared less. I’m sure I looked awesome, all basset hound eyed and wild haired.

The breakfast buffet? Don’t get me started.

As I type, B and Thor are enjoying the waterpark again after driving me home. I am just that cranky. LOL. I got sent home.

On the whole, I think GWL is a good experience. I would give it 5 out of 5 stars for delivering on its promises of entertainment and fun for children. I would give it 3 stars for value. I would give it 3 stars as a hotel–if only because of the freaking noise. We will probably go again, but not on New Year’s Day, and not without budgeting even more. Oh, and we also won’t go because the snow sounds exciting.