Author: the outside lane

Happy. That about covers it.
Howling Sea Lane, Politics, Religion, Uncategorized

Uncle Daddy

the outside lane

I’m sure you’re tired of hearing about legitimate rape by now, but chicken is so three weeks ago.  Omniscient Uteri are the new black!  Omniscient Uteri is also the name of my new band.  The first album will be called, “Shutting it Down.”

I hesitated to write anything on the topic, but since I’m awake and thinking about it…

Here’s the thing:  You can’t fix a moron.  If there are people out there who genuinely believe that there is a difference between rape and rape-rape, you can’t fix them.  Ignorance you can enlighten, but stupid is forever.  We just have to quit voting for Stupid.

I am delighted when morons reveal themselves.  Especially when morons in positions of political or religious power reveal themselves.  It’s social Darwinism.  Hopefully, when those morons do the great reveal, we are intelligent enough to say, “Hey, you really shouldn’t be driving this car any longer,” and take away their keys.

Now, people who know there is no such thing as the difference between rape and rape-rape, who only say words to that effect in order to court your vote?  Those people are evil.  You can’t change them either.

The only thing you can do, what I am doing right now, is point out the idiocy when you see it.  When the Emperor rides through town naked, you point and shout, “The Emperor has no clothes!”  That’s the only way to deal with these mugs.  And maybe throw some science up against the proverbial wall and hope that sticks.

As if Representative Rape-Rape isn’t bad enough, now we’ve got this trick who has never heard of a girl getting pregnant by rape or incest.  This doofus, who is a lifelong member of St. Martin’s Church in Odebolt, Iowa, has apparently never made it through even the first book of the beloved Bible he’s banging around on because *cough* Genesis 19:46 *cough*.

“So both of Lot’s daughters became pregnant by their father.”

That’s two girls right there!  TWO!  With one little Bible verse, I have doubled his knowledge of incest-based pregnancy!

Or I would have.  But he probably won’t read this. 

(P.S., I have always wondered just how drunk a father would have to get in order not to recognize his daughters.  And if he was that drunk, how would he be able to perform in the first place?  I think there’s a bit of revisionist history going on there in Genesis.)

(P.P.S., Technically, we are all the product of ancestral incest, if we are to believe that Adam and Eve were the first and only humans on the planet.  It’s not like their offspring would have had a wealth of choice outside the Smart sister, or the Pretty sister, you know?)

Chef Lane

Icing on the Cake

the outside lane

You all know that I adore Julie Anne Rhodes, and give her a lot of the credit for my new kitchen confidence.  You might not know that I write for her blog now and then.

This week, I wrote about the work that went into creating Thor’s 7th birthday cake.  All the practice cakes, the fondant messes, and the little lessons I learned in my quest for something that looked better than the cake I made for his 1st birthday.

The cake Julie Anne made for her daughter’s 4th birthday.

I also made a couple of silly videos to show how to roll fondant icing (because it took me a LOT of trial and error), and cover a cake with fondant icing (see previous parenthetical.)  Those are found here:

and here:

If I can do this, YOU can do this. 

Meanwhile, check out Julie Anne’s website, and seriously consider membership.  I have gotten a lot of miles out of my mine!

Uncategorized

Hi-ho, Hi-ho

the outside lane

Our staycation comes to an end this evening.  It’s been a nice week of doing nothing much of anything, but I’m honestly ready to go back to work.  By Wednesday I could hardly stand myself, and was so happy to have a cake to make that it is a little embarrassing.  B and Thor both had birthdays during our time off, and Thor had his big birthday party yesterday.

Every year since age 2, we have gone to Chuck E. Cheese, but this year, Thor asked to go roller skating.  You know that was a big yes for me!  Where else can you unabashedly enjoy disco music?  Granted, I did struggle not to be THAT mom, but I got my skate time in for sure.  I also busted my butt in a lovely comic pratfall.  Both skates straight up in the air, both arms straight up in the air, and landed squarely on my back and one wrist.  At least it was entertaining for those who saw it.

I was this mom. Sweaty and happy.

I love roller skating.  I think Thor and I are going to have to go do it more often.

 

Uncategorized

Modern Family

the outside lane

I sometimes avoid popular tv shows because I am afraid they will turn out to be Two and a Half Men.  What usually happens is that we don’t watch something until it’s going into its third season, or so, then we watch all the episodes in a month.  We’ve just done that with Modern Family, a bandwagon I was afraid to jump on because it looked silly.  Well, I love that show.

It is kind, and funny, and sweet, and hits awfully close to home–especially when electronics are involved.

If you haven’t watched before, you should.

Food, housing, Reviews, travel, Uncategorized

A Review: Randy’s Steakhouse in Frisco, and the NYLO Hotel in Plano

the outside lane

B and I try to hit a new restaurant during Dallas Restaurant Week, every year.  This year, he sent me the list of participating restaurants and I narrowed it down to five I wanted to try, and he picked Randy’s Steakhouse of out that short list.  The Open Table reservation options were limited, so we did the unorthodox thing of setting our reservation for the evening of Thor’s birthday, sending him to Grandma’s house (where he wanted to be anyway), and celebrating the anniversary of our having become parents over Randy’s prix fixe Restaurant Week menu.

We shared appetizers of beef empanadas with horseradish sauce and calamari with remoulade sauce, then had a first course of turtle soup, followed by entrees of prime rib and sea scallops, with desserts of cheesecake and bread pudding.  Randy’s also offered a wine pairing to go with each course, so we indulged in that as well.  Randy roamed the restaurant chatting up guests and making sure everyone was  happy.  We certainly were.

The empanadas were light and flaky, and the beef filling was juicy–I would order those on their own for a meal if offered!  The calamari were all right, but nothing special.  Neither of us had ever had turtle soup before.  I liked the taste, but I couldn’t get past the fact that I was eating turtle, and that ruined it a little for me.  The turtle itself (which was ground) had the texture of pate, or soft tofu.  B enjoyed his more than I did mine, but we both agreed that it tasted quite nice.

B said his prime rib was excellent, and my scallops were absolutely perfect.  I didn’t try the cheesecake because our wine pairings (don’t even ask me what we drank, but all of it was lovely) had gone to my head, but the bread pudding was very nice.

The atmosphere was pleasant and friendly.  The waitstaff was attentive and helpful.  Randy seemed like a really nice man.

This is a place we would certainly go to again.

4.5 out of 5 stars

After dinner, we drove over to the nearby NYLO hotel for the night.  The NYLO wants to be in Manhattan, and I thought it did a really good job of bringing that industrial, hipster-loft feel to the bustling yuppie-land of Plano.  Our room overlooked one of the frou frou strip malls on Preston, so not exactly the Meatpacking District, but still fun.

Room with a view (of a bunch of restaurants.)

The loft rooms at NYLO are long and skinny, and reminded me alternately of the tiny apartment showroom displays at Ikea and my dad’s RV.  I think the size of it was about the size of the RV, and the clever furnishings and use of nook space was 100% Ikea.

I loved the platform bed (good mattress and a billion nice pillows), and that you could go up two steps to stand behind it and set the air conditioner to your level of cool, and work the blinds that did a surprisingly good job of blocking out all the neon from across the street.  Also surprisingly good: how well the room was soundproofed from the traffic of Preston and 121.

The room was tricked out with all sorts of useful gadgetry, and was comfortably furnished.  I wouldn’t have minded staying there for a couple of days, save for one thing.  The bathroom.

And on this wall, you have the bathroom.  Smoked plexiglass shower stall–great for making shadow puppets!

The bathroom itself wasn’t bad.  The shower was big and roomy, and the sink was a really nice, deep bowl that sat up on the granite counter.  However, the bathroom was only separated from the rest of the room by a glorified screen.  You had a good 3 feet of open space from the top of the sliding door/smoked plexiglass shower wall and the ceiling, meaning that when I was in the bathroom, I could converse with B easily.  I didn’t even have to raise my voice for him to hear me. So you can guess what else he could hear.  And vice versa.

I’m not shy about bodily functions, but I did really consider going down to the hotel lobby to use the restroom this morning.  Fortunately, my digestive system didn’t kick into gear until after we left, so I could have my privacy without making it clear that I was going to have some privacy.

For a night, I thought the NYLO was great.  If I were on my own, I would absolutely take advantage of their great rates (really, really good rates) and great digs.  For a night where I am sharing a room with someone else?  No way.  That bathroom thing kills it.

2.5 out of 5 stars for more than one person

4 out of 5 stars for one person