Author: the outside lane

Happy. That about covers it.
books, Career, continuing education, Cozy Cat Press, Destinee Faith Miller Mystery, Explaining the Strange Behavior, School, The Book, Thor, Tiara Trouble, writing

Terrifying Tiara Trouble and Thanks

the outside lane

I have great news!  TIARA TROUBLE, the first in the Destinee Faith Miller Mystery series, will be available for purchase on 10/28/2013.  Eee!

TiaraTroubleEbook

And that’s the cover, right there!  All Destinee’d up with her signature pink and zebra.  You knew Destinee’s signature colors were pink, black, and zebra, right?  Unlike her trampy arch-nemesis, Tishelle Tucker, whose signature colors are red, black, and leopard.

So, now with a release date set, and behind the scenes plans going into action, I will admit to you that I am scared.  What if it flops?  What if people hate it?  Why did I write so many words?  Is anyone going to get my sense of humor?  What if I’m not a good writer?

A lot of what-ifs, people.  Ultimately, if it flops, it flops, and if people hate it, they hate it.  I wrote so many words because they seemed necessary at the time, and if I continued to second guess myself, it would have been whittled down to the length of a magazine article.  If no one gets my sense of humor, that’s fine–like that hasn’t happened before.  I’m okay with the sound of crickets.  And, I know I write well.  Whether, or not other people agree that I write novels well is yet to be seen.

I think I got so used to people telling me that I wasn’t ever living up to my fullest potential that I never think my efforts are my best.  Or, maybe I’m afraid they are.  And if they are, what does that mean?  Does that mean I am not the rare Sparklefly my mother thinks I am?!

I think about that a lot when it comes to how I parent.  I see a lot of myself in Thor.  He is an exceptionally smart child, and he is an exceptionally creative daydreamer–those two things don’t add up to Straight A Student.  That doesn’t mean he isn’t living up to his fullest potential, though.  That means that this is his groove.

Grades don’t show potential.  Grades show self-discipline.  Kind of like being an accomplished musician is different from being a talented musician.  You can be taught to play anything.  You can’t be taught to create.  What is ideal is when you have the self-discipline to make the grades, and the potential to turn that self-discipline/learning into something.

I tell Thor that he must strive for excellence.  I expect him to try his hardest, and not give up.  I don’t expect him to make perfect scores, but I expect him to work toward getting things right–he should want to get things right.  I don’t expect him to be the top of his class, all honors, everybody’s all-American.  I expect him to fully utilize his resources, and do the work.  Where he lands, he lands.*

I have, and will continue to impress upon him that education/school is what gives you the tools to build a future.  Does he want a brain that is like the little pig who built his house out of straw, or does he want a brain that is like the little pig who built his house out of bricks?  Well, he has to have to right tools to build the kind of brain he wants, and the right tools are often heavy and take more effort to lift.

Writing this, I am thinking about the wonderful teachers I had, who outweighed the awful ones.  Good teachers are brain-tool salesmen, who make you think you can’t live without knowing how to parse a sentence, or solve a quadratic equation.  You just have to have that ability to name the colors in the rainbow!  You absolutely MUST get in on that ability to recite the Gettysburg Address!  You cannot possibly go another day without reading The Scarlet Letter!  Because good teachers get you to buy in to the mental body building it takes to wield the tools, and the stamina necessary to keep going.

It isn’t necessary to be a sparklefly.  Sparklefly is only good for so much.  But it is necessary to build a solid foundation and the self-discipline to put that foundation to work.  Enough elbow grease can shine up an ordinary fly to look sparkly.

I worked hard at TIARA TROUBLE, and I’m not going to lie and tell you I didn’t on the chance that it fails.  You know, so I could say, “Well, it’s not like it was my best effort.”  I honestly don’t know what my best effort looks like.  All I can tell you is that I worked very hard and I am proud of the result, and I really hope you like it.  I hope it makes you laugh.  I like it.  I’ve had to read it about 60 times now, and I still make myself laugh.

So, thank you Mrs. Farr, Mrs. Mendina, Dr. Chaisson, Dr. Morris, Mrs. Monroe, Mrs. Anderson, Mr. Cargile, Mrs. Mack, and Mrs. Barnes.  You were excellent brain-tool salespeople, and the fact that I am a functioning adult, much less a published author at all is a credit to your mad skillz.

 

*There is no Tiger to this Mom.  That might not be something to be proud of, I don’t know.  I guess I’ll find out in about 20 years.

 

 

Uncategorized

Imma Let You Finish…A Random Listicle

the outside lane

As usual these days, I have forty things I want to write about, and no time to do it.  So let’s have a listicle*:

  1. My author bio is up on the Cozy Cat Press author page!  You have to scroll down to the bottom of the page, and click on my big, cheesy grin.
  2. I have seen a mock-up of my book cover and it is splendid!  All the most important things about Destinee are represented, and I couldn’t be happier.
  3. My child turned 8.  Because I could, I took a few days off and we celebrated his birthday for many, many days, just hanging out and doing things he enjoys.  I was rewarded with excellent behavior and many, many hugs.
  4. My Twitter and FB feeds have been popping up with a lot of lists, lately.  Lists for writers, by writers, about how to write more better.  While I do think it is important to read what your would-be contemporaries and peers have to say about their own processes (because you can never have too many good ideas), I think it is dangerous to present “This is my process,” as, “This should be THE writing process.”  Writing is creating.  No one can tell you what your creative process is–sometimes, you can’t even explain it to anyone else.  If you want advice on how to write a book that sells, talk to agents, editors, and publishers, not artists.  Artists can only tell you what THEY did to get sold.  So take the advice of artists with a grain of salt.  Take the advice of those who sell the actual art very seriously.
  5. Recently, I have seen a lot of things that have made me want to ask, “What the devil do you have on your head?”  Most of those things were hairstyles.
  6. I was helping my mother move some things around, and I found a bunch of Elvis records.  This made me remember that I was behind the Arcadia Theater in 1988, watching Simon Le Bon vandalize the backstage door.  Someone had written, “Elvis is King,” and he add the letters W-A-N to the front of the last word.  Now, I cannot see Elvis without giggling.  Elvis is King.  Elvis is WANKing.  Naughty.
  7. I also found some photos from 1996.  You know what is the worst part of breaking up with someone?  Finding old pictures where you look so freaking amazing, but are posed so that your erstwhile love cannot be removed from the photo.
  8. I also took a vacation from the news while I was spending time with The Boy.  I have come back to it today, and wish I’d remained ignorant.  Not really, but geez.
  9. Ant bite on my ankle.  Ow.
  10. Dear True Blood, If you give Tara Hep-V (without a cure arc), we are FINISHED.  Sincerely, Me
  11. I always find it fascinating when [this particular one of] my former employers are in the news.  Fascinating and repulsive.

*Specifically called a Listicle for Arwen.

books, Cozy Cat Press, Interview with the Author

Interview with the Author: Julie Seedorf and her Crook Hooking Granny

the outside lane

It’s time to meet another Cozy Cat author!  Who do we have today?  Why, Julie Seedorf, of course.  Who is Julie Seedorf?

Julie Seedorf is a Minnesotan. She calls dinner, supper, and lunch, dinner. She has had many careers over her life time but her favorite career was motherhood. Later in life, she opened her own business as a computer technician, but you can’t keep a wordsmith silent.  She also writes a column for southern Minnesota area newspapers called “Something About Nothing.

“Granny Hooks A Crook” is her first book for Cozy Cat Press. Her children’s book, “Whatchamacallit? Thingamajig?” was her first self-published book.  Her theory is that we all take ourselves too seriously and we need to have a little fun. She secretly yearns to be like the Granny characters in her books.

Girls AND Grannies just want to have fun.

The Outside Lane:  Tell us about GRANNY HOOKS A CROOK.

Julie Seedorf:  Granny leads a secret life in the small, unique community of Fuschia, Minnesota. It’s not just her all junk food diet, multiplying pets, or her shocking bedtime attire that makes Granny one in a million. Believe it or not, Granny is an undercover cop, charged by “the Big Guy” (the town’s police chief) with preventing theft in local stores. Granny takes her job seriously and daily foils many shoplifters using her trusty spiked umbrella and amazing acting skills. When some startlingly brazen burglaries begin to occur that Granny can’t solve, along with mysteriously appearing bad guys, disappearing clerks, and misplaced Corvettes, Granny begins to wonder if she isn’t ready for the wrinkle farm. Maybe, it’s fortuitous when she accidentally-on-purpose falls in the lap of an attractive older gentleman who is soon roped into her wild adventures, as they try to figure out what’s happening in their little town.

Who can resist fan art?

TOL:  That sounds like fun!  What about…whatsamahoosit?

JS:  WHATCHAMACALLIT? THINGAMAJIG?  This is a children’s book.  You see, Abby had her fingers full of chocolate cookie dough. She was putting her fingers to her mouth to sample a taste while no one was looking. Maggie, who was helping, had her back turned to Abby. She was sneaking a couple of chocolate chips out of the bag and into her mouth before she gave the bag to Abby to add the chips to the cookies. Both of them had their hands halfway to their mouth when the phone rang. They jumped and quickly dropped their hands to their sides as cousin Brady ran into the kitchen and snatched up the phone.

“Brady, Brady, all of you have to come quickly. I need your help,” screamed Grandma.

Yes Grandma is in trouble again and four cousins scramble to her aid. What they find when they look for her is a ransacked house, a missing Grandma and clues they don’t understand. What they learn about Grandma leaves them wide eyed and open mouthed.

TOL:  How did you start writing?

JS:  I started writing as a teenager. I found my love of writing when I took my first creative writing class my junior year in high school. Through the years I dabbled and wrote newspaper articles and things just for me. Occasionally I took college writing classes. When I was younger there was not much support to become a writer. It was not realistic so I followed the normal path and married, became a mom, worked various jobs and did a lot of volunteer work where I could use my creativity. It wasn’t until later life when I had a bad fall and was laid up for months that I started dreaming and writing again. That was when my column started. It took another illness and encouragement from my grandchildren to write my first book “Whatchamacallit? Thingamajig? Just for them. During that illness I realized that life is too short to not go for your dream or to use the gifts God has given you and writing “Granny Hooks A Crook” took me out of that illness and to become the person I had left behind.

TOL:  Where do your ideas come from?

JS:  Ideas come very easy to me. I get quirky ideas and the only way I can explain it is that they come from God. I used to write services for our church. I would say no, and then God would put the service in my head. So God.

A divinely inspired duo of books by Julie Seedorf.

TOL:  Who is your favorite character?

JS:  Granny, my main character, is probably the person that hides inside of all of us. We just don’t let it out. We forget the child inside and let society tell us we are old. Perhaps Granny is who I would like to be like in later years.

TOL:  Thank you so much, Judy!  Where do we find more information about you and your books?

JS:  Visit my website at http://www.julieseedorf.com, My blog: http://www.justalittelfluff.com, or my Facebook Page http://www.facebook.com/sprinklednotes.

Advice, Economics, Explaining the Strange Behavior, music

Sara Bareilles, Katy Perry, and Selling Out.

the outside lane

Today, I want to eat everything in the world, but only if it is a carb.  I think I could eat a whole basket of bagels without feeling a morsel of regret.  Maybe a twinge of it, but only because I would realize the whole basket was gone, and I wanted more.

Normally, I’m not much of a bread person, but today I want to find a giant bread mountain and just start gnawing my way through it. 

What else is new?

My boy turns 8 this weekend.  I have no idea where the time has gone.  I have no idea where the summer has gone.  He starts school again in two weeks, and all those good intentions I had of doing flashcards and times tables?  Listen, my road to hell is extremely well paved.  It is the yellow brick road of roads to hell.

Katy Perry may have ripped off two different artists in writing and creating a video for her new song Roar.  First of all, I cannot get the song out of my head, and I don’t really mind.  I kind of like it.  I caught myself humming it earlier.  I listened to the Sara Bareilles “version” last night and it is stunningly similar.  Stunningly to the point of Perry’s really being a cover version with new lyrics.  And that’s the difference mass market appeal makes.

You sing your song, and no1curr.  Elvis Presley sings your song, and it’s an overnight sensation.  Bareilles is too serious a musician to ever dress like a smurf and date Russell Brand.  This is why Katy Perry will always have better market appeal.  That and the fact that Bareilles is indistinguishable from Anne Ramsay, whereas Perry is indistinguishable from Zoe Deschanel.  You are now asking yourself, “Who is Anne Ramsay?”  Exactly*.

If you’re an artist like Bareilles, you have a choice to make:  Always be a solid, reputable, decent selling indie artist, or just write songs for Katy Perry and become a multi-millionaire without ever having to tour the country on a stale smelling coach again.  I am lazy, so I would just write songs for Perry and feel moderately annoyed that I wasn’t getting the fame/recognition for them.  Then, I would go dive into my swimming pool filled with hundred dollar bills, and do the backstroke until I felt better.  That should take about as long as it would for me to remember I had a swimming pool filled with hundred dollar bills.

I have no concerns about being a sell out.  I would love to be a sell out.  Corporate America, call me!  I will totally sell you that little song I made up for Thor.  He won’t mind.  Or, he might mind for about as long as it takes for him to remember that he has a swimming pool filled with legos.

*Anne Ramsay played Helen Hunt’s older sister on Mad About You.

 

 

 

 

books, Cozy Cat Press, Interview with the Author

Interview with the Author: Blanche Day Manos

the outside lane

Now that I am part of the Cozy Cat Press family, I thought it would be nice to introduce you to some of the other fabulous felines making their homes there.  Today, you get to meet Blanche Manos.

The Outside Lane:  Blanche, how did you become a writer?

Blanche Day Manos:  I started writing when I was a youngster, inspired by Nancy Drew and by not having any friends nearby to play with. I created my own world with my words. As a child and later as an adult, I started writing poetry for children. I also wrote short articles on the importance of reading to children, books as a good baby shower gift, and my experience as an elementary school teacher.  

I wrote fiction for children and was published by several children’s magazines, including Cricket, Humpty Dumpty, Turtle, Guide, The Friend, Wee Wisdom, and others. I’ve also been published by confession magazines and Christian periodicals. I’ve written on assignment for many years for a Christian publication.

TOL:  Tell us about THE CEMETERY CLUB.
BDM:  Several years ago, a friend introduced me to Barbara Burgess, another northwest Arkansas writer. Since we are both of Cherokee heritage and have heard several legends about northeast Oklahoma and northwest Arkansas, we thought it might be fun to write a mystery incorporating our ideas and experiences and so, our first book, The Cemetery Club was born.
 
BDM:  And how did you come to Cozy Cat Press?
A:  A funny thing…when we finished our second book, Grave Shift, and queried Patricia Rockwell, she was interested in it but thought it might have a little too much violence for a cozy. We re-wrote and she liked it and took it for Cozy Cat Press.
 
TOL:  Tell us about Darcy and Flora, the main characters of your series.
BDM:  The main characters in our books are quite a bit like Barbara and me; our likes, our beliefs, and the closeness we shared with our parents. We like Darcy and Flora, our main characters and we like their small and fictional town of Levi, Oklahoma. 
 
TOL:  What’s next for your intrepid problem solvers?
BDM:  We are finishing our third Darcy/Flora book and I am thinking of maybe branching out on my own with a completely different series and a different protagonist. 
 
The second book in your series, GRAVE SHIFT, is getting rave reviews on Amazon.  What is it about? 
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When Darcy Campbell returned to her home town of Levi, Oklahoma, she longed for peace and healing from the recent loss of her husband. She found much more than she bargained for when two rare Oklahoma earthquakes, a villain with murder in his heart, and a mountain lion threaten her and her mother Flora Tucker. Being an investigative reporter on leave of absence from her Dallas newspaper, Darcy has an active curiosity which leads her into some dangerous places and nearly costs her her life. At last she solves a long-standing mystery in Levi and her grief begins to heal when the sheriff of Ventris County re-kindles an old flame in her heart.
 
TOL:  I can’t wait to read your books!  Where else can we find you?
BDM:  My website is www.BlancheDayManos.com, on Facebook, and on Google+ as Blanche Manos.
 
Of course you can find all of Blanche and Barbara’s books on Amazon.
 
Stay tuned for more Cozy Cat Press authors, and go visit Blanche’s website.  She has a great blog tucked in over there.