Today, I want to eat everything in the world, but only if it is a carb. I think I could eat a whole basket of bagels without feeling a morsel of regret. Maybe a twinge of it, but only because I would realize the whole basket was gone, and I wanted more.
Normally, I’m not much of a bread person, but today I want to find a giant bread mountain and just start gnawing my way through it.
What else is new?
My boy turns 8 this weekend. I have no idea where the time has gone. I have no idea where the summer has gone. He starts school again in two weeks, and all those good intentions I had of doing flashcards and times tables? Listen, my road to hell is extremely well paved. It is the yellow brick road of roads to hell.
Katy Perry may have ripped off two different artists in writing and creating a video for her new song Roar. First of all, I cannot get the song out of my head, and I don’t really mind. I kind of like it. I caught myself humming it earlier. I listened to the Sara Bareilles “version” last night and it is stunningly similar. Stunningly to the point of Perry’s really being a cover version with new lyrics. And that’s the difference mass market appeal makes.
You sing your song, and no1curr. Elvis Presley sings your song, and it’s an overnight sensation. Bareilles is too serious a musician to ever dress like a smurf and date Russell Brand. This is why Katy Perry will always have better market appeal. That and the fact that Bareilles is indistinguishable from Anne Ramsay, whereas Perry is indistinguishable from Zoe Deschanel. You are now asking yourself, “Who is Anne Ramsay?” Exactly*.
If you’re an artist like Bareilles, you have a choice to make: Always be a solid, reputable, decent selling indie artist, or just write songs for Katy Perry and become a multi-millionaire without ever having to tour the country on a stale smelling coach again. I am lazy, so I would just write songs for Perry and feel moderately annoyed that I wasn’t getting the fame/recognition for them. Then, I would go dive into my swimming pool filled with hundred dollar bills, and do the backstroke until I felt better. That should take about as long as it would for me to remember I had a swimming pool filled with hundred dollar bills.
I have no concerns about being a sell out. I would love to be a sell out. Corporate America, call me! I will totally sell you that little song I made up for Thor. He won’t mind. Or, he might mind for about as long as it takes for him to remember that he has a swimming pool filled with legos.
*Anne Ramsay played Helen Hunt’s older sister on Mad About You.
The Outside Lane 