How About a Car Review?

The B family drove off to Florida in early August, and since our cars are closing in on 70 in dog years we decided to rent one for the trip.  B arrived at the rental facility, where he was asked if he minded a few stains in the backseat.  Since that’s where Thor was going to sit, he went to check it out.  He said “a few stains” translated to “it looked like a murder had been committed in the backseat.”  So, he said no to the Camry we had expected, and accepted the upgrade to a black-on-black-leather Volkswagen CC.

We were extremely fortunate to have great weather all the way and some nice air conditioning, so being in the belly of a barbeque-mobile wasn’t ever a worry, but by the end of the trip, neither of us ever wanted to go near a VW again.

Here’s what we liked:

• It’s a good looking car.
• The a/c and heaters have dual regulators, so Driver and Passenger can have what suits them best.  And it really blows well!
• It comes equipped with a backup camera, and we got spoiled to that pretty quickly.
• I loved that you could just tap the cruise control to increase your speed.
• And…that’s it.

What we hated:

• Normally, either B, or I can get in and out of a car easily, and the other person has issues.  I’m 5’2″, and he’s nearly a foot taller.  Because the CC is so low to the ground, you’d think I would have an easy time getting in, and out, and B would be miserable.  Not so.  Both of us were miserable.  It was so bad that I let out this howl of frustration on one of the last stops on our trip home, calling the car a f-ckbucket.  I did.  Fortunately, Thor misheard me, and he’s been calling it a fartbucket.  It was not a fartbucket.  It was a f-ckbucket.  It was misery crawling in and out of it.  And crawling is what you had to do.  You had to kind of roll up, roll in, and then unfurl yourself again.  I felt like a pill bug.
• The seats are a big part of why it was so hard to get in, and out.  They are built to cradle you, and if you’re a size 6, I’ll bet it feels very cozy and wonderful.  I wear a 16.  I felt very squeezed and pinched, and was never comfortable.  Don’t get me started on the headrests.
• The gas and brake pedals are in weird places.
• The electronic key mechanism was, in B’s words, “A piece of sh-t.”
• The power points were poorly located.
• B didn’t like the cruise control (I did.)
• There was no leg room.  In the front seat, it felt like you were sliding your legs into a chute.  In the backseat, you were bending your knees down into a shallow box.  We felt bad for Thor, but he managed to find a way to sit sideways and make himself a nest.
• It rode really badly.  You felt every bump.
• The steering wheel was tiny, and it drove loose–you barely touched it, and you were off in the emergency lane.

It was just a terrible car.  Terrible.  Terrible.  Terrible.  Don’t buy one.