On the way to school this morning, I asked Thor, “Do you know what today is?” He said, “December 17?”
I said, “Yes. And do you know why that is special?”
I could see the little gears turning in his head, which he shook. “No.”
I told him, “December 17 is special because that is the date we found out we were getting you. December 17, 2004, Daddy and I found out we were having a baby. It was one of the best days of my life because out of everything in the world, you are the best thing that has ever happened to me.”
He smiled. “Because you love me.”
“More than anything in the world.”
“Because I’m yours.”
“Yes.”
The day we found out Thor was on his way, I was sick as a dog. I thought I had the flu. One of our cars was misfiring, and B was coming to pick me up, so we could go pick up the car from the mechanic. It was raining and terrible outside. Cold and wet.
I met B at the door with a positive Clear Blue Easy, and later that evening, we picked up several more just to be sure. I think we were both equal parts terrified and excited, and worried and happy.
That was nine years ago, today. Nine years ago, at this time of day, I just thought I was sick. I am so excited for the 6pm me! 6pm me knew a baby was on the way, but 6pm me had no idea how good life was about to get.
That kid is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I laugh every day. He has made me more genuinely optimistic, more open-minded, and more careful of others. He has expanded my capacity for love. He inspired me to grow a backbone. He has been the catalyst for many good things.
December 17 is special because, as Thor put it, “That’s when you knew there was the beginning of me.”
And I am so thankful for it.
The Outside Lane 