Does it bother anyone else that Rene Lenier is dating Snow White’s daughter?  I mean, Pam as Maleficent…okay.  I don’t buy it, but okay.  It’s still two angry, powerful, magical women.  But Rene?  He was a sociopath and serial killer, who tied a dead cat to a ceiling fan blade.  Rene cannot date Emma Swan.  This is what keeps me up at night.

In a similar vein, I have never read any of the Twilight books, or seen any of the movies.  I’ve seen the last 15 minutes of one of the movies on tv.  That happened when I walked into the living room and found Bryan sitting on the sofa, squinting at the television, his head tilted like a puppy who is trying to understand you.  I asked what he was watching, and he had no idea.  I sat down to try to make sense of blue-washed fight scene, realized what we were watching, and had to watch it out because…awful.  So very terrible.  The wigs even.  The wigs were just…I don’t even know.  Terrible.

If you watch tv at all, the press tour for the latest and last of the Twilight movies is unavoidable.  I’ve seen the trailers and was very happy for Kristen Stewart because they finally got her a pretty wig, and looks lovely.  Then, I saw a shot of the rest of the vampire family and laughed out loud.  How hard is it to get a good wig?  Someone from their makeup department needs to call Cher and just ask a girlfriend who does her hair pieces.  Cher is a lovely, generous woman.  I’m sure she would be happy to share.

There was an equally terrible wig on True Blood last season.  The character Salome looked like she’d grabbed something off the hair rack at the Dollar Store, teased it up and used eyelash glue to work down the front.  Wigs aren’t rocket science.  It isn’t hard to find one that doesn’t look like a doll factory reject.  I know–I grew up with women who wore them on the regular.  I grew up with women who took their wigs to the beautician for a set whenever they got their own. 

Maybe what these people need is a sit down with Lenore, of Lenore’s Hair.