I was thinking, today, that when we are children, life just happens to us.  We may be presented with some limited choices, but for the most, we are just handed our lives.  We are handed what we will eat, what we will wear, our hairstyles, our language, our decor, our environment, our surroundings entirely.  In the teen years, as we are presented with more choices, we start learning to make life happen for ourselves, and we start dying our hair, wearing crazy shoes, speaking our made-up slanguages, papering our rooms in posters, contributing to the overall atmosphere, and pressing to exert ourselves even further.

If the process works well, then by the time we graduate high school, we have a very good idea of how to go make something happen for ourselves.  We go make college, or jobs, or relationships happen, then we spend about ten years figuring out what we are really like.  Are we the forest and navy striped polos Mom used to make us wear?  Or are we the ragged Anarchy in the UK tshirt we wore out Senior year?  Or are we somewhere in between?  Are we the curls and huge bows Mom thought were so cute, or are we the buzz cut with the chin length bangs?  We learn the balance of extremes.

If things don’t go as nature intended, we end up stunted in areas, and it takes much, much longer to find a balance between dogged loyalty to the choices that were once made for us, or keeping a self-defeating grip on the first choices we made straight out of puberty.  I am an excellent example of both of these defects, and I was in my very late 30s before I started feeling my way into some balance. 

…and after the phone call I just took, my equalibrium is way off. 

It seems like Life has decided the best way for me to get information is by letting me experience the down side of everything first.  AUGH!