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Women Worth Knowing: Meet Renae

the outside lane

It is impossible not to like Renae.  Unless you are one of those people who hates other people out of sheer jealousy, it is 100% impossible not to like Renae.  Every thing about her works, even her hair.  I met Renae at a birthday party, and I liked her instantly.  She was smart, and funny, generous with her welcome–just as I’ve come to know she always is.

She is implacable, unique, and manages to be many things to many different people.

If you want to come out to someone over a tuna sandwich at lunchtime, Renae is your girl.  If you want to plan a spontaneous trip to Ireland, call Renae.  If you’re going to go camping, and a tornado is going to come through and try to tear apart your tent, and you need someone to save you from blowing away, Renae.  If you need to show up on a doorstep, sobbing, broken heart in your hands, Renae will let you in, feed you cereal, and listen while you snot your way through the unfairness of love.  Well, maybe she won’t let you in, but I know where she lives, and more importantly, I knew where she lived when I was the one doing the snotting.  And that right there is why I will always love Renae.  That, and because she actually picked my nose once.  You know someone loves you when they will pick your nose.

I do try to keep myself out of introductions.  Since I’m telling you what I like about people, it requires a certain amount of involvement, but I do try to keep it about the person you’re meeting.  With Renae, I have to tell you a little more about myself so you’ll understand why I think she is so special.

Until I met Renae, I didn’t like girls much.  I didn’t trust them.  I didn’t know many I respected. I thought they were all backstabbing brats, and more than one of them proved my point for me.  I preferred the company of men, and didn’t mind telling you so.  I had a couple of girls who had been friends since my youth, but I hadn’t made any real female friends after the age of fourteen.  Oh, I had friends who were girls, but it was more a case of me being their friend.  I rarely let anyone else be my friend.  That is, I refused to be vulnerable to another woman.

But Renae isn’t just any other woman, and I fell head over heels in friend-love with her from the get-go.  Renae was my first real adult friendship, and she was the girlfriend who made it possible for me to see the wonder of having female friends.  She allowed me to be vulnerable.  My friendship with Renae made every other friendship that came after hers possible.  I owe Amy, and Arwen, and Irene, and Nicole, and Charlcye, and all the rest of you to Renae.

Renae makes plans and she sticks to them.  She actually does what she says she is going to do.  If she tells you that her life plan entails X happening, then two years passing and Y happening, and two more years passing before Z happens, then you can set your watch to Z and not worry about missing an appointment.  She is self-disciplined and self-assured, and completely and utterly oblivious to how amazing she is.  You know that song She Don’t Know She’s Beautiful?  That’s Renae.

While she is absolute to her values and morals, she is enough of a cipher to filter what she finds most interesting in her peer group though her beliefs and wear them like the latest fashion.  She is open to change.  She is open to learn.  She is open to life.

At her wedding, I toasted her saying that I was glad she never had to spend another Valentine’s Day with me as her date.  I meant that sincerely.  But you know what?  Valentine’s Day dates with Renae were always good.  I hope all of you know someone like her.

Meet Renae.

Name: Renae
Age Range: 30s—barely.
Preferred Job Title: Program Director
Industry: Non-Profit, Social Services

Describe your family: My mom and my dad are both from small, farming communities in the Texas panhandle and they are just all-around good people, and very proud of me and my sisters. I have two younger sisters. We don’t get to see each other as much as we would like but we talk every week. Both are married to great guys and so I feel like I have two brothers now, as well. My middle sister has a one-year-old daughter, and both of my sisters are currently pregnant. Yay! I love being an aunt…I can give a lot of love but I don’t have to worry about how to pay for their education. Much to my parents’ delight, I am married to a great man. He’s funny, hard working and at any given moment has at least three new projects or hobbies. I’ve learned about wine, rock climbing, flying, gardening, cooking, and playing guitar, to name a few things just by being around him. His favorite interest, though, never changes. He loves me and wants to make me happy. He succeeds. We have two incredible children together, a high-spirited daughter who’s two and my little man, a beautiful son who’s five months old. I could write about them forever. Let’s just say I’m smitten and think they are pretty terrific. I really hit the jackpot with my in-laws, too. I adore my mother-in-law, and I’ve grown to think of his family as simply my own. I have great friends who I consider family. I also have Zoe, a dachshund I’ve had for nearly 10 years. She’s seen me through turning 30 as a single woman, getting married, two pregnancies, two babies and now tolerates being covered in Disney stickers by a two-year old. She would be very angry if I didn’t include her in this [ed. note:  she’s not kidding.]

What does the first hour of your day look like? Prior to the baby, I would wake up and head to the Y for a run first thing in the morning. Now, while he’s still waking during the night and I’m feeding him at odd times, that’s much more sporadic. He’s usually my alarm clock. He wakes me up and I feed him, dress him, shower and get myself ready while my husband is getting our breakfast and getting all the “stuff” our kiddos need ready. We get our two-year old dressed and fed and all four of us are out the door by 7am.

The last hour? Making sure our two-year-old is in bed asleep, feeding the baby, watching something we’ve recorded on tv and just basking in the glow of surviving another day with two young children.

What makes you feel successful? I enjoy my work and I’ve found that since having children, my time away from them is very valuable-I want it to count for something. I feel successful when I’ve done something that will further the mission of my agency and when I’ve personally helped someone make life better. I feel successful each day when I prepare the bottles of breastmilk for my baby for the following day—any working, breastfeeding mom who pumps knows that sense of accomplishment! It is a big deal. Overall, my idea of success has changed since I’ve had children. They are my successes. Oh, yeah, I do feel pretty successful when I finish a run, whether it’s a half-marathon, 10k or even 5k. Being included in this project with these other great women feels pretty good, too!

What brings you joy? A note from my husband in my lunch box. Picking up my children in the afternoons. Seeing friends. Doing something for people I love that I know they will enjoy. Saturday mornings, in bed with hubby and both kids, just playing and talking. Watching my kids, anytime, anywhere.

What women do you admire? Oh, so many. I admire women like Corrie ten Boom, Jane Adams, the six women who founded Le Leche League, Clara Barton-women who righted wrongs and made a difference on a large scale. I also really admire the women I surround myself with…my mom, my mother-in-law, my husband’s aunt, my sisters, my friends. Some of them have overcome amazing obstacles and rather than become bitter, they are deeply feeling, caring, strong, funny, loving souls. They may not be on People Magazine’s list of remarkable women (does that really exist?) but they make a difference in the lives of the people they touch and I admire them.

What do you like best about your closest friend? I have a number of people who wear that label at different times, in different situations and what I like most is knowing I can always count on them and knowing they can make me laugh. What’s the saying? A friend will help you move, a good friend will help you move a body. I’ve got lots of good friends, even though I haven’t needed to move any bodies…yet.

What do you like best about yourself? I don’t give up. I work hard and I care about making things better. I have a good sense of humor and I try to treat others well. I think I have the ability to make other people feel good about themselves.

What advice would you give boys about girls? Having one of each, I spent some time thinking about this question. Treat them well and show them respect, knowing that’s a two-way street. It’s amazing how our thinking changes when we see everything through the eyes of “this could be my daughter or this could be my son”.

How do you overcome adversity? With equal parts of humor, determination and faith. It also helps to have good people to surround you, when needed.

How do you want to be remembered? Fondly! A good woman, daughter, wife, friend, and above all, a good mother.

Women Worth Knowing

Women Worth Knowing: Meet Heidi

the outside lane

As the Women Worth Knowing project expands, you will start to see introductions coming from women you’ve met through the project.  Today, Amy introduces you to Heidi.  I think you’re really going to love Heidi.

Amy on the left, Heidi on the right.

“When I met Heidi at an ice cream parlor she immediately taught me the “Pete and Repeat were in a boat” joke. Two months later we shared a 7th birthday party—something we would do for almost every birthday for more years than I care to specify. Our parents married and we became sisters. Because we were the same age (born 3 days apart) we shared everything. It didn’t work out for our parents but for me and Heidi it was till death do us part.

 I have been in awe of Heidi since childhood. She was the first person I knew in Green Peace. She taught me about recycling before I understood algebra. She helped me learn German so we could speak freely in a very crowded house, and from that we developed our own twin language. Heidi was the leader of all of my early adventures. It was with Heidi that I got drunk the first time. It was with Heidi that I snuck out the first time—and the first two dozen times. Heidi patiently nursed me through my first broken heart. With Heidi I skipped school routinely to walk to the store and buy Chupa Chups. With Heidi I cut 15 minutes of class every day for a semester so we could wait for our boyfriends outside the Chem Lab.  Heidi is an outdoors girl to her core and it was with Heidi that I developed my love of sleeping in tents. Heidi can man a canoe like nobody’s business. When Heidi was a camp counselor I watched her mesmerize kids with the wonder that is pond scum (that’s no joke; Heidi can spin a tale better than Sherazade).

 My favorite memory of Heidi comes from our camp counseling days. Late night thievery of the camp kitchen is a right of passage for counselors, but it was Heidi’s idea to steal a case of wintergreen Certs so we could bite them in the dark and watch each other’s sparks. We spent night after night sitting on a cliff with our legs dangling 30 feet above Lake Erie and the freshest breath in the world, giggling at each others sparks and planning our futures. Give Heidi the raw materials of any boring day and she will infallibly create an adventure.

 Now we’re all grown up and I’m still in awe of Heidi. She’s a wife and mother, a nurse, a homeowner, and yet she’s still a firecracker. She can still mesmerize me with her stories. She can sing every word to every Beatles song ever written. She can still tap dance a blue streak across her kitchen floor. She’s still the bleeding heart that will take in stray animals. And I can still trust her with all of my secrets. So it is with great pleasure that I introduce the coolest chick ever to emerge from northwestern Pennsylvania.”

Meet Heidi.

Name: Heidi
Age Range:  30’s by year, 22 at heart
Preferred Job Title: Registered Nurse
Industry:  I work in a 28 bed surgical/trauma ICU. This means if you need your heart cut into or you wreck your 4 Wheeler in Northwestern PA, I am your consequence.

Describe your family:   The absolute single most important thing in my life! I have enough brothers and sisters to clean out the Pizza Hut buffet in one visit. We are all very close and are eachothers best friends. I view it as this, our parents may have been divorced, but that doesn’t mean we have to stop being sisters. As for my own brood, I have three of the most amazing daughters ever born! (Raegan is 14, Olivia is 8, and Sophie will be 3 in June) My husband, Allen, is fast becoming one of my favorite people, even if it took 10 years.

What does the first hour of your day look like?  UGH! I am NOT a morning person at all. But my girls go to a school that doesn’t bus from my area. So, I wake up at 6:45, perform all the tasks sung in the “Mom Opera” (if you haven’t heard it, go to youtube….hilarious), tighten my mop of curls into a semi-respectable ponytail, and drive them to school. Usually I am still in my pj’s but as I see it, if I don’t exit the minivan, I only have to look decent from the armpit up.

On nights I work it is even better, Allen drops the kids off at the hospital at 6:40, they wait in the staff breakroom until I get done then we go down to the cafeteria and get some highly nutricious breakfast, then to school we go. As a result, seeing bandaged, gray people hooked to 40 different machines and tubes sticking out of every oraface extant is nothing to my kids.

The last hour?  AHHH! My favorite time! After everyone is tucked in, the crumbs and toys from the day are picked up, dogs fed, and laudry running I curl up in bed with either a book or a Sudoku puzzle and fall asleep to the soft hum of Allen’s CPAP machine.

What makes you feel successful?    When my kids make a moral and caring decision. And secondly, obviously, saving lives.

What brings you joy?  Wine….Seriously, I am never happier then when I am cruising in the minivan, windows down, music blasting and all three of the girls and I are singing along to Journey on the mp3.

What women do you admire?  I absolutely am awe inspired by strong, successful, independent women who haven’t lost their caring touch. There is just no need to be a b*$%h to get ahead. I look at the adversities my sisters have overcome, and am always so proud of their strength.

What do you like best about your closest friend?  I have a few very close friends. Collectively I admire their senses of humor, intelligence, and loyalty. If I could combine Amy’s wit, Sarah’s strength, Rachel’s brain (and a touch of her fasion sense), Jenny’s good heart and Jim’s “Peter Pan syndrome” I would have the perfect friend.

What do you like best about yourself?   I feel I have two main gifts given to me to use to benefit the people around me. One is my sense of caring and genuine concern and love for mankind. Seeing the good in people is so much more powerful and useful than seeing the bad. Also, and I feel funny saying this, but I am a smart cookie. Oh, and I have pretty great hair. So, I guess that’s three.

What advice would you give boys about girls?   Stay away from my daughters you little horny noobs. Seriously, I would love to tell them all how to respect and love a girl even when she can’t do it herself. I hate seeing young girls abuse themselves to try and get a guys attention. It breaks my heart.

How do you overcome adversity?    Um, can I say wine again? Actually, this is a very hard thing for me. I would much rather avoid conflict then face it. However, when I must, I remind myself that I am worth it, that if I don’t teach my girls that everyone deserves to be treated with respect, no one will. So I rehearse what I need to say and hope against hope that I don’t cry.

How do you want to be remembered?    I just want my family to know that I loved them wholly. It would be nice if there were a few stories floating around the family or the nursing unit that made people laugh and remember my crazy side as well (as long as nobody ever watches the 30th birthday party video EVER again).

Uncategorized, Women Worth Knowing

Batting a Lash

the outside lane

I started the Women Worth Knowing project because I have such great friends and I feel a little sorry for people who don’t know them.  Soon, I’ll be posting a profile for Rachel, but I kind of can’t wait, so I’m linking you to her websites ahead of time.  See, Rachel just sent me some YSL mascara, and I love it so much I want to wash my face and reapply it every fifteen minutes, and I was just thinking about how great it is, and that made me think about how special Rachel is, and I just can’t wait.

If you live in NY, NJ, or PA and need a makeup artist, or just want better eyelashes than anyone else you know, contact her.

Her professional makeup artist site is Custom Pink

Viva La Lashes is her site for eyelash extensions

Women Worth Knowing

Women Worth Knowing: Meet Charlcye

the outside lane

Charlcye (CHARL-see) is one of those rare women who nearly defy description.  I would swear that the lyrics to Drops of Jupiter were written about her, given that she acts like summer and walks like rain, but I knew her when the song came out and am pretty sure she’s never met Train.  Then again, it’s Charlcye.  She may very well have met and charmed, and been muse for that song.  She keeps her mysteries.  Not secrets.  Secrets are mundane, and there is nothing mundane about this woman.

I met Charlcye when we worked in the same department, and a few years later ended up working for her.  It was a blissful year, and I was incredibly sorry when a merger upended our happy arrangement.  However, once we were no longer coworkers, or in a manager/employee relationship, I got to know Charlcye as a friend–you should always ask for that in a severance package.  Your HR department might look at you funny, but you should definitely always try to get “and a friendship with Charlcye” out of any deal.

To the eye, Charlcye would appear to be carefree and wild.  She would appear to listen like Spring and talk like June.  But look closer.  There is method to her motion.  She is like a hummingbird, appearing only to flit and zip, and dart toward color in a flicker of movement, but in those short strokes, she is solid and serious, and drinking deeply from whatever has caught her interest.  There is nothing shallow about her.  Every click of her high heel is measured.  Every toss of her hair is pre-considered.  Every question she asks you is meaningful to her.

She once told me that she loves meeting anyone because everyone is a wonderful story waiting to be told.  Let her tell you hers.

Meet Charlcye.

Name: Charlcye
Age Range: 30 FOREVER
Preferred Job Title:  Investor in Real Estate, Travel, and Relationships
Industry:  Real Estate

Who are you :  somewhere in the many labels placed upon me you get a true sense of who I am:  Christ-Follower, Free Spirit, Goddess of Travel, Wife, Step-Mummy, Lover, BFF, Soul Sister, Vegetarian, Business Owner, Libertarian, Writer, Poet, Wanderer, Activist, Executive, Sabbatical Supporter, Urban Nomad, God-Mummy, Philanthropist, Connector, Highly Directive (not bossy…lol), Dream Coach, Empath, Life Builder, Pet Rescuer, Creative Soul, Daughter, and Earth Explorer.

Describe your family: Husband Mike, 3 daughters, 2 dogs, 1 cat (package deal when I said “I do” in 2008 – from single/no pets to instant family).  Mum (Spiritual Mentor), dad (my BFF), and my dearest Aunt Sharon (offers encouragement, inspiration, and unconditional love).  I believe in creating my family by carefully selecting and adding people to my life – coining them “family” promises a commitment for Forever.

What does the first hour of your day look like? Looking to see where I am (always hopeful I’m in a hotel in a far-away city); yoga stretches to wake up and to breath correctly; listen to Public Radio updates on the world (90.1 KERA); dress and paint The Canvas (my outer shell) for the day according to agenda, weather, and feelings; kiss Mi Amor good bye for the day; determine my Intentions for the day.

The last hour? Yoga stretches; remove makeup; change into attire for Dreamland; recap day in Gratitude Journal; review/update Prayer List; tell dogs and cat good night and to sleep well; kiss Mi Amor good night and wish him Bon Voyage into Dreamland.   Identify intentions for amazing dreams and waking up rested.

What makes you feel successful? I equate success with making a difference.  Success for me is realized when I see or hear from someone about a positive difference because of my direct involvement in his/her life.

What brings you joy? Times that I am completely in the moment with no distractions – these are the moments I cherish most.  Music that resonates with my soul, music or words that connects my spirit with God, sitting in cafes writing in my journal, and watching an independent film and feeling a shift in my focus that is changing my life.

What women do you admire? Tough question, so many amazing women with qualities and responses to life that I admire.  My Mum gives freely her time, energy, and finances without any expectations in return; her legacy will live on for generations.  Betsey Johnson created her life, her eccentric fashion line, while overcoming being a single mum, seasoned divorcee, and breast cancer survivor.  Mother Teresa for sacrificing for others and yet being awesomely aware of her soul’s cravings.

What do you like best about your closest friend? Both he and she know my heart, my soul (mind, will, and emotions), my darkness and are not afraid, they know and encourage the light in me that when allowed can shine forth.  Unconditional love.

What do you like best about yourself? I am fully integrated, self-reflective, awake and see.  I connect with people and can learn from anyone I meet; I strive to see the magic moments of life.   Adventurous, tenacious, deep thinker.  I take inventory, experience being truly sorry, and seek forgiveness when my actions or attitudes have been less the Best Possible Me.

What advice would you give boys about girls? 1. Every decision has a consequence – indecision is a consequence. Choose your consequences wisely.  2. “Crushes” can last up to a year and are only chemicals in the brain showing you similarities and “feel good” moments.  Love lasts and needs values and morals that are the same to build the foundation for a lasting love. You will “love” several but can only build a healthy life with a select few.   3. Never let anyone believe he/she is more special to you than they are – don’t break hearts and stop others from damaging other humans.   4. Don’t believe the lies society tells you:  high school -> college-> marriage-> suburbs-> children.  FIND YOUR PATH; only get married if you truly mean “forever”, don’t have children unless your decisions will be for their best interest, don’t have children to feel loved or to live out your plans through them, don’t live in the suburbs if you are a Urbanite or Downtowner.   5.  Watch for the Moments of Clarity.  Talk to strangers.  Travel by yourself.  Wander with no destination in mind.  Explore all possibilities.

How do you overcome adversity? With my faith in God and the support of my friends and family.

How do you want to be remembered? I hope that others would place on my epitaph:  “ Believer in possibilities, Embraced others Souls,  Aligned her Spirit with God’s plans, and Lived until her last breath.”

Women Worth Knowing

Women Worth Knowing: Meet Jennifer

the outside lane

Jennifer was one of the prettiest babies I have ever seen.  She was a headful of platinum blonde curls, big brown eyes, and little pink cheeks.  My earliest memory of her is watching my aunt feed her dinner at our grandmother’s kitchen table.  She was eating field peas mixed in with butter beans, and couldn’t have been much more than a year old, which would have made me five. 

Jenny.

See, in my mind’s eye, Jennifer is still Jenny.  She is stuck at 4 years old, the first summer we spent together at our grandparents’ home, tan and rosy, running around in a bubble suit romper, alternately chasing or being chased by Oscar, the family Boxer.  We had three full summers together, and were alternately good and awful to one another.  She would break my toys, and I would do my best to terrify her out of sleeping.  But she also put up with me using her for a hair model, and was blessedly patient with me while I lectured her on makeup and beauty routines.

She was the first out of the six of the cousins to get married and have babies, and she’s been an excellent model of homemaker and mother.  Her children are polite.  They are well-mannered.  They are helpful and good.  They are smart and work hard in school.  That’s a reflection of their mom.  Not a bad mirror at all. 

Jennifer is creative and funny.  She makes these cakes that should be on Food Network.  She really understands the mechanics of keeping house.  Now listen, I admire this.  I really admire women who know how to keep house and have order–I don’t.  That’s not my gift.  Jennifer’s house could be a magazine set.

She’s a lovely grown woman, but she’ll always be that pretty little girl to me.

Meet Jennifer.

Name: Jennifer Nestell
Age Range: 30s
Preferred Job Title: Domestic Goddess/Student
Industry: Home making

Describe your family: Full of men…So at all times there is chaos, messiness, and smells that you wouldn’t believe. But I couldn’t imagine my life any other way.

What does the first hour of your day look like? The first half hour of my day, begins by making sure my boys get up on time, eat breakfast, brush their teeth, and make it to the bus stop. The second half is me washing my face contemplating going back to sleep. But that never seems to work out that way.

The last hour? Relaxing and talking to my husband about our days, uninterrupted.

What makes you feel successful? Watching my family meet their goals and excelling at what they love.

What brings you joy? My kids coming up to me out of nowhere and telling me they love me and that I am a good mom. My Lesa. =)

What women do you admire? I would have to say my Mom, my Grandma, and my Aunt Donna. They all have taught me many things. Mainly to be strong and to fight for my family! So that is what I do. I am grateful to have them in my life.

What do you like best about your closest friend? My bestie Lesa goodness what is not to like?? She is the most loyal person I know! She can laugh in any situation and well she just brings me joy.

What do you like best about yourself? The same thing I hate about myself. I trust too easily.

What advice would you give boys about girls? Always treat them with respect!

How do you overcome adversity? With Gods help.

How do you want to be remembered? Well I want my husband to remember that I am the sexiest woman alive. And that he will never do any better then me. My kids to remember that I love them at ALL times and that they always come first!! My extended family that even though we don’t get to see each other a lot I love you all and think of you often. And my friends that it doesn’t get any more loyal, loving and dependable then me! Anyone else can remember me however they like!