To kick off The Outside Lane’s holiday shopping/need it list, is Stephanie Daulton Perry, creator and instructor of the DBarre fitness method. If you are local to DFW, Stephanie is the person to know for body sculpting. These deals are REALLY fantastic!
Stephanie at work at Abundio's.
Here is a list of all the specials we are running at Abundio’s Studio www.abundioktc.com for the month of December! Why not start your fitness resolutions NOW or give a friend or family member the gift of fitness. Each week we are featuring a different special ranging from discounts on unlimited packages, 5 and 10 class packages and on private lessons! Abundio’s Studio offereres group classes in Barre, Boxing and Cardio Kickboxing. Private lessons are offered in Barre, Weight Training, Boxing, Martial Arts and Stretching! All the classes and or private lessons are done by the owner Abundio Munoz or by myself, Stephanie Perry. Below is the info with all the awesome December Specials! Come try D Barre www.dbarre.com , the popular workout that’s sweeping the nation promising a toned and lifted tush, trimmer thighs, leaner arms and a defined core!
We are not just thankful for you on this day, but everyday! So this year we want to say thank you by offering you some pretty amazing deals to keep you fit during all those holiday parties and we also realize it can be a little tight while buying so many gifts.
Dec. 1st-10th:
Unlimited Monthly Kickboxing OR Barre for $100 ($50 Savings!)
-OR-
Unlimited Monthly Kickboxing AND Barre for $150 ($100 Savings!)
(Limit 1 per person)
Dec. 11th-17th:
30 minute personal training sessions with Abundio or Stephanie for $30 each!
(Savings of $30! Limit 10 per person.)
Dec. 18th-24th:
5 and 10 Class Packages-$20 off!
(Limit 3 per person.)
Dec. 25th-Dec. 31st:
Bring a new friend to class for $5 class ($10 Savings) and you get a free class pass!
During the entire month of December, we will offer the opportunity to start-and stay fit during the New Year. You’ll save tons and be kept accountable to your goals by not dropping out mid-January with the following:
Kickboxing -OR-Barre
6 Month Unlimited for $700 ($200 Savings!)
12 Month Unlimited for $1,200 ($600 Savngs!)
Kickboxing -AND- Barre
6 Month Unlimited for $1,300 ($200 Savings!)
12 Month Unlimited for $2,400 ($600 Savings!)
*Any of these specials are able to have an activation date of your choice.
B and I started (and caught up completely with) Boardwalk Empire recently. Aside from the gore and non-stop parade of boobies*, I really enjoy the show. It has a) the most beautiful costumes on television, b) the most beautiful hair on television (Kelly MacDonald, I’m talking about you), and c) one of my all-time favorite actors and weird crushes, Steve Buscemi. (He won me over with Ghost World.)
*Parades of Boobies made me think of this:
The other night, B mentioned the potential for a new law in Saudi Arabia, forcing women with pretty eyes to cover them up. [Story here, and also worth mentioning how romantically B brought the story up, after having been gazing into my eyes…hee!] Ladies with “tempting” eyes could be forced to hide their peepers, in order to keep men from lusting.
Worn for your lustproof protection.
I was trying to think how we could help these men, because if eyeballs are enough to jimmy their johnsons, then the shape of a woman’s head in her veil might do the trick too. What I came up with was a version of the old Karate-Kid-in-a-shower costume, where the ladies wear halos of metal that start above their heads, enshrouding them in dark cloth that falls to their feet, and does not touch their body at any point.
Rather than the shower head, they would have a periscope for navigation. That way, a man would never have to be tempted by any part of the woman. Granted, there will always be the trollops whose gait makes those shower curtains sway alluringly, so there really isn’t a fix at all.
My modest proposal is that the men who find themselves affected by lust, whose own eyes offend them, should pluck out those eyes. The problem isn’t the ladies, boys. The problem is you.
And, the problem is repression. When you ask people to pretend that they aren’t AT ALL interested in having sex, you are asking people to deny an innate need and function. Sex, like eating, sleeping, and pooping, is a biological imperative. And just like eating, sleeping, and pooping, sex can be fantastic fun, or even boring with awful repercussions. It’s just a thing.
There is nothing wrong with wanting to do it. There is nothing wrong with doing it. You just have to be intelligent about it. You don’t eat rat poison pellets, you don’t sleep on railroad tracks, you don’t poop in the refrigerator, you don’t have sex indiscriminately or without protection.
Because eating/sleeping/pooping can’t get you (or anyone else) pregnant, you do have to take some extra precautions with sex. My advice is this: Only have actual sex with someone when you can afford to have and are okay with the idea of having babies with them. Be sure they feel the same way, otherwise, it can end up being a lifetime of poop in the refrigerator**.
If we allow ourselves to feel biological impulses without glorifying or denying them, then we are a lot less likely to try to quash all triggers. When you have a healthy idea of sex and sexuality, then a girl with pretty eyes is just that: A girl with pretty eyes. When you are unhealthy, she is a devil woman, just trying to tempt and trap you with her long, luscious lashes.
I’d like us all to be healthy. In private, of course.
**Ultimate “poop in the refrigerator” scenario to me is getting pregnant out of wedlock, then having to share custody of an infant child with someone I wouldn’t even want to date. Can you imagine how awful that would feel? It’s bad enough taking your baby to daycare, but you know you are paying those professionals to keep the baby healthy. I cannot even imagine having to turn my child over to some yokel every weekend, who may, or may not remember to feed him–or might not feed him on purpose. Or worse. Guh. I can’t stand the thought of it.
Don’t do things that can get you (or anyone else) pregnant if you aren’t in a steadfast, committed relationship with a sane, consenting adult. Be sure about that sane and consenting part, because babies have a way of turning the best people into melted down wax versions of themselves. There are plenty of other ways to get your rocks off.
My “gratitude” today is: I am thankful for slipstreams of memory.
I was driving in to work and the traffic, the weather, the season, and my stuffy head made for the perfect storm and I found myself traveling through thirty years of memories. It was like crossing ghosts of myself at every block.
That’s where I took ice skating lessons.
That’s where the car broke down.
That’s where Thor saw his very first snow.
That’s where they served such good pancakes.
That’s where the prettiest lights were.
That’s where B and I had lunch–no better lunch in the world.
That’s where I had my first dinner date.
That’s where Jamie/Byron/Karen/Mom/ and I did x/y/z/b back in junior high/high school/college/last year.
Our major Christmas decorations are in storage, and I am not digging them out. So until it is time to hang stockings and put up the mini-lights on the mantle, Thor and I have taken advantage of Target’s Dollar Bins to add a little holiday color to the house.
We bought $7 worth of clings and puffy stickers and went to work. Thor surprised me with his level of interest and enthusiasm, given his utter lack of interest in Halloween decor. He did all the window clings, the peppermints, and Christmas Frogs.
Our tiny trees, candy canes, and Christmas Frogs on the Mantle.Clings on the sliding glass. Thor keeps trying to decide if he wants to spell "Ho, ho, ho" to be read from the inside out, or the outside in.Clings on the front door. Not sure how long they will last, but I've never been able to hang an effective wreath, so that's gonna have to do, Martha Stewart.
The Outside Lane 