Advice, Women

Smiley Miley at the VMAs


Nancy and I were talking about Miley at the VMAs, last night.  I’ve come to be something of a Miley apologist because I recognize that so much of what drives me up a tree about her, so much of what makes me want to yell at her to get off my lawn, is that I went through similar phases.  I am sympathetic to her plight, and moreso because she doesn’t even know she has a plight.

First, go read the article by Duana over at Lainey’s blog.  I have nothing but agreement for this.  I especially have nothing but love for this:

So I feel like Miley was bound and determined to write her own script [at the VMAs] and not just be a pretty fangirl and not just a “good girl” who secretly likes to be talked into sex [as part of the Blurred Lines performance], and what came out was…what we saw. It just makes me sad because I think she thinks she’s doing something other than what she’s doing, which is…still playing right into it.

I spent a lot of time doing something other than what I thought I was doing, which was playing right into “it” when I was about her age.  And if I’d had her platform?  Good lord.  I’m always going on about how glad I am the internet hadn’t been invented when I was coming up.  I am ever the more thankful that my parents never actively pursued a entertainment career for me because I sure would have been the misguided, well-meaning twerp showing up to an MTV party in rubber underwear, motorboating someone else’s magnificent nalgas.

It is hard to be a girl.  It is hard because the choices are so black and white.  Are you a good girl, or are you a bad girl?  Boys don’t have to make this decision.  Boys who have sex, who like sex, who say they want sex aren’t bad–they are just boys.

Miley has clearly chosen to tell the world that she has sex, likes sex, and wants sex, and she appears to believe that this requires giving the public an all access pass to her backstage–it’s a choice a lot of girls make.  If I’m going to be bad, then I’m going to be bad in your face so you can’t talk about me behind my back, you can’t call me a hypocrite, and you can’t say I’m a tease.  This is me, ass cheeks a’flapping.  I can’t stop.  I won’t stop.  It’s my mouth, my house, my song, my butt cheeks.  Deal with it, or go home.

For counter-balance, you have a Taylor Swift, who has clearly chosen to tell the world that she is a good girl.  Blurred Lines was written for Taylor Swift.  The girl who might want to go all the way, but who has to be convinced of it because that’s what is ladylike and proper.  It isn’t a sin if you can’t help it.  It’s only a sin if you want it.  My mouth is yours, my house is yours, my song is about you, you can tell me what to do with my backside.  Please love me and take me home.

Late-Teenaged and Early-Twenty-Something Lane was going to get up in your face about your misconceptions of what a good girl was/did/looked like.  Do you want to know what happens when little girls wear vinyl to the Campus Crusade meeting?  I could tell you all about it.  So could Miley.  I feel Miley.  I get it.  I understand.  I’m not calling her out for being sexualized or overt.

The performance was sad because it was so limp and dull.  It was sloppy and breathless, and the costuming was shameful in the sense of how poorly it fit, and poorly it reflected what was going on.  Miley Cyrus has a glorious figure, and whoever put her in those booty squishing shorts should be fired–and branded with some mark so that everyone knows not to hire him/her ever again.  I was okay with the Chuck E. Cheese swimsuit.  That was kind of cute for what she was doing.

Miley isn’t a performer who can carry a show, so she needs something more than dancing Pedobears to help her along.  She needs a better song, better choreography, and better fitting costumes, or just a better jam all the way around.  See her performance of Rebel Yell–that was a very good performance for her.

No one can tell a 20 year old girl who thinks she is making a statement by being blatantly sexual that the statement she is making, doesn’t mean what she thinks it means.  Because no one can tell a 20 year old anything.  All we can do as adults is be there to form a wall between her misconception and the dudes who are agreeing and nodding along with strings of drool hanging down their chins, telling her that it is a great idea to twerk upside down against the wall while they photograph her.

I told Nancy that I could sum up all my thoughts about the performance and the child with this:  Bless her heart.

And bless mine, too.

Thank you, God, for not inventing the interwebs until after I was far too old to twerk on camera.  Because You know it would have been out there somewhere.

Uncategorized

Weekend Update


It’s been an exciting weekend for me on a lot of different fronts.  First and foremost, I got to reconnect with a cousin, which delights me.  I could not be happier about that.  I also have the final manuscript of the novel, which I am proofreading for release.  And, of course, school started up again for Thor.

Several of my friends are, or have been dropping off kids at college and kindergarten  this month.  It’s been bittersweet to watch the posts.  Leaving your child in someone else’s hands is always upsetting.  Leaving your child in someone else’s hands, knowing that you are now entrusting them to an assembly line process designed to fill their brains and separate them from your side so that they can become fully functional adults is terrifying.

Advice I would give new kindergartners?

  1. Make a friend, and be a friend.
  2. Learn to write your name, and don’t worry when the teacher wants you to write it over and over again.  It doesn’t mean she has forgotten your name, or that she is slow.  She’s just trying to be sure it’s easy for you to write all the letters.
  3. Eat your lunch and your snack at the appointed times.  School isn’t as forgiving of your tummy’s schedule as your mom is.
  4. Always take the potty break when offered.
  5. Have fun!

It’s very similar to the advice I have for new college students.

  1. Make friends and join activities–be open to new ideas.
  2. Realize that your professors might not ever learn your name.  That doesn’t mean you are lost in the crowd.  Work like they know where you live, even if they are never sure you are in their class because the GPA knows your name, and the GPA is unforgiving.
  3. Remember to eat, and eat something that is going to add to your health.  You can’t live on Ramen and pizza alone.  Buy an apple now and then.
  4. Always use the bathroom before class.
  5. Have fun responsibly.  Don’t be that drunk kid sitting in the middle of the parking lot, crying over Cheetos because 20 years later, you will still be the example someone gives of what not to do.  Don’t be that kid.
  6. Call your mother.  She means well.

 

books, Cozy Cat Press, Interview with the Author, writing

Interview with the Author: Bart J. Gilbertson


When I signed with Cozy Cat Press, several of the authors eGreeted me immediately, making it feel like a real publishing home.  Bart J. Gilbertson was one of those.  That very week, he was launching his book in a brilliantly creative way–at the Dairy Queen!

Dairy Queen has all the best stuff.
Dairy Queen has all the best stuff.

I bought his debut nove,l DEATHBED AND BREAKFAST, just days before it shot to #1 Free Cozy Mystery, #3 Free Humor, and #15 Free  Mystery on the Amazon hit list.

DEATHBED AND BREAKFAST

Richard Forester, a retired CEO for a major software company, and his granddaughter Penny show up at the Pookotz Bed & Breakfast one evening and find themselves in some rather unpleasant company. All the guests somehow seem to be connected to Richard’s past and when he is found dead the next morning, everyone is suspect. However, there are a few wrinkles that the inn’s owners Edna and Mildred Pookotz need to iron out as the murder investigation unfolds. Not only was Richard deathly ill, but he was also accused of embezzling $750,000 which is still unaccounted for. The local Sheriff suspects that this victim’s death is not a natural one, so he–and the sisters–set forth to discover who the murderer is.

There are plenty of twists and turns in this first ‘whodunit’ of the Pookotz Sisters Bed & Breakfast Mystery series which introduces you to the quaint mountain Oregon town of Pleasant Lake and its inhabitants.

​Readers of the cozy mystery genre will fall in love with Edna and Mildred Pookotz, sisters and amateur senior sleuths, as they juggle the responsibilities of running a Bed & Breakfast and solving most bizarre mysteries!

Deathbed_&_Breakfast_432x648_Small_Ebook

 

The Outside Lane:  How did you get started writing?

 Bart J. Gilbertson:  I really didn’t pay any attention to books until the 5th Grade when my teacher, Mrs. Moser, introduced me to the Prydain Chronicles by Lloyd Alexander.  It was a 5 book YA Fantasy series that revolved around the adventures of a young man named Taran and his companions in a classic good -vs- evil backdrop.  But it was more than that.  It was the story of how a young boy became a man and found his place in the world, the meaning of true friendship and self value.  Never before had I been so enamored by a book, let alone 5 of them!  I got to create my own mental interpretations of the words in front of me.  It was magic!  The seed was planted and I yearned to write my own adventures, and I began to do just that.  I have been writing ever since.

 

TOL:  I love that a teacher and great books were what inspired you!  Where do your ideas come from?

 BJG:  I would like to take credit for all of the ideas, but I can’t.  Haha!  The genesis of my novel, Deathbed & Breakfast, was a result of my sister and I tossing some ideas around late one night after she had just told me about a book she was reading at the time by Joanne Fluke.  Before we knew it, we were laying the groundwork for what would become the first novel in a series I have planned out which centers on the amateur and comedic sleuthing antics of two sisters, Edna and Mildred Pookotz, who run a small town Bed & Breakfast.  We laughed and joked and had a good time.  Some of my ideas I get from real life experiences.  Or I will take a current event that may have happened and think to myself “what if”.  Ideas can come at me from anywhere at anytime really.  One time (I know I should be cursed for life for this) I had a great idea for a scene during a prayer at church.  Haha!  I know, that’s terrible…but what can I say?

 

TOL:  What’s been the biggest learning experience from your first release?

 BJG:  Two things really.  First, I found out the importance of editing.  You must edit, edit, edit and then edit some more.  That is key.  When I first turned in my manuscript to Patricia Rockwell (Cozy Cat Publisher and Editor), I felt I had a finalized masterpiece.  I even had a great second twist ending in an Epilogue after the main story.  And this was AFTER I had already gone through the manuscript several times on my own beforehand.  Thankfully, Patricia had me make some vital changes and after it was all said and done, I could see that she was right.  Having a good editor is invaluable.  I appreciate Patricia and her patience with me very much.  Second, the way books are being sold these days, it is SO important to be active in marketing your book.  That is the second biggest learning experience for me.  Instead of looking at it as work, I chose to look at it as a way to make new contacts and new friends.  Have fun with it.  I feel I’ve done just that.  And I am still learning…on both counts.

 

Bart and his book.  The first release was a great learning experience.
Bart and his book. The first release was a great learning experience.

 

TOL:  What are you plans for your next novel?

 BJG:  Edna and Mildred will be at it once again, solving another murder in the town of Pleasant Lake, Oregon.  In the first book, Deathbed & Breakfast, it was their first foray into the investigative world as they worked with local sheriff, Jake Blackwood.  In the next novel, they find that have a real taste for it and become much more involved.  I think the readers will see them begin to develop and blossom more into the characters that they are destined to become.  The cook Felix will be as obnoxious as ever…haha!  A lot of people have told me that he is their favorite character, so don’t worry.  More Felix to come!  The book is in the preliminary stages right now.  Outlined mostly, but the actual writing will begin shortly.  I have other ideas for both short stories, stand alone novels and another possible cozy mystery series as well.  

 

TOL:  How did you come to Cozy Cat Press?

 BGJ:  I actually had submitted my manuscript to Cozy Cat Press about a year and a half ago, but it was declined.  It was the very first place I sent a query to.  After 18 more months of countless queries sent to agents and houses alike, and receiving rejection after rejection, I had almost given up on going down the traditional road and was seriously looking at self publishing my book.  I don’t know why, but I decided to go back to the Cozy Cat Press website and see if they were even around.  Not only were they still there, but they had grown considerably!  When I first submitted to them, there were only 4 authors.  Patricia Rockwell, Diane Morlan, Alan B. Boyer and Sharon Rose.  This time, they were over 20 authors.  I took the time to read each of their Bio’s, and in fact, I went to Amazon and purchased a copy of It Takes Two To Strangle by Cozy Cat author Stephen Kaminski and read the entire book that night.  My fire was refueled.  I knew Cozy Cat Press was the place for me, a perfect fit.  I sent Patricia another email asking to resubmit my manuscript.  She return emailed me asking me to send it to her again.  This time it was accepted and a contract was offered.  I was elated!  I got to go to the place that was my first choice to begin with.  Ironic.  So here I am, a Cozy Cat author and loving every minute of it!

 

TOL:  So what about you?  Who is Bart J. Gilbertson?

BGJ:  The author bio says it all.

Bart J. Gilbertson is the author of the Pookotz Sisters Mystery Series.  Although he was born in Wisconsin, he spent most of his youth and later years in the rocky mountain state of Idaho.  He has been all over the northwest and it is his love for the lush green state of Oregon that inspired the setting for Pleasant Lake and its inhabitants. 

He attended ITT Technical Institute in Boise, ID and received an Associate in Applied Science Degree for Computer Networking Systems and graduated with honors.  

Bart has worn many hats over his lifetime career, but the one he is most proud of is that of being a writer.  

He currently resides in O’Neill, NE.  He has two children.​

Bart J. Gilbertson
Bart J. Gilbertson

 TOL:  Thank you so much for stopping by to chat, Bart.  I am really looking forward to being able to sit down and read your book!  In the meantime, where can we find you?

 BJG:  Thank you Lane for the interview!  I had a great time.  Here are some links I’d like to share.

Link to my website  

Link to my Facebook page:  Bart J. Gilbertson, Author

Link to Pookotz Sisters Facebook page:  Pookotz Sisters Mysteries

Link to the kindle format of Deathbed & Breakfast on Amazon:  DEATHBED AND BREAKFAST

And of course, the link to Cozy Cat Press:  http://cozycatpress.com

 

 

Uncategorized

Let’s Fight Lymphoma With LynDee


LynDee Walker, amazeballs cousin-in-law and bestselling author, has teamed up with Colby Marshall to fight against Lymphoma.

Today, go to http://www.stairwaypress.com/bookstore and buy THE TRADE, by Colby Marshall, and proceeds will benefit the Lymphoma Society.

Also, go to Colby’s blog and read about LynDee’s run ins with abandoned caskets and ancient burial grounds in her guest post: No, I Did Not Make That Up.

Fight cancer by reading a good book.

books, Reviews

Strawberry Scented Elegance


I have several more Cozy Cat Press authors to introduce to you, and I’m going to start doing that on Mondays.  Monday is a nice day to meet authors, don’t you think?  Also, when I started researching to sign up TIARA TROUBLE for blog tours, I realized that I have a blog.  This means that I can be a stop on blog tours!  This means I can read books, meet more authors, and tell you all about them.  Isn’t that exciting?  I think so.

I’ve already got two books in my reader, and you’ll see those reviews coming toward the end of September.

Between you and me, unless a book is NIGHT TRAVELS OF THE ELVEN VAMPIRE kind of bad (link to Irene’s review–NSFW, but that’s not Irene’s fault), I won’t be posting a bad review.  If I wouldn’t give a book at least 3 stars, I’m not going to acid rain all over another writer’s parade.

If you blog, and if you enjoy reading (free) books and reviewing them, I highly recommend signing up to host virtual blog tours.  Writers from smaller publishing houses, and indie writers have to get very creative about promoting their work, and will likely put in as much time trying to market a publication as they did drafting it in the first place.  It never hurts to expand your circle of influence either.  Never know who is going to be the next Big Thing.

I’m getting ready to read a book with goats in the title and a one-eyed soldier in the description.  I expect great things from it.