Author: the outside lane

Happy. That about covers it.
40 in 52

40 in 52

the outside lane

According to the BMI, I need to lose so much weight that I might as well just check myself into Baylor and ask them to put me in a medically induced coma for three months.  The BMI has no idea that when I am mid-range of their scale, I look malnourished.  It’s okay.  They don’t know that my bone structure is that of a Clydesdale.

According to the trainer guy at my gym, his pincers, scale, chart, and tape measure (eeyaugh!), I should lose 46lbs to be at my optimal weight.  I like his better.  I don’t like jagged edges, though, so I’m going to clean that 46 down to 40 and work toward that goal.  Then, when I am with women who are complaining about their weight, I won’t make them feel inferior with my perfection.  I can still agree, “I know.  Supposedly, I should weigh 6lbs less to be my physical best.  It is so hard being me!” 

See, I’ve got 20 to get back to where I was this time last year, when I got laid off and started eating at Sonic every day.  Sonic is made of crack cocaine.  It is evil.  And maxi dresses are so forgiving.  It was like I was eating the devil and wearing an angel. 

I have yo-yo’ed for a full year now, finally gaining back into my red light territory.  It’s exhausting.  I can either quit and resign myself to a life of caftans and tater tots, or I can pick myself up again and work at my fitness.  Since the best thing about life is that you get to start over again every morning, and since I have a gym membership, I’m rebuking the tater tots in the name of Jebus and resisting the lure of the elastic waistband.

I’m not turning this blog into a weight loss diary, and have decided not to post my weight as I’ve done before.  If it’s that important, you’re welcome to look me up on thedailyplate.com and friend me there.  I will be keeping a tally of my goal here.  I am working toward a 40lbs weight loss in 52 weeks.

I figured out that I can do at least 30 minutes in the gym on my lunch hour ( future blog entries to include how to work out on a lunch hour and still smell nice) and I’m hoping I can find a way to get into the lap pool for an hour at least once a week.  Other than that I’ll be on my routine of calorie counting Monday through Thursday, eating whatever the foo I feel like on Fridays, and living moderation on the weekends. 

Why?  Because my favorite pants don’t fit and when I waved goodbye to Thor this morning, my arm kept going long after the wave was finished.

Women Worth Knowing

Women Worth Knowing–Who?

the outside lane

I am having a lot of fun with the Women Worth Knowing project.  I love getting to know more about these fantastic women, and am hoping this will grow some arms and women who have participated already will introduce us to the women they know.  And, I’m hoping that will bring more diversity.

I’m pretty white.  I’m about as white as you can get without having a medical condition (except that right now I am kind of faux wood finish colored, since I visited Planet Tan yesterday.)  I live in a mostly white neighborhood, work in a mostly white office, and have almost exclusively white friends. I’m really not sure how that happened.  I certainly didn’t make it a point to be so Wonder Bread! 

In all seriousness, since a big part of my last two corporate jobs had to do with diversity and inclusion I am hyper-aware of what my world looks like from the outside, and hyper-aware of the fact that the WWK is very one slice of pie so far.  I am missing entire demographics.  

We are off to a good start.  Currently, we are representing women from their late 20s through their 60s, single, married, with children and without, of varying faiths, heterosexual and bisexual, artists, scientists, secretaries, domestic engineers, and all sorts of other careers.  But, we are missing Black women, Native American women, Asian women, younger women, gay women, politicians, women in the military, and a thousand other things.  I want this to be bigger and better.

I hate categorizing.  I hate the idea of saying, “We need X of Y in order to look like Z.”  That’s not what I am after.  I am after women being able to pull up this project and say, “That’s someone who looks like me, who is doing something I wish I were doing, and someone I could emulate.”  I don’t believe in tokenism.  I believe in inclusion, and I worry that this project looks exclusionary based on my small world.

So, gentle readers, expand my world.  Introduce me to women worth knowing, so we can all meet them, too.

Style

Skirttopping the Issue

the outside lane

Today’s look comes mainly from Target.

The purple skirt on the right is on sale now for $17.  Today, I am wearing that skirt as a top, with black satin tuxedo style trousers (can’t remember where these are from), and a black cropped shrug (from Target–about $12).  If I had plans for the evening, when 5 o’clock rolled around I could just whip off the shrug for a strapless look, or pull the skirt down into place and put on a cute top (like the sweater above, bought at Ross for $9.)  Voila!  Ready to roll.  (Always keep an extra top and pair of shoes in the car.  You never know when someone is going to invite you out for fun.)

I have accessorized with a purple pendant on a leather strap (Big Lots, with matching earrings, $5) and little sterling earrings shaped like roses (Avon, by way of Granny.  Priceless.)  The shoes are black patent ballet flats, so the shoes and pants have a similar sheen.  That’s my rule about patent leather–don’t wear patent leather unless your fabric has some sort of sheen.  It’s entirely made up on my part.

Women Worth Knowing

Women Worth Knowing: Julie Anne Rhodes

the outside lane

Used by permission, copyright Julie Anne Rhodes.

Julie Anne Rhodes is another Woman Worth Knowing I’ve never met in person.  She came to my attention with a literal sucker punch.  You see, an 8th grade classmate of mine was crying one morning because Nick Rhodes of Duran Duran and had gotten married.  I laughed at her.  She punched me in the stomach so hard, I had to go to the nurse’s office.  I learned two things that day:  Never laugh at a Duranie, and that there was such a thing as Julie Anne Rhodes.

Not long after, Julie Anne appeared in a People Magazine wearing what they called “a dress…only less.”  I remember this because I cut it out and kept it.  Julie Anne’s backless, bottom cleavage revealing frock lit my imagination.  I begged to have something similar, a more modest version, for a dance.  My mother compromised with me, and helped me make a headpiece similar to the one Julie Anne wore.  My date, definitely not Nick Rhodes, was underwhelmed.

Over the course of the next few years, I would see Julie Anne in candid photos with the likes of Andy Warhol and fashion shots as she made the globe with her husband and career, always wearing something that looked more like art than clothing.  Julie Anne made a huge impression on my taste.

Last year, I happened upon her blog, Jewels from The Roving Stove, and was delighted to find that she was wonderful to read.  Now an award winning chef and writer with a book on the way, she has gone from “VIP lounges in Versace, to service entrances in [her] apron.”

I tried a couple of her recipes and they were really good. My family liked them.  Her instructions were easy to follow, and I managed to cook them without setting my kitchen on fire.  I felt accomplished!  I sent her an email and she replied graciously, answering my questions and putting up with my effusive proclamations of, “OMG, and that hat!  I loved that hat!” Even better, she responded with a list of tools every kitchen should have, and I have been building my tool box using her template since.

Julie Anne writes about cooking with a passion.  I hate to call it cooking.  She writes about cheffing.  She cares about sharing what she knows, and making the world a healthier, tastier place.  There is a clear love of her work in her words, and it is a thrill to live vicariously through her blog, detailing her world travels and sparkling celebrity guest list.  Getting to know her through her writing was worth the punch in the stomach.  I do hope to meet her in person one day, if only to eyeball her wardrobe.  If I’m lucky, she’ll have been cooking.

Meet Julie Anne.

Name: Julie Anne Rhodes or just Jewels… I answer to both.

Preferred Job Title: Award-winning personal chef, writer, blogger

Industry: Food

Describe your family: ‘Leave it to Beaver’ meets ‘The Munsters’

What does the first hour of your day look like? Snuggled up with my dog Daisy and my laptop

The last hour? Snuggled up with my dog Daisy and my laptop

What makes you feel successful? Knowing my daughter is happy and has found her way in life, hearing “Mmmmmmmmmmm…” coming from the dining room of a client’s home, realizing people are actually reading my blogs, being told my agent (a top NY literary agent) wants to represent my book, and nearly being plowed down (to get to my food) by the crew of the last cooking show I did when the director yelled “cut”.

What brings you joy? When I stop to appreciate how blessed my life has been with extraordinary people, experiences and opportunities. Writing the blog is really just an extension of that joy.

What women do you admire? My Grandma was Auntie Mame, Endora, and Gloria Steinem all rolled into one. I adored no one more… http://jewelsfromtherovingstove.blogspot.com/2009/09/beetroot-war.html

What do you like best about your closest friend? We’re both really busy and live in different time zones, so we may not speak or see each other for quite a while, but we just pick up where we left off without skipping a beat when we do. We just know each other so well instinctively that it is an effortless, but true friendship.

What do you like best about yourself? That I can still find that childlike wonder within that fuels my lust for life.

What advice would you give boys about girls? Old fashioned chivalry is sexy.

What were you like at ages 6, 12, and 24? In too big of a hurry to grow up at 6 and 12, then needed to grow up at 24. I never could do life traditionally like everyone else.

What advice would you give to your 6, 12, and 24 year old selves? Not to believe anyone that tries to tell you that you can’t achieve something, never stop dreaming, and always strive for those dreams. It doesn’t matter if you fail and it doesn’t matter what people think, so long as you know you gave it your best shot.

How do you overcome adversity? Constantly reprogramming my thoughts to think positively, so I see the glass half full. There is a lesson in every experience, even the hard ones, so there is always a gift to be had when you think positively.

Women Worth Knowing

Women Worth Knowing: Meet Karen

the outside lane

8th grade started out as a pretty decent year for me.  I wasn’t the new girl, having attended the same school for two years in a row, and I had actual friends, and was sharing a locker with one of them.  So, when the newest new girl showed up in my homeroom class after Christmas break, I was glad not to be the one having to find her way around, make new friends, and figure out a locker.  Sadly for her, when they tried to put her in my locker, it became apparent that I had gotten my own roommate ahead of time.  That was Karen’s first impression of me.  No room in the inn.

But soon enough, we bonded over the mutual threat of another girl who was determined to make haystacks of us in P.E. class.  Also, Karen introduced me to the Sweet Valley High novels, and I never turn down the chance to make a friend with someone who shares books.  In return, I introduced her to Duran Duran.  She still hasn’t forgiven me.  Discovering we lived near one another, we started walking home together.  Fifteen years later, we were sharing an apartment.

I have known Karen for so long, and so well that I’m having a hard time introducing her.  It’s like trying to describe my arm.  She’s just part of me.  But she is the dedicated, disciplined part.  She is the part that will practice, and study, and rehearse.  She is the part that will do whatever it takes to get the job done, and make it look effortless.  She is the part who will have your Mary Kay party even if she is allergic to the stuff.  She is the part who will come to the hospital just to hold your hand, when hospitals are horrifying to her.  She is the part that takes in stray kittens, even though they make her sneeze.  She is the part who will work hard to make sure you have everything you need.  She is the only person (other than his grandparents) I have ever asked to pick up Thor.  In short, you should know her.

Meet Karen.

First Name: Karen
Age Range (teens, twenties, thirties, forties, etc.): Thirties
Job Title: Administrative Assistant
Industry: Finance

Who are you?: At any given point in time, I am a sister, a daughter, a girlfriend, a niece, an aunt, a comedienne, a musician, a confidante, a mentor, a friend… Like most women, I don’t fit into one box. Who I am is defined not only by me, but also the circumstances in which I find myself.

At the office, I am a very efficient professional secretary (an outdated term, but accurate, nonetheless). I work hard to maintain a professional and approachable image. My duties demand discretion and accuracy, but also reach into the realm of mentor and cheerleader (and occasionally “camp counselor”) to the other members of the office team.

Off the clock, I am a musician. Sometimes that requires being a clown. Sometimes that requires a great deal of propriety. A wedding requires a great deal more decorum than a concert designed to entertain grade-school children. All of it requires focus and skill – not only interpreting the music, but also interpreting the audience’s mood and expectations.

I have many friends, but I doubt more than two or three would describe me the same way. Those who have known me the longest would probably have the hardest time, as our roles in each others’ lives have grown and evolved over the years.

Describe Your Family: My family started off traditionally enough. Two parents, two older brothers, four grandparents – lots of cousins, some of whom I still don’t know – the standard childhood menagerie of dogs and cats, even a raccoon at one time. Eventually, my brothers moved out to go to college, and my parents decided to become gypsies – not really, but we did move quite a bit during my teen years. I had to make new friends (frequently), then I had to deal with sisters-in-law and nieces and nephews. It was all very confusing; however, in recent years, I have come to discover that my friends have become the family I have chosen, rather than the family I was born to. I’m exceptionally lucky in that some members of my biological family are also members of my chosen family. [Since answering these questions, Karen has become engaged.  I wouldn’t be doing my job as a nosy friend if I didn’t edit him into this picture.]

What does the first hour of your day look like? The very first hour of my day looks very blurry as I attempt to wake up, get dressed and drive to the office.

What does the last hour of your day look like? I typically use the last hour of the day to wind down: I determine what clothes I need to wear (I’m too fuzzy-headed in the morning to make rational decisions about attire); it’s not unusual for me to take a shower or bath before getting ready for bed; and finally, I like to read for a little while in bed before going to sleep.