Author: the outside lane

Happy. That about covers it.
Uncategorized

Thank You!

the outside lane

Ah ! well a-day ! what evil looks
Had I from old and young !
Instead of the cross, the Albatross
About my neck was hung.

Our house is an albatross.  See that up there?  We’ve had renters in the house, and now we do not.  The property management group has rekeyed the locks, and I don’t have a copy of the key yet, so I can’t go all the way inside, but I took this picture from the glass in my back door.  That big hunk of white metal that is sticking out from under the counter?  That used to be a dish washer.  I’m not sure what it is now.  I’m afraid to see the refrigerator.

But that’s not what I’m writing about.

I posted that picture on Facebook, and not much later two of my friends arrived.  I had not asked them to come.  In fact, I’d told one of them to stay home.  But you know what friends do?  Friends ignore you when you need to be ignored, and friends just show up when it is warranted.  Emily came bearing mango.  Chey came bearing her husband.  Both of them came to make sure I was okay and was not walking into a disaster alone.

And my friends on Facebook showed up for support, too.

I wanted to give all these people a shout out for making me laugh when I really just wanted to cry, and for keeping me company, and for caring about me in general.

Thank you all.  For showing up, for showing support, for being outraged on my behalf, for loving me, and for caring.  It means a lot!

 

parenting, Women, work

I Can Bring Home The Bacon, But Some People Can’t

the outside lane

Lisa Belkin writes a great article about Anne-Marie Slaughter and her choice to leave the workplace to focus on family here. There are excellent points about how to make work and homelife more compatible for parents.  Important points.  Very important points.  Slaughter writes another excellent piece about her choice, focusing on how difficult it is to “have it all” the family/the job/the happiness.  Tara Sophia Mohr follows up on Slaughter’s article, asking if her story made the cover of The Atlantic, what got left out? 

In particular, I loved this question Mohr asked:

Women, who now make up half the workforce, are making it work — and many are doing so in ways that leave them deeply satisfied. Some of those deeply satisfied women are entrepreneurs, some have full-time jobs at companies with enlightened work-life policies, some have spouses who are the primary caregivers. Some find that with quality childcare and connection to community, dual full-time careers with decent hours work just fine for their families.

Why aren’t we reading their stories?

She goes on to describe the women whose stories are missing as:

“Powerful women” aren’t just those who have mega-jobs. A woman who feels satisfied, who feels deep, full-bellied satisfaction with her life and her choices? A woman who feels she is enough, who feels at peace with her mothering, her bank account and her thriving career? Where is she in our cultural discourse?

She is powerful and empowered. She carries the energy of her own happiness. She is not constantly sapping her own contentment with self-critique and guilt. She is strengthened by confidence in her own choices. She’s got the satisfaction of knowing her skills and talents have value in the world, and can bring her and her family economic security.

I am pretty sure we never hear about her because she is boring.  If you’re getting the job done and are happy about it, what is there to say?  No one would watch Grey’s Anatomy if Meredith were a secure, happy, satisfied surgeon with a healthy, happy relationship founded on mutual respect and admiration.  (Which makes me think:  Are there any shows where a woman is a secure, happy, satisfied whatever, who goes about her business without man-hunting or trying to get her kid off crack?  I can think of 6 shows off the top of my head that feature a leading man who is secure, happy, and satisfied and whose only weekly drama is the case he is working at the time.  If there are such shows, please tell me!  I’d like to tune in.)

I would say that I fit Mohr’s description of the invisible working mother.  I wouldn’t say my career is thriving because I’ve spent so much of the past decade leap-frogging positions trying to get ahead that I haven’t built any true credibility–jack of all trades, expert of none situation.  I wouldn’t say I am confident in my ability to bring economic security because I define economic security as being able to save at least half of what you make, but if (God forbid) anything happened to B, I could keep Thor in shoes.

I am happy.  I am satisfied.  I am a good mother, and I am confident in my parenting.  I am confident in the choices I have made for my son, and while I would be the first person to tell you that I’ve lost sleep and cried tears over not being able to be his primary, daytime caretaker, I would also tell you that I am extremely proud of what B and I have done for our family, and I’m not sure I would change it if I could.

So that’s me, and it is also many, many women I know.  Women who read the Huffington Post and The Atlantic.  Middle Class, aspirational, hopeful, working women who have enough income to make choices.  You know who it isn’t?  It isn’t women who work three minimum wage jobs just to put food on the table.  It isn’t women who have no choice but to leave their child with a neighbor, or another child in order to get to those three jobs just so they can feed their child.

It isn’t the women who have to make the choice between getting that child fed, and getting the babysitter vetted.

We see articles about Welfare Moms all the time.  And we see articles about Working Moms who have the money for nannies.  Now and then we see articles about the moms, like me, who are just trucking along.  We do not see the articles about the women (and men) who are working their tails off for next to nothing, paying their taxes, working within the system, doing the absolute best for their families that they can, who still cannot afford to even so much as choose between quality and sketchy daycare.  Or who fall in between the cracks of daycares that run from 6a to 6p, when they work the 7p to 3a shift.  You know: The people whose stories are too sad to tell because there is so little hope for difference for them.  Because you aren’t ever going to get rich working for WalMart.

Let’s talk about those people.  Let’s shine a light on them, and see if we can’t find solutions in Slaughter’s original article and Belkin’s follow up that can make a difference in their lives.

For those who believe that the only right way to raise a happy, successful child is to have a Stay At Home Parent in the house, I reject your judgment and your guilt.  There is no such thing as Only One Right Way and I believe we have had a few Presidents who prove that point.

Beauty, Style

And You Tell Two Friends, And They Tell Two Friends

the outside lane

My friend, Chad, posted a beauty tip today, and I had to try it out.  He said:

–if you take vitamin C tablets and crush them into powder, put them into some dandruff shampoo or clarifying shampoo, leave it on your head for an hour – it will totally strip away about 3 shades of color.

Now, I’ve been struggling with getting my hair back to a more natural shade since January.  I gave myself a very bad dye job, then started seeing a great stylist, who has been working me back to normal.  I have been getting a partial foil of highlights from the crown forward, and doing a rinse over bottom back of my hair to hide the red.  But as the rinse wears out, I end up with forty different shades of hair, and it’s not nice.  I have an appointment this coming Saturday, so if I was going to try anything that would potentially do horrible things to my color, now was the time.

That’s Chad, my new beauty guru, at the bottom there. I am in the middle of a gorgeous Kimmie/Kerri sandwich. I have such awesome friends! And good looking.  I also have a huge hunk of spinach in my teeth.  Gross.

I grabbed some Selsun Blue and Vitamin C while I was at the grocery store.  Now, I could only find chewable Vitamin Cs, and I wasn’t sure how many to use, so I chewed up about 4 of them, and I think about 2.5 of those made it into the shampoo mixture.  Yes, I am just that gross.

Anyway, I put the mixture on my head while I worked on making sweet potato chips (epic failure for looks, but omg so good!) and washed it off a little while ago using my regular shampoo and conditioner.  It worked!

My highlights are as bright as their first day, the bottom back of my hair has stripped down to one chestnut shade (which is quite nice), and my hair feels like silk.  That last part is my favorite.  It’s been feeling stiff and yucky lately, so this is a very nice change!

Chef Lane

What’s Cookin’: Tofu Tacos

the outside lane

Tofu Tacos were what was for dinner tonight.  They were nice enough that B ate all of his!  Thor was with Grandma, and so was spared the indignity of being served faux meat.

Some prep tips:

1.  Julie Anne Rhodes taught me that the way to prep your tofu for any kind of crumbles is to freeze, then thaw overnight.  The ice crystals breaking down does something to the texture that makes it easier to work with.

2.  You’ll be working with hot peppers, so if you are at all like me (forgetful and itchy), wear gloves.  You’ll be less inclined to rub your eyes with latex on your fingers.

3.  To warm your soft tortillas, put 4 at a time in the microwave for 15 seconds, then flip them and nuke for 15 more seconds.

4.  To get the goody out of an avocado, slice it longways, all the way around, then twist the halves until they just slide apart.  You can slide a spoon between the skin and the meat, and work it around the edges to pull the meat out whole.  Do the same thing with the pit–just work around it with a spoon until it pops out.  I learned this watching the guys at Dino’s Subs.

 

You will need 1lb of extra firm tofu (prepped as above), 2tbs of brown sugar, 2tbs of Gourmet Garden Mexican spice (or your preferred taco seasoning), 1/2 each jalapeno, poblano, red pepper (seeded), 1 small sweet onion, salt to taste, 2 Tbs of sunflower oil, 1 avocado thinly sliced, and shredded cheese and sour cream to taste.
Slice and seed your peppers. Watch your fingers! Just the skin of a jalapeno can transfer oils that will make your eyes water for days if you rub it in them. Save your produce bags for little trash bags to use as you go. You won’t want to put the pepper stuff in your garbage disposal.
I used a nutmeg grater to grate down the jalapeno. I just used half of the pepper. If you want it hotter, use the whole thing.
I use my “as seen on tv” slicer doohickey to slice my poblano and red peppers, and my onion.
Saute your peppers and onions in 1Tbs of sunflower oil. Onions should be transparent and peppers tender.
While your veggies saute, work on your tofu.  It is going to be soaking wet. Wring it out like a sponge until it is pretty dry. Then, use your fingers to crumble it into bits until it is the texture of taco meat. I was talking and crumbling and crumbled this a little too much and got a cornmeal texture.
Add your brown sugar, Mexican seasoning, and grated jalapeno to the tofu, then mix, mix, mix.
Veggies come out of the skillet, and tofu mixture goes in with its own 1Tbs of oil. Use scissors to chop up the peppers and onions into confetti.
Brown your tofu.
Warm your tortillas. Slap on a little sour cream, add a couple of slices of avocado, spoon in your “taco meat”, spoon on your peppers and onions, sprinkle on a little cheese and fold.
Serve hot with a side salad and some chips. This recipe made 6 totally stuffed soft tacos with enough left over for…
Part of tomorrow’s salad. I sliced the remaining poblano and red peppers, and mixed those with the sauteed peppers and tofu. I added about 2 tsp of Balsamic Vinegar and put it in the fridge to let the flavors marinate. Tomorrow, I will serve this over greens with tortilla chip crumbles.

 

 

Uncategorized

Tidbits

the outside lane

Thanks to Emily for turning me on to Bountiful Baskets!  This will likely cut my produce spending in half.  Possibly more, since I am learning more about cooking produce.

In a few days, I will roll out a whole new article about Emily’s latest endeavor with her friend Adriane.  Together, they have created Basement Baubles, a place where you can reimagine your favorite old, out of date, or broken jewelry into something stylish and new.  Emily had on a pair of earrings the other night, and I went berserk over them.  They turned out to be Adriane-reimagined from an older piece she had, and they were amazing.  For right now, here is the link to their store.

I am working on my 1lb a week goal again…again.  I’m not going to be posting about it here, though.  I have started a discussion group over on My Fitness Pal, and you are welcome to join us there!  It’s called 1 a Week.  I’m creative like that.