Thor: Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom! Do you know what Nathan Hale’s last words were?
Me: ” Urrk glurrrg unf” *flop*
Thor: *eye roll* That is not right.
Me: “Help me!”
Thor: Not right.
Me: (in my best JFK voice) “Ask not what your country can do for you…”
Thor: Wrong. And wrong accent.
Me: (in my best Patrick Henry voice) “But as for me, give me liberty…”
Thor: *sigh* Wrong quote, wrong accent.
Me: (in my best Forrest Gump) “I regret that I have but one life to give for my country!”
Thor: Mom. Seriously. That’s the right quote, but the way wrong accent.
Thor: Do you know how he was captured? Nathan Hale?
Me: Oh, yes. The British set out a trap for him. It was a really big box with a stick holding it up, with a piece of rope tied around the stick. They put a pie in the shadow of the box because Nathan Hale was known to love pie. He was walking through the forest, saw the pie and just went for it. He loved pie so much, he didn’t even notice the box, the stick, or the string. When he crouched down and started eating, the British pulled the string, which dislodged the stick, causing the box to fall over Hale, capturing him.
Thor: Wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong.
Me: Oh! It was cake? Not Pie?
Thor: Mom. They sent in a spy, who was pretending to be a double agent, and that spy got Hale to confess that he was a double agent, so they captured him and killed him.
Me: I like my story better.
Thor: Your story is better, but mine is right.
B: *never says a word–just keeps eating his dinner*