Posted in movies, Reviews

Movie Review: Elysium


Elysium.  I’ve seen worse.

(Spoiler free for your reading pleasure.)

Kidding.  I have seen worse, but it really wasn’t bad.  It’s not my kind of entertainment–I like my action peppered with one-liners and better looking heroes, but it was good for what it was.  Matt Damon is always excellent.  Alice Braga was great.  Sharlto Copley was a terrific bad guy, and was clearly having more fun than anyone else in the movie.

The plot was thin, but the smoke and detritus from the many explosions plumped it up a bit.  It was a sci-fi/action movie, and for that genre, it was a little better than all right.

What made it problematic?  Mainly, Jodie Foster.  I had no idea it was possible to be wooden AND chew scenery at the same time.  She was awful. I actually turned to B and asked, “When did Jodie Foster get to be terrible?”  I’m still flummoxed.  Maybe she’d had bad shrimp?  I don’t know.  All I know is that her wig and her calf muscles were doing most of the acting.

The other big problem for me was the fact that Matt Damon was the only white guy on Earth, and he was also the only guy who could save Earth.  They could have at least cast a few white extras to make it not-as-obvious that he was the blue-eyed, blond Messiah.  I’m white and I was kind of offended that the only character in the movie who was pure of heart and motive was a white guy.  Everyone else was some variety of hoodrat, save for the one female character, who had to be in peril and saved by the one white guy.  This role would have been perfect for Vin Diesel–and how often do you get to say that?

Oh!  There was one other white guy who lived on Earth, but he was just a bad boss character.

Did I laugh?  No.  Did I cry?  What do you think.  I cried at Glitter.  Of course I cried–there were sick children and sad Matt Damon.  Sad Matt Damon is enough to make anyone cry.  Sad Vin Diesel just makes you remember to buy prune juice.

3 out of 5 stars.

 

 

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Author:

Happy. That about covers it.

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