I don’t understand the concept of having to pay to run in a race. I mean, I understand why race fees are charged (charitable contribution, tshirts, and all that), but I don’t understand paying to run 26 miles. Then again, I don’t fully understand running 26 miles. I’m pretty sure Pheidippides would have preferred to drive.
Maybe it is because I have never felt any particular joy in the act of running. I get a true thrill out of swimming, and I really enjoy playing tennis or ping pong, but otherwise, I’d prefer to drive.
I’ve had Junior High on my mind for the past couple of weeks, since hearing that a former classmate was in the final stages of cancer. She passed away over the weekend, and all the colors, and smells, and sounds of 1984 have been at the front of my brain. Turquoise and neon pink. Polo and Aquanet. Motley Crue and Journey. We’re still young. Not so young as we were then, but much too young to be dying. Much, much too young for death.
For many reasons, I’m not afraid of death. I am afraid of the process of dying–afraid of pain, or afraid of dying voilently–but I am not afraid of death. I don’t want to die. I like being alive. I love my life, and enjoy it. I want to be alive to experience my family and friends, and weather, and travel, and art, and music–there is a lot going on that I don’t want to miss! On the off chance that what comes after this life isn’t nearly as interesting, I’d like to stay here as long as I possibly can.
Which is why I am drinking more water. Even though drinking water is boring.
Yesterday, I turned a cartwheel at Thor’s behest. I was a little surprised I could still do it. Video replay (I did this at the Perot Museum, where my movements were recorded to be played back side-by-side with an Olympic gymnast’s own cartwheel–her form was much better) showed a little, round, khaki-colored, froglike woman spinning across the screen. So, last night, when I wanted a donut, I asked myself, “Do you really want a donut? Do you really want to remain round and froglike, or would you prefer to have a glass of water?”
I ate the donut.
Ha! I’ll bet you thought I was going to say I drank the water. No, I ate that donut and I enjoyed it, and I added it up to the count I’ve been keeping for the past month. I still had enough to fit it in without going over my self-established daily goal. Sometimes, you have to eat the donut. Today I am drinking the water.
Anyway, frogs are cute.