I love getting my alumni magazines from my former private schools. I get one from NA, where I went to elementary school; THS, where I went to middle school; and I get one from UA, where I went to high school. I love getting these and catching a glimpse of what my classmates are doing now. I hate the feeling of, “Dang, if I had only [done this], I could also be [doing that].” It’s not nearly so bad as it used to be, especially considering the level of contentment I roll around in on a daily basis, but the twinge is still there.
The thing I think most is, “Dang. If I had only been born into lots of money, I could be…” and then I start laughing. Let’s be honest. If I had been born into money, I’d have grown up to be the bookworm version of Paris Hilton. That is, I’d always have some kind of job/amusing-hobby-that-pays because I do like to dabble and entertain myself, but I would be otherwise useless. I’m not even sure that I would have bothered with school. Why would college have been necessary? Nah. I’d have just run around Europe and Russia, learning the languages first hand, rather than sitting in a stuffy classroom conjugating verbs. And then, I’d have continued to run around the world being useless.
I’m not entirely sure that I am useFUL as it is. I’m not entirely sure it is needful. I’m useful to my family and friends, so as a cog in the wheel of the bigger picture, I have use. In fact, I think if we’re sincere about going through life with respect and consideration for others, we make ourselves useful as a side effect.
I always wonder about one friend, who dedicated her life as a nun. We never hear anything about her. She might be the most useful of all of us.
Meanwhile, I do feel very fortunate to have rubbed elbows with such interesting, successful women.