Today is the big day for me on Parents Connect’s Sexy, Sassy Mama Boot Camp. I am thrilled and excited, and exhausted from the Universe’s balancing act, specially designed to keep my ego in check.
See, my day started just after 2am, with a little boy snuffling and crying, “My whole body hurts.” And I guess it did, as burning hot as it was! So, after cool baths, over the counter medicine, and a lot of hugs (and me doing a very early web check in at the CareNow clinic, and sending my boss an obscenely early text message), we crawled back into my bed at 4:48 this morning. By 8:15, we were in the clinic and Thor was being diagnosed with a nasty sinus infection–poor guy.
Grandma is going to watch him this afternoon so I can go to work. Thank goodness for grandparents!
Meanwhile, I was trying to decide if I still felt sexy in my bare-faced, puffy-eyed, scraggly ponytailed state. And, yeah, I kinda do. Why? Because, as my friend Jenifer put it, “Great mamas are sexy.” And I’m pretty good at being a mother.
However, my sexy and my sassy factors dipped dangerously low when we met Grandma for lunch at IHOP. I managed to choose the bathroom stall that had no toilet paper in it, and only made this discovery after having availed myself of the facilities. There is very little either sexy, or sassy about trying to scrabble into the next stall with your jeans around your thighs, hoping you can get the door shut before some other hapless patron walks in on you.
Which reminds me that I should tell you the story of the time I was exposed to an entire nightclub full of people, as I sat on a toilet. Geez. At least my shoes were cute!
Now, I’m going to go put myself together for work and cue up the Darth Vader theme. There are days when my inner soundtrack sounds far too much like the jinky music behind a Keystone Cops movie.