There is a lot outside my window that I will genuinely miss seeing after we move on Monday. I will definitely miss the canal, which feels more like home to me than anything has since we left Virginia. I will miss the varied trees and foliage. I will miss being able to go upstairs and look out the windows. And, I will miss standing at the top of the stairs, looking out that one unreachable window, watching the street lights turn a mile away. Visibility is good from upstairs.
I will not miss the bugs, the mud, the rank smell on hot days, the extra humidity, the worry that Thor will fall down the stairs (now I can worry he’ll fall out of his loft bed), or the fact that the a/c doesn’t work well upstairs. I will also not miss the clanging of the jogging trail gate, or having strangers walk past and look into my windows.
Since we moved in, I have known we would not be staying here, so I have tried to fill up my eyes with the sights and sounds, and commit them to memory for when we leave. That way, I have my own little meditation reel when I need it. For example, when I am extremely stressed, I will focus on rebuilding my grandparents’ living room, how it looked, how it sounded, how it smelled, what I could see through the window, the clicks and hums of the house, the sound of the clock, and once I have it built, I let my brain sit in there for a while and recharge. I have several different places like this to visit in my mind, and this home here will be cataloged among them now.
And, now I get to build new neural pathways at the new place. New streets to explore, new neighbors to be met, new experiences to be had. It will be very good.
The Outside Lane 