There is a lot outside my window that I will genuinely miss seeing after we move on Monday. I will definitely miss the canal, which feels more like home to me than anything has since we left Virginia. I will miss the varied trees and foliage. I will miss being able to go upstairs and look out the windows. And, I will miss standing at the top of the stairs, looking out that one unreachable window, watching the street lights turn a mile away. Visibility is good from upstairs.
I will not miss the bugs, the mud, the rank smell on hot days, the extra humidity, the worry that Thor will fall down the stairs (now I can worry he’ll fall out of his loft bed), or the fact that the a/c doesn’t work well upstairs. I will also not miss the clanging of the jogging trail gate, or having strangers walk past and look into my windows.
Since we moved in, I have known we would not be staying here, so I have tried to fill up my eyes with the sights and sounds, and commit them to memory for when we leave. That way, I have my own little meditation reel when I need it. For example, when I am extremely stressed, I will focus on rebuilding my grandparents’ living room, how it looked, how it sounded, how it smelled, what I could see through the window, the clicks and hums of the house, the sound of the clock, and once I have it built, I let my brain sit in there for a while and recharge. I have several different places like this to visit in my mind, and this home here will be cataloged among them now.
And, now I get to build new neural pathways at the new place. New streets to explore, new neighbors to be met, new experiences to be had. It will be very good.