When it comes out, you’re all going to buy my book, right? Nicole and I are very proud to have accomplished publication after, oh, twelve short years of striving. That is, Nicole did all the legwork to get the book deal. I just sat around and said, “It’s not good enough! It’s not perfect yet! I can’t publish anything that isn’t Tolstoy! People will mock me!”

I just finished my secondary edits, and though it still isn’t perfect or Tolstoy (and let’s face it, I don’t have enough angst in my whole body to produce anything close to real drama–I’m always clowning) it is ours, and it is being published, and if anyone has any negative commentary, my response will be, “Yeah? Where’s your book, bitch?” Only, I probably won’t say “bitch” because I would feel bad about it later. Actually, I would probably say, “Thank you for the feedback. We just keep working to get better at it, and I will certainly remember your criticism for the future.” Then, I will cry myself to sleep, tears falling softly onto the pillowcases I’ve had monogrammed with my very own ISBN number. Suck it, haters.

I love how my name looks in print.