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Debbie and the Stages of Grief


You are some lovely people, you know that?

Coming soon, we might have the opportunity to help a WWK accomplish a goal, using just a few mouse clicks. I’ll tell you more about that later. Right now, I am thinking about how funny it is that we all want acceptance, and how acceptance is the 7th stage of grief.

If we are fortunate, we come into this world loved by decent people, who have our best interests at heart. If we are fortunate, it takes a little while to realize that the world is full of unpleasant surprises, many of those in the form of people, then, we spend the rest of our lives in the various stages of grief, as relates to the humans around us.

1. Shock and Denial.
How? Why? What could ever possess someone to be out-of-the-blue mean? Why did Debbie pour dirt on my head, at the playground?

2. Pain and Guilt.
I must not be a good enough little girl, or else Debbie would want to play with me. She torments me because there is something wrong with me.

3. Anger and Bargaining.
Okay, this has to stop! This isn’t fair! But…maybe if I can just be better? If I try to act like Debbie acts, or do the things that Debbie likes, she’ll stop bullying me.

4. Depression, Reflection, Loneliness.
No, that didn’t work. I am simply alone. Doooooooomed. Like The Hulk, I will walk the earth alone. But first, I am going to stand in front of my choir class and paraphrase Shakespeare in a tearful, hystrionic address, and then go sob in the upper-classmen’s bathroom for an hour.

5. The upward turn.
Well, now I have humiliated myself in front of 30 girls and Debbie still hates me. But I have also discovered that it is possible to humiliate yourself in front of 30 girls and it not be the end of the world. I’m still alive and kicking…that’s got to count for something.

6. Reconstruction and Working Through.
If this is how it is, I’ve just got to learn to deal. I’m okay alone. I can entertain myself. I know…I’ll write fiction about a girl named Debbie who is eaten by alligators*. Debbie is still being a bully, but I just don’t have time for that right now. I have a new chapter to write because those alligators are eating her slowly. Hey, you know what? I’m a pretty good writer. I might follow up this story with one where Debbie is eaten by sharks. Slowly.

7. Acceptance and Hope.
Debbie is a bully. That’s just the way it is. I am going to avoid her as much as possible and be responsible for my own happiness–maybe I should take up acting? I’m pretty good with the Shakespeare. I accept Debbie for who she is, and am kind of excited because I hear her family is going to the zoo soon. Maybe, just maybe she’ll want to lean over the railing to look at the alligators…

We’re just working those stages all day, every day. Professional stages of grief over when that report is due. Personal stages of grief over why your thighs won’t cooperate with your skinny jeans. Financial stages of grief over how much you owe in taxes. We are all, always working something out. We should be kinder to one another. Even to Debbie–because god only knows what is going on at that kid’s house to make her so angry and abusive.

*Fantasizing the untimely demise of your enemy is unflattering past 6th grade. Especially if it involves wildlife.

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Author:

Happy. That about covers it.

One thought on “Debbie and the Stages of Grief

  1. Actually, I just heard a psychologist talk about how the stages of grief are more like interwoven orbs, which we may suffer at the same time. Plus, they are constantly cyclical throughout our lives (you know, like the pain never goes away), but the intensity of the pain can lessen over time. I thought it was pretty interesting stuff and it made a lot of sense. Obviously, he explained it a lot better than I am!

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