As part of the Women Worth Knowing project, I have asked a few of my man-friends (that’s a very Golden Girls terminology, isn’t it) to share what they think makes a woman worth knowing. My friends are in various stages of relationship, some married, some dating, some divorced or divorcing, some straight, some gay. All of them have mothers, though, so they have that in common!
The first essay comes from my Brother-in-Law, Chris.
Chris was a senior in high school when I started dating his brother. I knew from the start that he was a keeper. Growing up, I always wanted a little brother. I really couldn’t have imagined one better than the one my husband would give me. He is smart and funny, and a true romantic, and after you read this, you’re all going to want to snatch him up.
Here is Chris on what makes a woman worth knowing:
She’s smart. Smart enough to be 16 moves ahead of you – to have you in checkmate before the game’s even started. Sharp enough to see each and every string dangling down in front of you, and to know exactly which ones to pull, exactly what angles to pull them from, and exactly how hard. She can have you crawling on your hands and knees, through broken glass and salt, and you’d never even know why. But you’d love every second of it.
But then something remarkable happens. She doesn’t do any of that. Because she’s busy, damnit, and she has better things to worry about than you. You’ll figure it out or you won’t. She’d prefer that you do, but if not, she’ll be just fine. She has a life to live – fires to put out, missions to accomplish. And she doesn’t need you in order to do it.
She’s strong. But she doesn’t rub it in anybody’s face. She doesn’t have to. It just comes through, because she’s confident, and capable. She handles her business, and is ready at the drop of a hat to help out here or there for the people in her life she cares about. She’s smart enough that she doesn’t try to take on too much – it’s seldom more than she can handle. And when it is… she manages anyway. She never backs down from a challenge, and is rarely ever overmatched. When she is, she doesn’t cry about it. She takes her lumps, learns her lessons, and moves on to the next challenge.
She’s quirky. She doesn’t fit the mold. Either you like it or you don’t. She doesn’t particularly care which.
She’s a good judge of character. She calls a duck a duck, a cat a cat, and she can smell a rat a mile away. She doesn’t associate with the rats, but she doesn’t particularly wish them any harm, either. She just wants them to go build their rat nests elsewhere, and stay out of her hair. But God help the rat that decides to make a mess in her life. Generally she’s more than happy to lay the poison down herself, and kill it dead. But, if that’s not an option, she knows plenty of cats who are fiercely loyal to her, and will be more than happy to take care of the problem for her.
Much more than anything, she has a heart of gold. She’s not always happy, of course, but you can always feel love coming from her. It’s her family – her parents and siblings, her spouse and her children. It’s friends, old and new, and casual acquaintances. It’s the strangers on the streets or on the 10 O’clock news who are going through the most difficult times in their lives. It’s anyone and everyone she meets. She refuses to be taken advantage of, but if you need it, and you’re not trying to steal it, she’ll give you the shirt off her back, and ask if you could use her bra to keep your head warm. You can see it in her eyes, and hear it in her voice. She’s a good woman, and she’s proud of it.
That, my friends, is a woman worth knowing. I’m fortunate enough to know several, and to have had their influences in my life over the years. I’m a much better man because of it. I am most blessed.
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