Do you ever find shoes in your closet and go, “Why don’t I wear these more often? These are cute!” And then two hours into your day go, “Oh yeah…”
I’m doing that right now. I remember that I bought these shoes for a very specific purpose: To wear to Thor’s baby dedication.
Two things I learned from that day. One, never, ever, ever wear something that is going to be broadcast on a church plasmatron without taking a photo of yourself in it first. Holy post-pregnancy body in shiny stretch lace, Batman! And never, ever, ever wear something that is going to be broadcast on a church plasmatron without taking a photo of yourself in it first. Yes, I know I have repeated myself. The lesson was so important, I learned it twice. No, five times. Once from every bad angle.
I do recommend taking pictures of outfits. You’d be surprised how different an outfit looks on camera. Like that adorable green top I wore to Leslieann’s bridal luncheon? In person, extra adorable. In the photos? Oh my word. So many kinds of wrong I won’t even bore you with all of them.
When taking the pictures, you’ll want four. One from the front, one profile, one backside, and one seated-profile. You want to make sure nothing weird is happening when you sit down.
ALWAYS sit down in the dressing room when you are trying something on. I cannot understand how actresses go on talk shows in skirts that are so short they keep yanking them down self-consciously throughout their interviews. Did they not have to sit down in the greenroom? Seriously, Tina Fey. I love you more than cheese, but I couldn’t pay attention to what you were saying for worrying about the dress you kept tugging on the last time you sat on Letterman’s stage.
The Outside Lane 