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Women Worth Knowing: Meet Deborah

the outside lane

Do you know how hard it is to be a teacher?  Not just the mental capacity it takes to know material so well that you can teach it, but the emotional capacity it takes to want to teach it?  Teachers have to prepare lessons for classrooms diversified by ability to learn, ability to communicate, socio-economic backgrounds, types of families, and plain old types of personality.  Then, they have to implement the lessons so that the talented and gifted kids aren’t bored, and no one else is left behind.  And they have to grade papers, knowing the fine line between telling a student he’s got it all wrong, and showing him how to get it all right.  If the teacher is good, the students will never know how hard she (or he) is working.

Deborah is just such a teacher.  At least her state thinks so, since they have honored her for her ability.

I met Deborah through Irene, and like Angie, though I’ve only met her once in person, I’ve been reading her blog for quite some time.  She’s amazing!

Deborah is kind and considerate, and is definitely one of the sharper tools in the shed.  She is studied and educated, and continues to strive for more and better for her family, for her students, and for herself.  As you read on, I think you’ll wish you’d known her all your life.

Meet Deborah.

Name: Deborah
Age Range: 40s
Job Title: History Teacher
Industry: High School

Who are you? An Alpha-Mom, History Geek, Birkenstock wearing, over-achiever

Describe Your Family: Husband of over 20 years and the most fabulous kid in the world!  And a house full of animals that is ever-expanding thanks to our 11 year old son.  🙂

What does the first hour of your day look like? Hectic.  I am not a morning person and hate getting up in the morning.  Yet I have to be at work at 7am.  This is why dad takes point in the mornings.

What does the last hour of your day look like? Either me veging out in front of something I recorded on the TV or working on stuff for school (lesson planning or grading.)  This is after I have read with our son and gotten him all tucked in since I take point at bedtime.

What makes you feel successful? When I see our son grow in feeling secure and being responsible.  When my students “get it.”  When we have great family moments.

What brings you joy? See above.

What were you like in first, sixth, and twelfth grades? All of them – talkative.  I just can’t stop!  And using my hands while doing it.  1st grade – a bit shy because we had just moved to Texas.  6th grade – very secure, going to a small catholic school with only 6 kids in my grade.  And all of us but one were related (cousins) and my mom was the cafeteria lady at the school.  12th grade – ready to go into the world.  By then my parents were divorced and dad and I were butting heads.  Graduated in June and was out by July.

What advice would you give yourself at each of those ages? 1st grade – just make friends.  6th grade – stay in touch with those cousins, you never know when you are going to move again.  12th grade – let go of things more quickly, being angry does you no good.  And get scholarships!!

Who do you admire? My Great-Grandmother, who was known as Nanny.  She was an incredible woman, strong, loving and with high expectations.  She has been my role model for years.  She raised a family, was a teacher in a one-room school house, involved in volunteer efforts and was always there for her family no matter what.

How would you like to be remembered? Like her.  Someone who is strong and there for other people.

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Women Worth Knowing: Meet Angie

the outside lane

I don’t know Angie that well, but we share several mutual friends and I can attest to her loyalty, her charity, and her gifts as a person.

Angie and I met through Kerri (who I hope will be willing to take the spotlight soon), and we spent one evening in each others company.  Aside from that delightful night of fondue and fruity drinks, I have been reading her blog and interacting with her on web forums for close to a decade.

In the last couple of years, Angie has gone from couch to 5k, and if I’m not mistaken, from couch to triathlete.    She manages a consuming career, motherhood, marriage and a social life, and from the pictures I’ve seen, a house that would make Martha Stewart sit up and take notice.

So many times when I am writing these introductions there are very personal stories I want to tell about these women worth knowing.  Those aren’t my stories to tell, though.  I have stories like that about Angie.  Just trust me when I say she knows what it is like to lose, to despair, and to keep moving forward until she could attain her highest goals.

Meet Angie.

Name: Angie
Age Range: 30s
Job Title: Wife, mother, Sales Execution Analyst, Wonder Woman
Industry: Telecom

Who are you?
Let’s see…who am I. The first thing that comes to mind is that I am a mother and wife…beyond that I am a great friend that is a bit on the self-conscious side. I don’t like to be the center of attention ever, but I also don’t like to hide on the sidelines…I am a middle grounder. I take a while to get to know…but only because I feel like people are constantly judging me. I am not much of a boat rocker, but once you get to know me I will tell it like it is. I don’t like unhappy endings and I try to make amends with anyone who I might have an issue with. I am socially moderate and fiscally conservative. I drive a mom-mobile volvo wagon and LOVE IT! The most important things in my life are my family and I adore beyond my wildest dreams being a mother.

Describe Your Family:
For 10 years we were DINKS (Dual Income No Kids) and now we are the happy parents of a very happy 3 year old girl. My family is happy, healthy and positive about most things. We would like another child and hope that someday it happens, but are at peace with our family of 3 if that is all that is in store for us.

What does the first hour of your day look like? Depends on the day, but Mon-Wed the first hour of my day is “crazy”. It starts at 5am when the alarm goes off. It’s out of bed, in the shower, getting ready and out the door by 5:50 with the babe. I drop my daughter off with Grandma and off I go to catch my vanpool. I barely have time to pour a cup of coffee to go…but somehow I manage. My husband is a big helper…he gets the girl up in the morning and gets her into the car. He’s incredible. On the other days, it’s less crazy…I don’t get out of bed until about 7 or 7:30 if I can help it…the pace is slower and I get to enjoy cuddle time with my daughter.

What does the last hour of your day look like?

It’s usually me running ragged around the house trying to get prepared for the next day. Then I veg in bed watching mindless TV until my eyes are droopy and beg for sleep.

What makes you feel successful?

When other people compliment me on how well my daughter behaves or uses her manners.

What brings you joy?

My family…my husband is incredible and my daughter is seriously the best thing to every happen to me. My extended family is also very important to me.

What were you like in first, sixth, and twelfth grades?

1st…I was a total flirt. I chased boys every day. 6th I was insecure and a complete drama queen. I cried at the drop of a hat in 6th grade…the hormones were flowing. 12th grade I was focused…college bound…still insecure, but I tried to keep my eye on the prize.

What advice would you give yourself at each of those ages?

If I could have changed anything it would have been to work on figuring out how to be happy with myself at any of those ages. If I knew then what I know now I never would have cared what others thought of me…that goes for most of my 20’s too, btw.

Who do you admire?

I admire my grandmother for being such a hard worker and enduring really tough times while her kids were growing up and my dad for enduring a childhood that was very difficult and having to grow up and be an adult at the age of 12. My mom for being so sweet and for loving my daughter the way she does. I also admire my friend Darren for loving his wife and my friend, Teresa, so much that it gave her a reason to live and in turn giving her friends a few more great years with her. Not many men would have done what he did. And Teresa for battling Cystic Fibrosis with her head, body and heart…with every ounce of her being….until the moment she passed. God, I miss her.

How would you like to be remembered?

As a great mom, fantastic wife and a really loyal friend.

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More Fashion Faux Pas

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…and then once, I thought the people at church were so nice for offering me a little blanket to put over my knees. It was cold in there, but I resisted. I resisted until the blanket lady insisted, and then I realized it had nothing to do with my comfort, and everything to do with the fact that my skirt was so short it was distracting the pastor.

And that’s the day I stopped wearing mini-skirts.

That is also why you will always see me with a sweater, or a scarf when I am wearing a knee length or shorter skirt. I bring my own lapkin. Don’t want to distract anyone with my dainties.

Same church, 10 years later. I was working for them at that point. Dress code stated that you had to wear trousers that touched the bottom of the ankle.

I had this pair of pants that hit right at the middle of my ankles. I was poor! I was working with the clothes I had. Normally, I wouldn’t openly defy a dress code because I’m pretty much a rules girl about things like that. However, the pants were loose, so I would wear them a half inch lower than intended, and they would fit dress code perfectly–my manager complimented me on them.

A couple of times I didn’t get them shimmied down before morning prayer, but we are seriously talking about half an inch. No more.

Well, I got called in to the office due to complaints about my half inch too short pants. I was told that I had a spirit of rebellion and was causing strife in the ministry, and that I needed to check myself and pray more because they were worried that I was being oppressed by a demonic spirit. Granted, these were the same people who told me that if I would pray more, God would speak to me and tell me when other people were making mistakes, so I could catch their mistakes and correct them.

I don’t work there anymore. I think all parties are relieved about that.

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Old Navy Clearance

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FYI, I had a major wardrobe malfunction earlier (lost some important buttons, and realized two more were hanging by threads), so I ran in to Old Navy. They have some great items on clearance right now! If you have a store near you, and $5–$15 to spare, you can pick up some cute tops that will wear well to the office. Most of the clearance in my local store was on Spring items, so very seasonable.

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Eye of the Beholder

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Getting the shameless self-promotion out of the way, this week over at That’s What She Said, I give the characters of The Office management makeovers. 

Fashion is trial an error, isn’t it?  One woman’s style is another woman’s shock and horror.  The Fug girls have built an industry out of putting error on trial.  I like to experiment, so I’ve been the subject of shock and horror more than once.

I think the worst case of it came on a date in college.  I was out with this boy I had crushed on for a year.  Early 90s, so I was still industry thin and had a gorgeous stomach.  Ah, those were the days.  I was wearing a crimson colored, off the shoulder body suit (it was the 90s!), with 3/4 sleeves, a black gauze broomstick skirt with fantastic embroidery in the same crimson, deep gold, and cream across the bottom.  I was also wearing a necklace I’d found in my favorite vintage store (Ahab Bowen, which is still in business if you live in the Dallas area and want a find–I thank my friend Stephanie for introducing me to her haunt 20 years ago), a necklace I still wear now and then.  It’s a bigger art piece, with crescent shaped filagree bits and delicate chain work.  I love it.

After embarrassing being a goofy 20 year old in lurve at Shakespeare in the Park, I was sitting at dinner with this boy in what passed for posh in that part of town.  Rather than just telling me he wasn’t feeling the connection, he looked me over and said, “You don’t really think you look good, do you?”

I did.  I really did.  In fact, I still do.  In fact, when I wore the same outfit in Manhattan, I was stopped on the street by people wanting to know where it came from.  It was cute.

Martin didn’t think so, though, and I was crushed for about ten minutes.  I got up and went to the ladies room where I stared at myself in the mirror.  I had to choose.  Was I going to be embarrassed about my taste because he didn’t share it?  Would I take off the necklace he had indicated as being awful?  Would I cry?  What?

I decided it was his problem.  I was happy.  If he didn’t want to look at me, he didn’t have to.  I ended the date and that was that.  Oh, I went home and cried.  I cried for a couple of days, but hurt feelings aside, I did understand that a man who didn’t get my style just didn’t get me.  Neither one of us were wrong, we were just wrong for each other.  (And he could have been kinder)

I ran into him years later and met the girl he married.  We could not have been more different if she had been from Mars.  He got what he liked, and so did I.  More important, I kept what I liked about me.

What do you like about you?