books, Reviews

A Review: Saints and Sinners


A great book and a meh book, one with a heavy figuring a saint and funny/insanely funny people, and the other with a variety of sinners and sads.

Where’d You Go, Bernadette: A Novel, by Maria Semple, is gorgeous.  It is layered and lively, told uniquely through the email correspondence, handwritten notes, and recorded conversations of its adult characters, and narration from its fifteen-year-old heroine, Bee.  It was intelligent and interesting on architectural, technological, and emotional levels, and it reminded me of what I like best about writers like L’Engle and Dean.  That is, the effortless flow of science and solid literature in the narrative.  I like reading a book that makes me want to go read up on something real.  Bernadette does that.

I read this in a few hours, and actually got excited when I turned on my Kindle after my bath, last night, and saw I was only 62% through.  I still had a lot more to go!  I had been afraid I was close to the end.  Now I’m sorry it is over, so I”ll have to go read it again.

Five out of Five stars

Beautiful Ruins, by Jess Walter, seems like it should work.  Like Bernadette, it is told in bits and pieces, through the perspectives of different characters.  There is action, there is adventure, there is travel, there is romance, and there is Richard Burton standing on a ship on the coast of Italy.  But it doesn’t work, mainly because there are no likable characters.  There are sympathetic characters, but no one to like.  No one to get behind.  No one to care for, so why bother?  The two characters who come closest to fitting the bill disappear entirely for sections of the book.  The writing is goodish.  I mean, there is nothing wrong with the writing.  It is perfectly good writing, but it fails to deliver on that emotional level. 

It took me 2 weeks to slog through it, and even then I only skimmed bits that were stand-alone segments, having little to do with the story.  I didn’t enjoy the reading at all.

Two out of Five stars*

What’s funny to me is how much Bernadette and Ruins have in common in the way of style, storytelling, diversity of cast, and use of pop culture. They couldn’t be more different, though.  Bernadette is going somewhere specific with it’s patchwork, and it makes a quilt.  Ruins doesn’t know what it wants to be with its hodgepodge, and it makes a mess.

 

*I have to say that Ruins isn’t a terrible book.  It isn’t even a bad book by today’s standards.  But, it is not an enjoyable book.

books, Reviews

Reviews: Weight Loss, Living Life, and the Brady Family


I was trying to decide on a book, when I came across this one with nesting dolls on the cover, and decided to give it a try.

 

Stranger Here: How weight loss surgery transformed my body and messed with my head, by Jen Larsen was…sad.  It’s a good read, but it is a sad read.  It did make me think about how there is no magic bullet to any success.  Weight loss surgery is no easier than hitting the gym.  There is still a lot of will power required, and possibly even more required thought about food and eating than doing something like Weight Watchers.  It isn’t easy to have your insides rearranged, and it isn’t easy to change your life to fit new innards.  Even harder is the work required to get your head right because if you don’t love yourself fat, skinny isn’t going to change the self-loathing.  And that’s the whole point of Larsen’s memoir.

4 out of 5 stars.

 

 

13 Little Blue Envelopes is a book by Maureen Johnson.  Clearly, I did not choose this one for the cover.  I chose this one because it was $.99 when I bought it, and I was looking for light reading.  It is a sweet, but not cloying YA novel that follows 17-year-old Ginny across Europe.  I’m not going to tell you anything else about it, other than that I loved it.  I loved it so much that I actually clapped when I saw that a sequel had arrived.

 

The Last Little Blue Envelope follows Ginny back to Europe and introduces new friends.  I loved this one, too.  Yes, you could see the end coming from the beginning, but it was an end worth getting to, and just as easy and enjoyable as the first.  Read this.

4.75 out of 5 stars for both.

 

I also read Here’s the Story, by Maureen McCormick.  I loved Cindy Brady best, but clearly Marcia’s was the hair to have. Her memoir was a little like if Mackenzie Phillips and Melissa Gilbert’s memoirs had a baby.  Yeah, let that sink in.  Definitely worth reading if you like memoirs, and especially if you grew up watching the Brady Bunch, but not really easy prose.

3.75 out of 5 stars.

Reviews

Girl Gone Wrong: A Review of Girl Gone, by Gillian Flynn


I don’t read a lot of fiction.  Fiction probably makes up about a tenth of what I read in a year.  It isn’t easy for me to slip into someone else’s world anymore because I’ve made such strong connections with others that anything less than those frustrates me.  (That’s a main reason I get frustrated with my own writing.)  I don’t like crime drama, and I like true crime even less*, so I’m slow to pick up anything labeled Mystery.

Girl Gone, by Gillian Flynn, kept popping up on my Facebook feed, my Twitter feed, and my Goodreads notifications, and people whose opinions I respected were saying, “I am reading Girl Gone–really good!”  I had just finished reading Going Clear, by Lawrence Wright, and I needed a palate cleanser from the hard fact that it was only a couple of dollar signs between me and Paul Haggis.  I mean, had Jesse Duplantis asked for money, and the COS told me they were free, I might have joined the Sea Org instead of the Superkids.  So, Girl Gone seemed just the thing to soothe my ruffled thetans.

A few pages in and I was hooked.  Flynn is great writer.  She is descriptive in that way that you find yourself squinting because the sunlight she’s written about is so bright.  The tone, the pace, the voices were pitch perfect, and I could not put the book down.  I literally held it in one hand and brushed my teeth with the other.  It was that good.  I ended up with toothpaste close to my ear, and on my shirt, but I didn’t care.  I haven’t wanted to read a book so badly in years.

Then, halfway in, the plot twisted in a way that left me feeling betrayed.  I told B that it was as if I had started reading a mystery novel, and then realized I was reading sci-fi.  The book didn’t turn sci-fi, but the plot twist turned everything upside down and completely reset the novel, so that it was like the Bizarro version of itself.  This twist occurred while I was at lunch, and I sat there with my Jersey Mike’s Club Sub halfway to my mouth, just staring.  How had this happened?  bite  Did I miss something?  bite  I flipped back a few pages and reread, just to be sure.  bite  No.  That actually happened.  bite.

I chewed my way past the betrayal and decided that even though this was not the book I thought it was, it was still a good book.  That behind me, I read the next quarter of it with intrigue, if not as much enthusiasm.  It was still well written.  It was still well-paced.  The tone and the voices, though now utterly different, were still good.

The story devolved, though.  I reached the denouement puzzled and disappointed.  The sharpness of the first half of the book had muddled into something else.  The caffeinated clarity faded into a sloppy drunkenness, and by the time I reached the end, I was simply sad.

I can’t say I hated the end of the book.  The resolution was a plausible outcome, given what the characters had become, but it wasn’t one I could enjoy at all.  It was just enh.  For as simply brilliant as the first half had been, the ending was hard to take.  Still well written.  Still believable.  But it was putting a Ken doll’s head on a Barbie doll’s body and asking me to admire the hairdo.

I’m going to give the book 4 out of 5 stars just because the first half is that strong, and because in retrospect Flynn was very clever with little details that seemed like nothing at the time.  It felt so good to have a Book Crush again.  A book that drew me in so fast that I dreamed about it, brushed my teeth reading it, and snuck it around with me all during the day to keep reading it.  Yes, it broke my heart, but man it was worth the ride!

*I was in a B Dalton bookstore, my Freshman year in college and I was looking at the True Crime section.  My grandmother loved true crime, so I had read a lot of hers out of sheer boredom and had come to enjoy the thrill of them.  No matter that the subject just made my paranoia worse, and always gave me nightmares, I was standing there trying to suss out whether I wanted a book on one serial killer, or a book about what makes a serial killer tick.  Something kicked into gear in my brain and I thought, “Why would I want to know what makes a serial killer tick?  Do I really want to identify with that?  Knowing what a killer thinks doesn’t protect you from the thinking.  Same way knowing how many different kinds of sharks there are doesn’t keep one from snatching you off your surf board.”

Something else kicked into gear and I suddenly wondered how the families of the victims felt?  If these parents walked into the bookstore, were they faced by the smiling mugshot of the man who had murdered their daughter?  I thought about my mom and dad, and what that would do to them.  I felt a little ashamed for having been titillated by the genre, and the longer I stood there, the more “a little” turned into “a lot.”  So, I walked out of that section and never looked back.

books, Reviews

A Review: Pink Prose, by Alison Hay–Truly Rose Colored


I’ve always loved a good person story. Since grade school, I have gravitated toward a variety of biographies, autobiographies and memoirs, and I read somewhere around 20 every year. I have favorites, of course. Those favorites have these things in common: a strong, vivid voice, well-put ideas, wit, and a healthy vocabulary.

Up on my list in the past couple of years are Your Voice in my Head, by Emma Forrest, Love in a Headscarf, by Shelina Janmohamed, and Girls Like Us, by Sheila Weller. After having finished Pink Prose, by Alison Hay, I’m adding her to the list.

I love when I am reading along in a book and find myself wanting a highlighter, or a notepad so I can jot down what the author has said and all the ideas the passage has fired up in me. This happened several times as I read Hay’s book. Her thoughts on objectification were my first happy jolt, then her frank dealings with the trappings of superstardom from the sidelines (especially her anecdote about a photo shoot with Annie Leibovitz) and managing to be a person and a personality, and again when she talked about sales, customer service, and negotiation. I finally quit using the highlight feature in my Kindle because I was just marking up too much. I’ll read the whole thing again later and think some more about all the ideas I liked.

Hay’s format flips back and forth between solid, this-is-what-happened stories from her life, and impressionistic interludes of this-is-what-it-felt-like moments in time. The latter require more attention paid, and more emotion invested from the reader–there is a sense of the Seventh Veil in each of those chapters (and if you haven’t read Skinny Legs and All by Tom Robbins, you must–then you will understand what I mean when I am talking about Seventh Veil reveals.) I really enjoyed the juxtaposition between water color words and solid, pop-art realism. It’s pretty rare to read a book that feels like you’re getting to move between gauzey Monet and bold Lichtenstein every few pages. Pink Prose is an art gallery of a book.

Maybe what I liked best is the way Hay uses the English language. Her tone is conversational and conspiratorial, but she speaks to you expecting your intelligence, your sense of humor, and your ability to keep up with her vocabulary and wit. Is it sad that I got so excited over her vocabulary? I couldn’t help comparing her easy command of language with the more pedestrian memoirs I’ve read from her contemporaries. She made me feel smarter for reading stories about Boy George, which is pretty hard to pull off.

I liked the book well enough that I have subscribed to her blog, and am hoping she’ll publish again soon. This is a memoir I can recommend without reservation, whether you are a fan of Culture Club or the 80s at all–oh, did I forget to mention that Alison Hay was married to Roy Hay of Culture Club, and that a lot of the book deals with life as part of a musical sensation? Yeah. I picked up the book because of that, but I couldn’t put it down because of everything else.

4.5 out of 5 stars–go read it!

Reviews

A Review: Pitch Perfect Falls Flat


Damn.

I suppose I could leave that up as my one word review, but you might be confused and think I meant it as a good thing.  I do not.  I do not at all.

Listen, I love a good cheesy teen movie.  I love Bring It On.  I love Center Stage.  I love 10 Things I Hate About You.  The cheesier, the better.  The more dancing, cheering, singing the better.  But this?  Oof.

Here’s the basic plot:  18 year old angry girl (played by Bella Swan’s best friend), who is mad at the world because her parents got divorced, is going to college on a full ride because her father is a professor.  She hates him, hates the world, and wants to be in LA “making it” as a DeeJay.  She has more expensive equipment and a better dorm room than a Winklevoss twin, without any of the charm of an Armie Hammer.

Angry Girl joins the Barden Bellas, an all-girl accapella group, as a means of getting her evil father (he is evil because he asks her to enjoy her college experience–literally) to let her quit school.  They make a deal that if she can join a club and STILL hate school, he will pay for her to go to LA. 

So, will Angry Girl gel with the Bellas, love college and stay in school?  Or will she find these Cheertator Rip-Offs as annoying as I did, pack up her mixing gear and head for LA?

But that’s not really the plot.  It might be.  The plot might also be about the Barden Bellas, an inexplicably victorious group that dresses like 70s flight attendants, whose last run for first place ended when inexplicably beastly blonde (played by Sarah Newlin, who says things like, “Acca-scuse me?!”), inexplicably vomited during her solo on The Sign (okay, maybe not inexplicably.)  Now, they have lost all their hot counterparts because no one likes chunk blowing Cheertators Accatators, and Beastly Blonde and Perky Redhead (played by Amber Von Tussle the Lesser) are trying to find 8 replacement girls to get them back into the finals to beat their main rivals, the Treble Makers–Barden’s all-boy accapella group.

Wait–that is also not the plot.  There is also the plotline with Angry Girl and Doofus (played by some random, who I think is supposed to recall Van Wilder), who both work at the college radio station as interns with only one other (presumed) upper-classman with an inexplicable British accent.  Inexplicably, this (the only hot guy in the mix) person gets maybe 15 seconds of screen time.  Doofus loves Angry Girl and tries to woo her with The Breakfast Club, but is getting Acca-blocked because Angry Girl is Angry and Does Not Trust Love, and also, Beastly Blonde says Bellas can’t date Trebles.  God.

Further subplottery is:  Beastly Blonde is married to the song routine which has served her faithfully in the past.  Angry Girl wants to mix it up.  Will Angry Girl mix it up so much that she loses the whole show for the Bellas?  And can Beastly and Angry work out their differences to make the Bellas truly beautiful?

I will not even touch on the weird Elizabeth Banks/Fred Willard roles. 

If any of this sounds good to you, trust me, it is not.  It is not good.  It is awful.  The best parts of this movie all have to do with clips showing the last 5 seconds of The Breakfast Club.

As for this being a breakout role for Rebel Wilson…  No.  Just a bunch of fat jokes at her expense.

House Bunny was a better movie.  House Bunny was a better movie by a thousand.

Awful.  Sad.  Boring.

0 Stars out of 5