Author: the outside lane

Happy. That about covers it.
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Women Worth Knowing: Meet Christine

the outside lane

I met Christine through LiveJournal.  Isn’t the internet amazing?  You can meet all these people from all over the world and be enriched through their writing, and the way they share their lives.  Knowing Christine has certainly enriched me.

Honesty is impressive.  Christine is one of the most honest women I know.  Since I started reading her, she faced down the question of her faith in an astoundingly practical way, unafraid of what her personal answers would mean to others.  She faced down questions about her own self-image.  She faced down questions about her career.  She’s done it all with gravity and fearlessness, and utter respect for herself and the people around her.  See, she remembers what some forget:  That when you are changing your world, you are changing the worlds of those around you.

She can tell you about herself more eloquently than I.

Meet Christine.

Name: Christine

Age Range: Newly Forties!

Job Title: Administrative Assistant

Industry: Manufacturing/Environmental

Who are you? I am first and foremost a mother.  Mother to two daughters ages 15 and 13.  Then, I am a wife and a daughter and then finally, I am a woman.  An American woman.  A woman who struggles daily with her responsibilities to her family and her body.  I am an Atheist.

Describe Your Family: My immediate family consists of my husband, David and our two daughter, Doc and Boo (monikers).  But my family also includes my father and my mother (divorced for the last 27 years) and my in-laws.

What does the first hour of your day look like? 6:30AM David leaves for work and The Boo starts to wake me up.  I will either sleep until 7:00 when she gets serious about dragging me out of bed, or I’ll get right up…it all depends on how much rest I got.  As soon as I’m done with the morning potty, I will strip down and weigh myself.  If it’s Tuesday or Thursday, I’ll put my sweats on and get myself on the treadmill for the next half hour.  If it’s any other week day, I will make myself my morning iced coffee/protein drink and then park my butt at the computer for an hour.

What does the last hour of your day look like? Usually I spend the last hour of my day sitting here in front of this computer screen.  I’m either reading Blogs or playing games on Facebook (I’m addicted to Pathwords and Tetris) When I get blurry-eyed I take my meds & supplements and head to bed, where I’ll read for at least twenty minutes before nodding off.

What makes you feel successful? More than anything?   My daughters.  They are high honor roll students.  They both play instruments.  They both play sports.  They are both loving and intelligent and thoughtful and interesting people.  They are my greatest success.  Secondly, my marriage.  I have been happily married since 1991.  We are good to one another and we work together to make our life what it is.  Our children are a direct result of our love and dedication to each other and to them.  Third? My weight loss.  Yes, I had gastric bypass to help me lose the weight, but it’s all me when it comes to keeping it off.  I could easily gain it back…but so far I’m doing everything I’m supposed to do to keep it off and I’m successful!

What brings you joy? When right wins over wrong.  When justice is served.  When my daughters are happy.  When my boss praises me.  When all feels right in my world.  Music. Music. Music.

What were you like in first, sixth, and twelfth grades? In first grade I was Advanced.  I lived in Georgia and I was able to skip Kindergarten and go right into first grade because I already knew how to read and write.  In first grade I felt smart.  In Sixth grade we moved from Georgia to New York.  In Sixth grade I still felt very, very smart.  But I was also The New Girl.  I was different.  I had a thick southern accent.  People loved that I said “ya’ll”.  Sixth grade is when I first started to want to kiss boys.  Sixth grade is when I played Mrs. Claus in the Christmas Pageant.  Sixth Grade is when I sang “The Rose” with two of my friends for the school talent show.  Sixth Grade is the last time I played any type of school sport (intramural basketball).  Sixth Grade was the last year of my parent’s marriage and the last year that I felt safe and loved for a very, very long time.

Twelfth grade…I only made it through the first two months of twelfth grade, then I dropped out of school.  I had a boyfriend.  I had no parents.  I had no one to stop me.  I didn’t realize what I was doing.  I dropped out and ran away with my boyfriend, never to return to high school.   Twelfth grade was the beginning of a long, hard road.

What advice would you give yourself at each of those ages? First Grade:  Eat your veggies.  Learn to swim.

Sixth Grade: Your parents will always love you, even if they don’t love each other anymore.  It’s not your fault.  Smoking is a really, really bad thing to do.  Eating fast food is an awful thing to do.  Don’t worry about your mother, she’s going to be fine in twenty years.  For the love of all that is holy, eat some vegetables and go ride your bike!  Pretty soon, they will invent soft contact lenses and you will be rid of those Coke bottle glasses! The episodes that you’re going to start experiencing next year?  That make you feel a sweaty and sick to your stomach and like you are losing your mind?  There’s a name for those.  They’re called panic attacks.  And just knowing that they have a name and that you’re going crazy will probably make you feel a little better.  In twenty years everybody and their brother will know about panic attacks…but in 1980, no one’s ever said those words where you live.

Twelfth grade:

Christine…you need to stay in school.  For the love of all that is good, listen to me and STAY IN SCHOOL!  You do not want to miss out on Senior year, prom and graduation just because of some dirt-bag, dead-beat loser.  He doesn’t love you…he just needs you to fill a void in his life.  Don’t be so stupid, girl!  Get your diploma.  Leave that idiot. Listen to your father, he really does know best.  Oh! And I almost forgot!  That seventeen year old body that you hate so much? That you think is so fat and so gross?  Girl, you need to know that it’s never going to get any better!  You need to enjoy it while you’ve got it…love it…feel good about it…realize that it’s sexy and beautiful!  Your forty year old self would like nothing more than to have that seventeen year old’s body back.  You’d better appreciate it.  Also, that whole panic attack thing?  It will end faster if you face your fears.  Those things that you avoid daily?  You should force yourself to do them.  It will help.  Also, go to the doctor and get yourself some medication.  Because you actually have a chemical imbalance in your brain that is causing you to feel so depressed and anxious.  One last thing.  You are worthy of love.  Just the way you are.

Who do you admire? I admire anyone who is willing to sacrifice of themselves to make this world a better place.  I admire people who take real risks in order to make progress happen.  I admire people who are willing to stand up and say “This is wrong and I will not pretend that it’s not”.

How would you like to be remembered? I would like to be remembered as a good mother who raised two healthy, happy, successful women.  I’d also like at least one person to remember me as someone that taught them something or opened their mind to a different point of view.

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Women Worth Knowing: Meet Deborah

the outside lane

Do you know how hard it is to be a teacher?  Not just the mental capacity it takes to know material so well that you can teach it, but the emotional capacity it takes to want to teach it?  Teachers have to prepare lessons for classrooms diversified by ability to learn, ability to communicate, socio-economic backgrounds, types of families, and plain old types of personality.  Then, they have to implement the lessons so that the talented and gifted kids aren’t bored, and no one else is left behind.  And they have to grade papers, knowing the fine line between telling a student he’s got it all wrong, and showing him how to get it all right.  If the teacher is good, the students will never know how hard she (or he) is working.

Deborah is just such a teacher.  At least her state thinks so, since they have honored her for her ability.

I met Deborah through Irene, and like Angie, though I’ve only met her once in person, I’ve been reading her blog for quite some time.  She’s amazing!

Deborah is kind and considerate, and is definitely one of the sharper tools in the shed.  She is studied and educated, and continues to strive for more and better for her family, for her students, and for herself.  As you read on, I think you’ll wish you’d known her all your life.

Meet Deborah.

Name: Deborah
Age Range: 40s
Job Title: History Teacher
Industry: High School

Who are you? An Alpha-Mom, History Geek, Birkenstock wearing, over-achiever

Describe Your Family: Husband of over 20 years and the most fabulous kid in the world!  And a house full of animals that is ever-expanding thanks to our 11 year old son.  🙂

What does the first hour of your day look like? Hectic.  I am not a morning person and hate getting up in the morning.  Yet I have to be at work at 7am.  This is why dad takes point in the mornings.

What does the last hour of your day look like? Either me veging out in front of something I recorded on the TV or working on stuff for school (lesson planning or grading.)  This is after I have read with our son and gotten him all tucked in since I take point at bedtime.

What makes you feel successful? When I see our son grow in feeling secure and being responsible.  When my students “get it.”  When we have great family moments.

What brings you joy? See above.

What were you like in first, sixth, and twelfth grades? All of them – talkative.  I just can’t stop!  And using my hands while doing it.  1st grade – a bit shy because we had just moved to Texas.  6th grade – very secure, going to a small catholic school with only 6 kids in my grade.  And all of us but one were related (cousins) and my mom was the cafeteria lady at the school.  12th grade – ready to go into the world.  By then my parents were divorced and dad and I were butting heads.  Graduated in June and was out by July.

What advice would you give yourself at each of those ages? 1st grade – just make friends.  6th grade – stay in touch with those cousins, you never know when you are going to move again.  12th grade – let go of things more quickly, being angry does you no good.  And get scholarships!!

Who do you admire? My Great-Grandmother, who was known as Nanny.  She was an incredible woman, strong, loving and with high expectations.  She has been my role model for years.  She raised a family, was a teacher in a one-room school house, involved in volunteer efforts and was always there for her family no matter what.

How would you like to be remembered? Like her.  Someone who is strong and there for other people.

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Women Worth Knowing: Meet Angie

the outside lane

I don’t know Angie that well, but we share several mutual friends and I can attest to her loyalty, her charity, and her gifts as a person.

Angie and I met through Kerri (who I hope will be willing to take the spotlight soon), and we spent one evening in each others company.  Aside from that delightful night of fondue and fruity drinks, I have been reading her blog and interacting with her on web forums for close to a decade.

In the last couple of years, Angie has gone from couch to 5k, and if I’m not mistaken, from couch to triathlete.    She manages a consuming career, motherhood, marriage and a social life, and from the pictures I’ve seen, a house that would make Martha Stewart sit up and take notice.

So many times when I am writing these introductions there are very personal stories I want to tell about these women worth knowing.  Those aren’t my stories to tell, though.  I have stories like that about Angie.  Just trust me when I say she knows what it is like to lose, to despair, and to keep moving forward until she could attain her highest goals.

Meet Angie.

Name: Angie
Age Range: 30s
Job Title: Wife, mother, Sales Execution Analyst, Wonder Woman
Industry: Telecom

Who are you?
Let’s see…who am I. The first thing that comes to mind is that I am a mother and wife…beyond that I am a great friend that is a bit on the self-conscious side. I don’t like to be the center of attention ever, but I also don’t like to hide on the sidelines…I am a middle grounder. I take a while to get to know…but only because I feel like people are constantly judging me. I am not much of a boat rocker, but once you get to know me I will tell it like it is. I don’t like unhappy endings and I try to make amends with anyone who I might have an issue with. I am socially moderate and fiscally conservative. I drive a mom-mobile volvo wagon and LOVE IT! The most important things in my life are my family and I adore beyond my wildest dreams being a mother.

Describe Your Family:
For 10 years we were DINKS (Dual Income No Kids) and now we are the happy parents of a very happy 3 year old girl. My family is happy, healthy and positive about most things. We would like another child and hope that someday it happens, but are at peace with our family of 3 if that is all that is in store for us.

What does the first hour of your day look like? Depends on the day, but Mon-Wed the first hour of my day is “crazy”. It starts at 5am when the alarm goes off. It’s out of bed, in the shower, getting ready and out the door by 5:50 with the babe. I drop my daughter off with Grandma and off I go to catch my vanpool. I barely have time to pour a cup of coffee to go…but somehow I manage. My husband is a big helper…he gets the girl up in the morning and gets her into the car. He’s incredible. On the other days, it’s less crazy…I don’t get out of bed until about 7 or 7:30 if I can help it…the pace is slower and I get to enjoy cuddle time with my daughter.

What does the last hour of your day look like?

It’s usually me running ragged around the house trying to get prepared for the next day. Then I veg in bed watching mindless TV until my eyes are droopy and beg for sleep.

What makes you feel successful?

When other people compliment me on how well my daughter behaves or uses her manners.

What brings you joy?

My family…my husband is incredible and my daughter is seriously the best thing to every happen to me. My extended family is also very important to me.

What were you like in first, sixth, and twelfth grades?

1st…I was a total flirt. I chased boys every day. 6th I was insecure and a complete drama queen. I cried at the drop of a hat in 6th grade…the hormones were flowing. 12th grade I was focused…college bound…still insecure, but I tried to keep my eye on the prize.

What advice would you give yourself at each of those ages?

If I could have changed anything it would have been to work on figuring out how to be happy with myself at any of those ages. If I knew then what I know now I never would have cared what others thought of me…that goes for most of my 20’s too, btw.

Who do you admire?

I admire my grandmother for being such a hard worker and enduring really tough times while her kids were growing up and my dad for enduring a childhood that was very difficult and having to grow up and be an adult at the age of 12. My mom for being so sweet and for loving my daughter the way she does. I also admire my friend Darren for loving his wife and my friend, Teresa, so much that it gave her a reason to live and in turn giving her friends a few more great years with her. Not many men would have done what he did. And Teresa for battling Cystic Fibrosis with her head, body and heart…with every ounce of her being….until the moment she passed. God, I miss her.

How would you like to be remembered?

As a great mom, fantastic wife and a really loyal friend.

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More Fashion Faux Pas

the outside lane

…and then once, I thought the people at church were so nice for offering me a little blanket to put over my knees. It was cold in there, but I resisted. I resisted until the blanket lady insisted, and then I realized it had nothing to do with my comfort, and everything to do with the fact that my skirt was so short it was distracting the pastor.

And that’s the day I stopped wearing mini-skirts.

That is also why you will always see me with a sweater, or a scarf when I am wearing a knee length or shorter skirt. I bring my own lapkin. Don’t want to distract anyone with my dainties.

Same church, 10 years later. I was working for them at that point. Dress code stated that you had to wear trousers that touched the bottom of the ankle.

I had this pair of pants that hit right at the middle of my ankles. I was poor! I was working with the clothes I had. Normally, I wouldn’t openly defy a dress code because I’m pretty much a rules girl about things like that. However, the pants were loose, so I would wear them a half inch lower than intended, and they would fit dress code perfectly–my manager complimented me on them.

A couple of times I didn’t get them shimmied down before morning prayer, but we are seriously talking about half an inch. No more.

Well, I got called in to the office due to complaints about my half inch too short pants. I was told that I had a spirit of rebellion and was causing strife in the ministry, and that I needed to check myself and pray more because they were worried that I was being oppressed by a demonic spirit. Granted, these were the same people who told me that if I would pray more, God would speak to me and tell me when other people were making mistakes, so I could catch their mistakes and correct them.

I don’t work there anymore. I think all parties are relieved about that.

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Old Navy Clearance

the outside lane

FYI, I had a major wardrobe malfunction earlier (lost some important buttons, and realized two more were hanging by threads), so I ran in to Old Navy. They have some great items on clearance right now! If you have a store near you, and $5–$15 to spare, you can pick up some cute tops that will wear well to the office. Most of the clearance in my local store was on Spring items, so very seasonable.